: Hi Marion,

: So I'm not Kathleen, but I've been
: thinking about your post and
: wanting to respond. You've done a
: lot of research and self
: observation, and I applaud your
: willingness to change your eating to
: improve yourself and
: your family relationships. As a
: daughter who was sometimes afraid
: of her
: dad's temper, I especially appreciate
: your caring for her in that way.

: I also read in your note the
: difficulty of living in such a
: narrow space
: with eating. It sounds like one wrong
: move and you're off, still, even
: with your current plan. You're both
: released from troubles and also
: still in
: jail, in a way.

: I don't know the answer for you. It
: looks like you're using some of
: the ideas
: from this program and they're working
: for you. I can only say that by
: going
: all the way with this program that
: I've found great freedom with
: eating and
: physical and emotional stability. I
: can eat out anywhere, and food is
: easy.
: But I know it's hard to let go of one
: thing and try another. I just want
: to
: say how easy things are with food and
: emotions after doing this program
: for years.

: Your food plan looks a little light
: on food in general-I don't know
: your size,
: but I do know not eating enough over
: time can lead to bingeing. Also,
: are
: you eating breakfast within the hour
: since you exercise first? If not,
: that can also
: lead to BE spiking and trouble later.
: You might want more browns than
: just
: one piece of toast with breakfast if
: you're exercising frequently too.

: JoEllen

JoEllen,
Im new to this so not sure if my response should be here or above your response.
But, thank you for your comments. I really appreciate it. And you are right, I am in prison somewhat. Its hard to describe how I feel but I would much rather have this plan and feel the way I do, than the other way, eating what I want and being almost bipolar, manic, funny energetic then angry moody ready to ( and often do) snap at the next person I see.

So I am all about trying. I admit to using the food diary, which helped me observe myself more closely and the relationship to the food I eat. The most challenging was to add the correct amount of protein, so I would not get sleepy after eating. But found that eating too much protein or not enough brown foods, I would get edgy in a different way, very uncomfortable, irritable. Not a rage but something different.
I am sure that the food diary will be a key to a successful next step of eating in other settings. But as I mentioned, its comfortable where I am, but not where I want to be.
Now that my wife and kids are on board with the reality of this program, perhaps we together can do it. I keep thinking I am alone in this quest, so its nice to know others are in the same challenge of food obsession until understood.

My daughter is 19, in college and living with us. My wife sees a lot of me in her. High energy, do anything or at least thinks she can, then crashes and sleeps thru a class. Unexplained anger at an inappropriate time or undeserving person. Not that anyone deserves it but at least have a reasonable situation to become upset.

I cannot overstate how elated I am at being in control. In control of my temper. Of my binging. A true addiction. Nice to be free of that. So yes there is a fear to step farther into the water,
Its like I'm saying "Im fine, right here, ankle deep in the ocean, yall swim all you want, Ill just enjoy watching."

Now that I am open to posting my thoughts, I will slowly pursue some solutions. I am just not sure how to, YET.

Thanks again for responding.
Marion