Hi {!firstname_fix}

Well, I guess last week's nudge touched a LOT of you. Thank you for all the feeback. This week, I am continuing the discussion. I think we are onto something!

Please feel free to pass this week's newsletter on to your friends and family. Don't forget to let me know what you like and would like to see.

A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www.radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter. If you wish to unsubscribe, use the link at the bottom of the page. Do not email me, do not get mad at me, just click on the linkand you will be forever removed.

And be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly.

Warmly,
Kathleen

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May 10, 2004
** Quote From Kathleen **


Oh my is the program deceptive. Seven simple steps and a lifetime of miracles.

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** Testimonial for the Week**

I'm glad Ethelred brought this up. I've been meaning to comment on the 'being stuck' chats. I'm one who stayed stuck at step 2 for a year and a half. For me this means I was solid on breakfast that entire time. I journalled sporadically - on for several weeks then lapsing, then back on again. I made forays into step three, would see progress, then school would start or whatever and throw my schedule off. I read the forum and this list regularly and went to chats but didn't post or participate.

So why couldn't I get on with it? Isolation, fear and sloppy intention. I was truly afraid of how my life might have to change if I were happy and sane. In the meantime things had improved alot. I was able to stop taking the antidepressant I'd been on for 10 years. I pretty much stopped yelling at my kids. My anger and rage were greatly reduced. I gradually, without effort reduced candy consumption to almost nothing (candy was my sugar of choice). I could stand my life. I wasn't desperate so I was sloppy because it was easier.

So what happened to get me going? First, Kathleen told someone that if they were having so much trouble with their journal (I don't remember the details) they should move on to step 3. This was a revelation! I could move on as long as I kept trying to journal. Second, Kathleen posted about 'the step 7 delimma' How we see things differently with radiance and sometimes have to make big changes in our lives. I copied it down and read it over and over. That was in the summer I think, and by fall I knew that fear and isolation were holding me back. I kept hearing in my head Kathleen saying "you cannot heal in isolation"

I did a 90/90 posting on the forum to get out of isolation and get step 3 going and steady. It worked. I was starting step 4 when the 'life event' happened and I stayed at 3 and slowly the journal started getting sloppy again. I posted my journal for awhile and got the potato going. Then something shifted. My commitment went to another level. It was like, "let's just do this" No big fanfare. Just 'doing it'

The next chat I went to was the 1st 'being stuck, and just doing it' one. Pretty cool, I thought. So now my journal is steady, step 3 is steady, step 4 is steady. I am reading up on step 5 and thinking of what it will require of me. I cook ahead. I don't run out of potatoes and some are cooked ahead. I find myself needing vegetables with lunch and dinner.

So do I have a point here? Even though I was "stuck" for a long time, I'm not sure it was a bad thing. I was in a pretty steady place emotionally when I did start to move on. I don't know what could have gotten me moving sooner. Maybe knowing that I didn't have to love the journal, that I could do step 3 and 2 at the same time. Definitely, connecting would have made a difference. After all, you can't give me a nudge if you don't know I'm here.

In the end I think I just had to come to the realization that this - Radiance, a step7 life - is what I want. More than anything else. More than being lazy, or careless, or mindless when it comes to food. To realize that how I feel and how I am in this world is worth more to me than the passing pleasure of sugar, whites, and grazing. I guess maybe we all get to this place in our own time and our own way.

Thanks for listening,
Janice in Maryland

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** Your Last Diet: More Than What You Think**

Are you feeling fat and ready to lose weight? Have you tried everything and are ready for a plan that works?

YLD is THE best program anywhere.

Come join us and hear about this success!

http://www.radiantrecovery.com/YLD_signup.htm


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** Radiant Recovery Seminars **

Ranch in Albuquerque is almost upon us. Stay posted to hear about the fun we have.



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** David's Corner **

Many people have asked me about Omega 3 fatty acids and the value of taking fish oil. I asked Kathleen to write something for all of you. Click here to read her suggestions. And, of course, we carry great fish oil options.

ProEpa capsules are a concentrated, odor free, certified heavy metal option for adults. We have DHA Jr. for children. It has a higher percentage of DHA which is the kind of omega 3 kids need for growing brains. And we also carry a very tasty cod liver oil (yes, it IS tasty!) for those of you would like to just put it in your shake or who need a larger dosage.

Please send questions and suggestions for items you might like to see in our store. YOU are building our store. Tell me what you want and we will sort it out.

Thanks
David

And of course, we have something for everybody in our store


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** Featured Topic**
Making Change
by Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

Every week, I get many letters from people who feel inadequate, overwhelmed, fat, out of control and unable to do the program. Or I get letters from people who feel buffeted by the stress in their lives. People have died, work is demanding, no time, no space, no capacity to “do” anything but get by.

And each time I say, “These feelings are caused by being out of balance. The stress does not create the feelings, your biochemistry does.” When you are balanced, you respond to stress differently, it becomes functional rather than overwhelming. You stand in the center of the swirl with a sense of calm and clarity about priorities and demands. And when you are not balanced, that idea seems totally off the wall.

When you are in the middle of what I call sugar feelings, you will be reactive and feel done to. You will feel like a victim. You will feel like you can do nothing right. And of course it seems like these feelings are REAL because it is what you feel. And when you feel that way, you need something to help you hold them, so you get ice cream and soda. And you feel better for a little while. Life is manageable for a few minutes and you are seduced into thinking that this is comfort. But what you think is comforting you is the cause of what you are feeling. It is a deadly, seductive dance.

When you are in that place, the idea of the “program” seems totally overwhelming. No, you cannot give up sugar. No, you cannot manage to plan anything. I just don’t get it! You feel it is just too big and too unattainable. It is too much so you need to just give up and feel that nothing will work.

So, here is the bottom line. This program can not only save your life, it can transform it. It can make you clear and steady. It can give you a platform for losing weight. But it cannot work its magic unless you do it. And you do not have to do it all at once. You do not have to be perfect or rigorous or disciplined. You can come, you can whine, you can stumble. But if you show up, you ask for help and you listen, and then you follow instructions, things will change.

Sugar sensitive people are notorious for not listening. We think we know it better. We think that we are unique, a special case and the plain ole boring do the steps slowly and in order does not really fit our situation. That way of thinking has to go. If you want what we have, do what we do. We do the steps. We have breakfast every morning, on time. We journal. We eat meals on time. We have enough protein for our body. We take the vitamins and eat the potato. We eat whole grains and we do not have sugar. We are funny, focused and purposeful.

And we are NOT different from you. We were there in that dark, horrible place. Every single one of us, including me, has been there. And it is a place we do not want to go back to. The way out was not magic. It was showing up and “doing”. Doing breakfast, doing journal. Doing potato. One choice at a time. One day at a time.

As I said last week, “Nodding will not heal you.” Agreement will not make change. Commitment makes change. You do not have to live that way any more. Come on over and let’s do this together.

©Kathleen DesMaisons 2004.