Thank you so much Gretel
In Response To: Re: So good to be back ()

I so appreciate your words.I believe we have much in common..same both recovering alcoholics....I will write more tomorrow .it is late.Blessings Char

: Well, this was pretty intense for me.
: It's like I've had a brain shift.
: I have been feeling physically
: pain free for about 6 months now
: and much of the underlying anxiety
: I had about aging and even the
: possibility of dying has receded.
: Instead there is a sense of
: opportunity that presents as
: possibilities I had begun to
: dismiss.

: So when I sat quietly, just waiting
: to see what would emerge, I felt
: no angst, only mild curiosity. I
: had for the past couple of days
: resumed writing morning pages and
: my Lifetime Story. I'd also
: started walking 20 minutes. What
: came to me is that I would rather
: meditate in the mornings than do a
: brain dump into morning pages. I
: have no 'issues' that I am looking
: to resolve, rather am at a place
: where I just want to be open to
: possibilities that will continue
: to enrich my life experiences.

: I know from past experience that
: meditation and exercise are key,
: along with doing the food. The
: food is always top priority and is
: really very steady. But I had the
: sense during this quiet reflection
: that adding meditation (even twice
: a day) and just walking every day
: will be what I want as a
: foundation for everything else.
: I'm not a morning person, so
: trying to get out to the gym for a
: morning class is not what I want.

: Today it is cold, single digits. I
: wrapped myself in a blanket,
: meditated and spent a leisurely
: morning, went to Starbucks, talked
: by phone with a friend, then ran
: into an AA friend and her 1 1/2
: year old. We spent some time
: catching up and talking about
: Christmas, her new baby due in
: February at the same time my new
: granddaughter will be born. it was
: lovely, I wasn't rushing off
: anywhere, could be present to the
: experience. I came home and had
: lunch then walked for 20 minutes
: on the treadmill because it really
: is too cold to walk outside today.

: Then I sat down and did some writing
: on my Lifetime Story. I also
: realized I want to resume reading
: letters my (German) father wrote
: to his extended family around the
: world when he left Germany shortly
: before World War II. They are rich
: in both family and world history
: and sitting on a bookshelf in the
: basement near the treadmill. I
: will read when I walk!

: This got long, but I am excited and
: energized. I am at the point in my
: Lifetime Story when I stopped
: drinking (that was 26 years ago),
: and began the journey of recovery
: that continues today. My heart is
: always so full of gratitude at
: this time of year, and I
: especially have loved doing these
: reflections in the Radiant
: Recovery community. Thank you
: Kathleen and all!