This morning when I was in my kitchen I could hear the Sandhill Cranes calling outside as they flew over, and the White-crowned Sparrows singing in the hedge. Later, when I went out to put the dogs in their kennel, the clouds were pink as the sun was rising, Cranes were flying over, calling loudly. I saw a bird in my yard that I have never seen in my yard before. It was a Steller's Jay, which are usually in the mountains, but here it was in my yard in the valley. On the drive to work, I saw various birds on the power lines, and then as I approached Albuquerque, the sky was full of hot air balloons. (This week the annual balloon fiesta is taking place, and there are balloons and tourists from all over the world here.)

Before doing the program, I probably would have noticed very little of this, or even if I did, it wouldn't have brought me joy. I walked around in a haze of emotional pain, with all my attention directed inward, toward the dialogue in my head. And that dialogue was not pleasant. It was full of drama, bitterness, self loathing, anxiety, you name it. I lived in my head, and it was not a good place to be.

A few months before I started the program, I got my first dog. I used to walk her around the block. I remember when the awful voice in my head faded away, and suddenly I was noticing people's gardens, butterflies, clouds and birds on my walks instead of wandering around starring in my own miserable soap opera.

Before the program, I would read about how positive thinking would improve your live, and then I would try to do it, but I could only keep it up for a very short time before I would be miserable and negative again. Then I would be angry with myself for being such a loser that I couldn't even be positive if I tried. After doing the program, although I didn't turn into Pollyanna, I began to naturally be more positive about things and notice the good things. It didn't even take an effort on my part.

When you are starting out, it's easy to feel impatient and feel that things won't get better, but if you do the food, they will. Not overnight, but things will change.
Allison