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November 30, 2015

Hi {!firstname_fix}

Today's newsletter is coming after a rather extraordinary family time with 3 grandparents, 3 parents and 3 grandchildren celebrating first Thanksgiving and then my 70th birthday. Thanksgiving was a day of celebration and sharing. We actually did what we usually do at Thanksgiving - each person shares what he or she is thankful for. This year it was initiated by Andrew, the oldest grandchild who is now 20 and has officially graduated to participating in the *adult* Christmas gift exchange. The sharing was kind and thoughtful and evoked some tears from all of us. This is a group that genuinely cares for one another. This was the first time we have all been together in the same place at the same time so it was very moving.

Friday included candlepin bowling, a New England tradition. Some old high school friends of my kids came up with their kids so we had teams of teens and olders. I actually was brave and did well which pleased me. Then we went over to the high school for a game of touch football. I did NOT participate in that, LOL, but watched from the car where it was warm and cozy. My brother came up from Florida on Friday night, so the day just kept morphing as it went on.

We had a party on Saturday. I received a memory book with photos from many, many years. It was pretty amazing and must have taken a lot of preplanning. We went out to a restaurant on the water. I, of course, had a lobster and everyone else had scallops or chicken piccata risotto and shrimp. The dear waitress was trying to figure out how this family was configured since there were 13 people. We came home after and played board games as the young ones blazed their way through the questions.

It has been a gift. I got a text today reporting on dogs. Rescues are fine and Ronan is sleeping with the sitter on the bed with his head on my pillow. All is good.

I hope this week has been a good week for you as well.

This class will begin Wednesday, December 2, 2015. Please Signup and it will take you to the registration page:

Using Radiant Resources

A free orientation for those of you who are brand new and would like to find your way around all the things we offer in the community. One of our mentors will show you the ropes. Watch for the welcoming email with a link to join the Yahoo list we use as our classroom.

This class will begin Wednesday, December 9, 2015. Please Signup and it will take you to the registration page:

Brain Chemistry: Beta Endorphin

One of our most popular classes. It will teach you the core of the science behind the program. This is the outline for a critical part of sugar sensitivity, why you act the way you do and what you can do to change it. I love this class and so do all the people who have taken it. Somehow BE rocks!

A number of you have asked me how the classes work. Check the class list page for more information on this. And please go read the questions and answers before you write to me. If you have trouble getting through the process, write the tech forum.

Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly.



**Quote From Kathleen**

What seems like a story of food is really a story of possibility.


**Testimonial of the Week**

Hi All,

An amazing thing happened yesterday that I just have to share. I observed that our mornings seemed to be emotionally-charged lately, although our food was steady, the mornings were just becoming hectic and unhappy.

After breakfast yesterday I talked about this with my children (10, 9 and 7). Instead of coming down on them with a list of disappointments and consequences, I shared my observations and asked them to do the same.

Then, I asked them to come up with some solutions. They had some great ideas which we implemented today. Our morning was much smoother and we talked about this at breakfast again. I thanked them for their solutions and willingness to work at this, and we all felt great.

I realize that I was able to work with the children in this way because my food is steady. I am much more clear-thinking than I used to be. I am able to remove my emotions from tough situations and talk lovingly with my children to come up with solutions.

As a result, the children follow my lead and keep their emotions in check, as well. When they need to cry, I wrap my arms around them and help them work through it without becoming upset myself.

When I am at peace, it brings my children peace. Doing the food has brought us to a much more joyful and happy place.

Well, one of the problems was the morning scramble for what to wear, (I'm sure you parents know what I mean, lol!), so my 7yo daughter suggested that we choose 5 days' worth of clothes and have the outfits ready to go. No looking for ties, belts, shoes or socks this morning!

Another problem was bickering about morning chores. My 9yo son worked with my other son and daughter to divide the chores up so that there would be no questions about who was going to do what.

We talked about the noise in the morning...the volume can get high if the kids are talking from upstairs to downstairs. My 10yo son recommended that we can focus better on what we need to get done in the morning if we keep the volume at a normal level by waiting to talk until you're with the person you're talking to!

We didn't have any problems with getting our proteins and browns on time, or getting out of the house on time, so I did thank them for these skills as we worked on the solutions.

Finally, the kids came up with a morning routine that they posted on the wall so that they don't miss anything. It goes like this:

Wake up
Eat a protein and brown
Make bed
Do chores
Get dressed & brush teeth
Smile, you're ready for the day!

It seems like simple stuff, but allowing the kids to come up with the solutions was really empowering to them and made for a much more peaceful morning today. Being steady on the food gave me the sense of well-being and clear-thinking to guide the kids through their own solution-making process. Doing the food continues to heal and strengthen us!



**Radiant Ambassadors**

Today I met a High School friend and her husband for lunch. They were in town to help their son move. We had been out of touch for 15 years. I wanted to know about her son. It turned out he loved white bread and had a problem with binge drinking. I jumped in. I had both ambassador cards ready. As we got in my car after lunch, I handed each a copy of LSA (my own and a library copy). They instantly saw their son in the first sentence. When I dropped them off at his apartment, my friend said she was going to buy and read LSA and SARP and begin cooking program- friendly meals. In a couple of weeks, he'll arrive at their home for a 2-month visit. She's confident he'll want to read both books and begin the program immediately.

Next, I headed over to my doctor's office. As I drew close, I noticed "Bound To Be Read" and stopped in to buy a copy of LSA for my doctor. A sign said that Kathleen would be doing a book signing there on Tuesday. I asked for a written notice of that and was given a newsletter. The book was in a strong plastic bag. I put 6 of each Ambassador card in the book. I circled the book signing on the newsletter and put that in the bag, too. When I stepped into the doctor's waiting room, there were 2 copies of SARP on the shelf. I handed the bag to the receptionist and told her it was a gift book for the doctor.

