: tAlready, after only three days of
: breakfast, I beginning to feel a
: bit stabilized.I am putting it
: first in my life after morning
: prayer..Silence and gratitude
: surround me.

Char, it's great to see you back! I wrote this to the Radiant Reflections class list a while ago. Doing this program for many years has shown me just how valuable doing the food, mediation and exercise have been and continue to be as the foundation of my recovery journey.

Well, this was pretty intense for me. It's like I've had a brain shift. I have been feeling physically pain free for about 6 months now and much of the underlying anxiety I had about aging and even the possibility of dying has receded. Instead there is a sense of opportunity that presents as possibilities I had begun to dismiss.

So when I sat quietly, just waiting to see what would emerge, I felt no angst, only mild curiosity. I had for the past couple of days resumed writing morning pages and my Lifetime Story. I'd also started walking 20 minutes. What came to me is that I would rather meditate in the mornings than do a brain dump into morning pages. I have no 'issues' that I am looking to resolve, rather am at a place where I just want to be open to possibilities that will continue to enrich my life experiences.

I know from past experience that meditation and exercise are key, along with doing the food. The food is always top priority and is really very steady. But I had the sense during this quiet reflection that adding meditation (even twice a day) and just walking every day will be what I want as a foundation for everything else. I'm not a morning person, so trying to get out to the gym for a morning class is not what I want.

Today it is cold, single digits. I wrapped myself in a blanket, meditated and spent a leisurely morning, went to Starbucks, talked by phone with a friend, then ran into an AA friend and her 1 1/2 year old. We spent some time catching up and talking about Christmas, her new baby due in February at the same time my new granddaughter will be born. it was lovely, I wasn't rushing off anywhere, could be present to the experience. I came home and had lunch then walked for 20 minutes on the treadmill because it really is too cold to walk outside today.

Then I sat down and did some writing on my Lifetime Story. I also realized I want to resume reading letters my (German) father wrote to his extended family around the world when he left Germany shortly before World War II. They are rich in both family and world history and sitting on a bookshelf in the basement near the treadmill. I will read when I walk!

This got long, but I am excited and energized. I am at the point in my Lifetime Story when I stopped drinking (that was 26 years ago), and began the journey of recovery that continues today. My heart is always so full of gratitude at this time of year, and I especially have loved doing these reflections in the Radiant Recovery community. Thank you Kathleen and all!