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September 7, 2015

Hi {!firstname_fix}

I went to my local growers market on Saturday morning. It was fairly early so the light was still soft and yellow. There was a guy playing and singing songs from he 60s and 70s. I love his voice. He also makes rain barrels. I got tomatoes and green beans and tiny carrots. And I bought a tiny fig tree, a brown turkey fig tree. He said his grandmother had brought the original stock from Italy and since he is my age, that must have been quite a while ago. He told me how to take care of it and I paid close attention so I can do it right.

Ronan and little Miss Daisy have been outside in the *prairie* all weekend scouting for tiny lizards. They are cheating the roadrunner of his delicacies. My neighbor across the street had a guy pull all the weeds but they left the purple amaranth. It is a deep purple color and when the light hits the adobe, the purple lights up. The last few days have been soft - feels like we are shifting to autumn.

I have been having fun reading research..it stimulates my mind into thinking how we can grow and enhance our programs.

These classes class will begin Wednesday, September 9, 2015. Please Signup and it will take you to the registration page:

Using Radiant Resources

A free orientation for those of you who are brand new and would like to find your way around all the things we offer in the community. One of our mentors will show you the ropes. Watch for the welcoming email with a link to join the Yahoo list we use as our classroom.
Language of Recovery

A number of people in the Family and Friends group have asked me about doing a Special Class on the Language of Recovery. They have shared with me how useful it has been to work through complex family situations when they have practiced *recovery scripts* like, *I am sorry, that won't work for me.* Here will be your opportunity to come and do case studies of weathering dysfunctional family patterns and finding new ways to deal with what seem to be entrenched interactions. This class will be highly interactive so make sure to get your place.

This class will begin Wednesday, September 16, 2015. Please Signup and it will take you to the registration page:

Radiant Step Two Introduction

A group for people who have not yet mastered beginning journal skills and would like some special guidance in how to do it, and most important, how to use it. This class is the perfect way for those of you who are getting ready for step two to learn first hand why and how to journal. It will make it fun!

A number of you have asked me how the classes work. Check the class list page for more information on this. And please go read the questions and answers before you write to me. If you have trouble getting through the process, write the tech forum.

Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly.



**Quote From Kathleen **

This is a process. You do not have a 'sobriety date' to mark that sugars are gone forever. You simply move more and more into a healthy relationship with your body.


**Testimonial of the Week **

Hi All,

An amazing thing happened yesterday that I just have to share. I observed that our mornings seemed to be emotionally-charged lately. Although our food was steady, the mornings were just becoming hectic and unhappy.

After breakfast yesterday I talked about this with my children (10, 9 and 7). Instead of coming down on them with a list of disappointments and consequences, I shared my observations and asked them to do the same.

Then, I asked them to come up with some solutions. They had some great ideas which we implemented today. Our morning was much smoother and we talked about this at breakfast again. I thanked them for their solutions and willingness to work at this, and we all felt great.

I realize that I was able to work with the children in this way because my food is steady. I am much more clear-thinking than I used to be. I am able to remove my emotions from tough situations and talk lovingly with my children to come up with solutions.

As a result, the children follow my lead and keep their emotions in check as well. When they need to cry, I wrap my arms around them and help them work through it without becoming upset myself.

When I am at peace, it brings my children peace. Doing the food has brought us to a much more joyful and happy place.

Well, one of the problems was the morning scramble for what to wear, (I'm sure you parents know what I mean, lol!), so my 7yo daughter suggested that we choose 5 days' worth of clothes and have the outfits ready to go. No looking for ties, belts, shoes or socks this morning!

Another problem was bickering about morning chores. My 9yo son worked with my other son and daughter to divide the chores up so that there would be no questions about who was going to do what.

We talked about the noise in the morning...the volume can get high if the kids are talking from upstairs to downstairs. My 10yo son recommended that we can focus better on what we need to get done in the morning if we keep the volume at a normal level by waiting to talk until you're with the person you're talking to!

We didn't have any problems with getting our proteins and browns on time, or getting out of the house on time, so I did thank them for these skills as we worked on the solutions.

Finally, the kids came up with a morning routine that they posted on the wall so that they don't miss anything. It goes like this:

Wake up
Eat a protein and brown
Make bed
Do chores
Get dressed & brush teeth
Smile, you're ready for the day!

It seems like simple stuff, but allowing the kids to come up with the solutions was really empowering to them and made for a much more peaceful morning today. Being steady on the food gave me the sense of well-being and clear-thinking to guide the kids through their own solution-making process. Doing the food continues to heal and strengthen us!



**Notes from the Forum **

The dress dilemma - Solved! This is making me feel grateful today.

I have an Occasion planned where the dress code is fairly smart. A few years ago this would have been an alarming thought... I would have been panicking at the last minute and trying to find an outfit, choosing the thing that fit good enough. Or going in my same-old-thing.

A couple of weeks ago I went shopping with this event in mind, and despite trying on most of the shopping centre, there was nothing I really liked. The things that fit didn't inspire me. But I had a lovely day, and instead of feeling a bit low at 'failure' it didn't have any charge to it.

On Saturday I was out and about and spied just the thing in a shop window. Fairly casual but the sort of dress that can be dressed up or down... I thought it was ideal.

And the magic thing was - I bought it - because I will be the same weight when I need it and so will still fit into it. This has not always been the case. I am remembering how distraught I used to feel about clothes shopping and how unreliable everything always felt, how my weight fluctuated so much I lived in the same few elastic-waisted outfits.

Happy days.



** Radiant Recovery Store **

Here is a heads up for all you new people. Make sure to get a copy of our CD, The Theory and Practice of Radiant Recovery. This set is the complete audio resource for learning about the program. And it has things in it that are not in the book. Get it, put it on your ipod, listen to it in the car, it REALLY makes a difference.

Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.


**Radiant Kitchen **

We have been talking about vegetables and how to make them not be so boring, so I am going to give you some ideas each week. This week is sesame broccoli. This recipe is for one head of broccoli, you can adjust it if you are making more.

Put 1/2 cup of raw sesame seeds in the bottom of your skillet with about 2 TBS of coconut oil. Stir them on medium heat until they are browned. Add the broken up broccoli to the pan and stir. Add 1/2 cup of water to the skillet, cover and wait for 5 min.

Take the cover off, and add 1 TBS of toasted sesame oil and 1 TBS of olive oil and stir everything.
For great program-friendly recipes, check out our Cookbook in the store and visit our online Radiant Recipes site.


**Radiant Your Last Diet **

Your Last Diet!Our approach to weight loss is based on Kathleen DesMaisons' groundbreaking book, Your Last Diet! This is weight loss for real people. Your last Diet! Is the only weight loss program especially for sugar sensitive people. It addresses YOUR unique body and brain.

The first part of Your Last Diet! works on healing the addiction to sugar by balancing your blood sugar, and raising your serotonin and beta endorphin (brain chemicals associated with addiction.)

This extraordinary text describes a process that means you will NEVER diet again. The program heals the reasons why you are overweight. It walks you through a four-phase process to lose weight permanently and totally stop the pattern of yo-yo dieting.

And the weekly chats are really fun and make the process come alive.

If you would like to join us in YLD, come find us here


**Radiant Living **

Your Last Diet! Radiant Living is about the big picture and the practical ideas for daily implementations of the changes you are seeking. The dialogue will meet you where you are and offer ideas that you may not have heard before. Let go of old thinking that growing up has to be hard or painful. This is about joy, discovery, fun and creativity. And, of course, LOTS of laughter.

There is no step requirement to participate, only honesty, willingness and openness. We ask that you come when your food is steady and holding you.

We provide 2 weekly chats and a special email list to talk about the concepts we are working with.

If you would like to join us in Radiant Living, come find us here


**It is Not the Rules That Count **
Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

I went shopping for some gifts for my grandsons a while ago. I went to the store that sells Dungeons and Dragons to talk with them about an introductory game to give my grandson. I expected it to be sort of gothic and scary. It wasn't at all. The guy behind the counter told me that he had started playing as a teen. He was raised in a Southern Baptist household that was very conservative. His mother had burned his books as being from Satan. Of course he still played. Then many years later, his younger brother who is 16 years younger got to be a teen and wanted to learn. His mom called him for a consult. They all played together and had a wonderful time.

We decided on an introductory game for Andrew. And then he said maybe I should get the rule book as well. I noticed that there was a rule book bundled with a Dungeons and Dragons for Dummies. I thought, AHA, I could get that and then I could play with him. I thought it was a board game. The guy explained that it is really about story telling. So, off I went with my treasures in the turquoise plastic bag. Not black, and no scary symbols.

When I got home, I sent an IM to Jim. Jim used to be the liaison for the mens list and is a grand master or something in the D&D system. I don't really know specifically but I know he goes to conventions and wins prizes. I asked him if this was an ok thing to be doing or if I would get in trouble with my daughter. He said, no, no it is wonderful. It is all about stories and characters. I said, *Oh, like imaginative play for guys?* He said, yah.

I told him that I looked at the rule book and it was a little intimidating. I wasn't sure that I could learn it. But then I thought it was sort of like the program. When we start, it feels incomprehensible with all the nuances and details. But we just start with one thing and learn that. And then learn the next.

The Jim said, *just remember, Kathleen, it is not the rules that are important, it is the story.*

Well that just about knocked my socks off.

I think that is true for the program too.

In the last few weeks, we have been talking about what doing a fine program means. We had an issue when some folks were in Albuquerque at Ranch time. We went out to lunch at an Indian restaurant. I ate white rice. I didn't even think about it. I was thinking about the company. But it sort of created quite a stir. In fact, it meant that one of our leadership people resigned because of m*lack of integrity.* I had been thinking about this since then. Was there less integrity to act as if, was white rice really naughty since it never triggers me, I don't particularly like it, yada yada. Some folks said I needed to act *clean* around newbies. But that wasn't a newbie. The reality is I have been doing the program since 1988, coming up on 20 years. And I eat white rice at Indian restaurants.

We have been talking, and talking about this on our leadership team list. And people have been sorting out what step 7 means, what quality program means...But I couldn't find my point of view yet.

But when Jim said that...it is not the rules, it is the story....everything clicked.

The story...the recovery story. What is the quality of my life? How are my relationships? What is happening with my creativity? Is my program a joy, a support, nourishing and delightful? Does the habituation support me? Do I want skill, grace and excellence? When I was at the lunch eating some white rice, I was paying such attention to the PEOPLE, how they had grown, who they were, who they were connected to, how their programs were flourishing. Stuff like that.

Now, I know that this idea is a little different from what some of you have felt the PROGRAM is. But I want you to consider that THE program is not a monolithic mandate. It is a guidance for YOU to determine what works for you. It is an invitation, an invitation to discover your story, your story with food. Maybe for you white rice is bad, bad, bad. Maybe not. For me it is not. For me, Italian bread, even whole grain bread is a killer. So I don't eat it. It is danger, danger. But white rice is not at all.

I know we will keep talking about this. I also know that the ability to tolerate ambiguity is one of the things that grows as we do. If the *rules* are not the issue, but the story is, it makes it way harder. Because then you have to listen to your own story and stand with it.

What a wonderful challenge.

It is not the rules, it is the story.


Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them.

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Until next time!
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2015 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction.

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