Pleased with my day,


**Radiant Recovery Store**

Seven Steps to Freedom Coloring Book

Hot Off The Presses

Order Your Coloring Book Now


Spiral Bound with Washable Plastic Cover

Here is a perfect way to learn about the steps and have a very different relationship with them. This is a COLORING BOOK that allows you to get the concepts and literally *fill in the blanks*. It is funny, concise and to the point. A great option for your kids or your grandkids. Stop talking and start coloring. Everyone who has used it LOVES it.

Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.


**Radiant Kitchen**

Sour Cream Potato Pancakes

  • 2 medium russet potato's, cooked and grated skins on
  • 1/2 cup dry pancake mix (see my recipe below)
  • 2 tablespoon sour cream
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon pepper
Mix all ingredients together in bowl. Spoon batter into greased pan. Allow pancakes to brown, flip and brown other side. Serve pancakes with sour cream, warm unsweetened applesauce.

I have made these using whole grain or wheat pancakes mix. Batter is a little dry so add some milk or water. I have eaten these with breakfast along with eggs or at dinner for my brown. Fun different way to do that potato.

Dry Pancake Mix

  • 5 cups flour (wheat, rye, oat or mix)
  • 1 1/2 cups powdered milk
  • 1/8 cup baking powder
  • 1 tablespoon salt.
Store in Tupperware container.

To make plain pancakes

  • 1 1/2 cups mix
  • cup water
  • 3 tablespoon oil (melted butter)
  • 1 egg

For great program-friendly recipes, check out our Cookbook in the store and visit our online Radiant Recipes site.


**Radiant Your Last Diet**

We have been talking about how to stay focused during the holidays and not slip into shame, struggle and fear. Mostly it is about how doing the steps can transform everything on a profound level. It is so nice to have this level of support. We really, really like it.

If you would like to join us in YLD, come find us here


**Radiant Living**

Radiant Living is all about support for learning how to *live* as you move towards radiance. The stability of your food and the steps will form a foundation to bring you into a new way of living. We will talk about emotional sobriety, finding passion in your life, disarming things that get in the way, program maturation and, of course, spirituality. When we are caught in addiction, we stop growing, we get stuck and stay stuck. Our commitment to doing life without addiction has catapulted us into something unexpected.

Radiant Living will allow you to share a dialogue with others people who are asking the same questions and exploring answers boldly and with the humility that comes with doing the food.

If you would like to join us in Radiant Living, come find us here


**Entitlement and Blame**

Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

Many people ask me how they *know* that they are on step 7. Is it a date, hit detox, and then wham, there you are? Is it having a perfect program, every step clean and organized and sorted? How can someone on Step 7 muck around or be sloppy with the food journal? Do they have to revert? If they wobble, do they *lose* their status?

Now, what I am going to say here may surprise you. But step 7 is really about a state of being rather than a destination. Step 7 is affectionately called the *getting a life* step, but really, that hardly defines it. It is about how you meet the world and it is radically different from how the world was before you started the program. Let me walk you through the transformation.

I know from lots and lots of experience that the hallmarks of untreated sugar sensitivity are what I call entitlement and blame. We feel done unto. My husband, my boss, my mother, my children, my life, my stress, my health *made me*. You feel victimized by circumstance. It made you be this way. If he hadn't....I wouldn't be this way. You do not take responsibility for what happens around you because you do not feel empowered. You feel helpless in the face of things happening. And you blame the outside world for things not working.

At the same time, because you feel victimized you feel you are entitled to things. Well, I deserve to be...because..they owe me. Often this is the company owes me because I am poor and work hard and they make lots of money. I hear this as I deserve to not have to pay for the program because I am poor and am entitled to it for free.

These feelings, are biochemically induced. Now, that sounds pretty outrageous doesn't it? However, these are the very feelings that change with the program. Working with your journals helps you to see connections, and something called consequence. If I eat this, this happens. No one does it to me. There is a connection between what I do and what happens. You start making little connections..and over time they grow. As you get more steady, you can make more powerful connections.

Yes, my husband is abusive, but I stay here. Things like that. You start seeing yourselves as players rather than victims. And even more striking, when people critique you, you have this remarkable detachment. You take what is real, own it and are even grateful for the feedback rather than being devastated by it. For example, early in the program, if I offer a suggestion, not even a critique, but a simple reflection that perhaps eating a potato the size of a football might not be the best option, the person who started the program 3 days ago is either brushed or outraged that I do not understand their special situation and they go off in a huff or unsubscribe from the program for a year. If I say that to a person in balance, they say *Oh my, whatever was I thinking about. Thank you.*

I listen for this change. Sometimes it comes early. But most often it is the change that tells me most about Step 7 consciousness. One of my leadership people makes a mistake. We have a code for mistakes called the FANTASTIC! code. They say, *Oh fantastic, let me go clean that one up*. We laugh and it is no bigger than an error to be corrected. Or someone wobbles, and I say, *Hey, how about a sabbatical while you steady up there?* and they say...*yah, yah, let me go catch my breath and tighten up my plan. My timing is off, I am eating out too much.* And they do. Now let me tell you, working and playing with people in this energy is beyond comparison.

You all feel it drifting through. Those of you on the more senior lists drink from the well. Those of you just starting know this is what you want. This is part of radiance, this humor, this joy, this resilience. It is way more than no longer yelling at your kids. It is getting a life. No more blame, lots of taking responsibility. No more entitlement, just humble willingness to work, show up and participate. Pretty nice from where I sit.


Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them.

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Until next time!
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Gretel, our webmaster, puts it all together.
David runs the Radiant Recovery Store.
Mosaic contributes to the Notes from the Forum column.

2015 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction.

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