Hi {!firstname_fix}

Don’t forget we have three classes starting up Monday. If you come right now, sign up, then immediately return the invitation email to join the group through which the class will be conducted, we can fit you in...

Learning About Depression
Brain Chemistry Serotonin: Week 2 of 2 (must have taken Week 1)
Restart: Getting Motivated - Level 2 (must have taken Motivated - Level 1 class first)

The Depression class will give you a sense of the biochemistry of depression and what the alternatives are in helping to heal it.

We have posted a schedule of the classes for the next month. Check it and see if there is something you like. If there is something you would like and don't see it, let me know. I will doing a class on shame to follow up on last week’s YLD chat. Remember to go ahead and sign up for something if you are interested. We are making the decisions about when to schedule based on how the registrations are going.

Please feel free to pass this week's newsletter on to your friends and family. Don't forget to let me know what you like and would like to see me cover.

A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www. radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter. If you wish to unsubscribe, use the link at the bottom of the page. Do not email me, do not get mad at me, just click on the link and you will be forever removed.

And be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery® website and Community Forum regularly.

Warmly,
Kathleen

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February 7, 2005
** Quote From Kathleen **

You are telling your body it is important. You are noticing what you are eating and what you are feeling.

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** Testimonial for the Week**


Here are some reflections from one community member about the changes experienced since starting the program.

I think I've always been depressed. I remember my Mom worrying about it even before I was in first grade. As an adult, I had vicious rages; I was depressed; I was wildly high and outgoing. My mood could swing from manic to depressed within 30 minutes. I never got a diagnosis as bipolar, but DH has, and I am pretty similar to him in many ways. I've taken Prozac for twelve years. When I stop taking the medicine (because I `forget'), I get rapid cycling mood swings. I get absolutely paralyzed and unable to think or act or do anything other than sit and cry and drink and sleep or pass out.

I had drug and alcohol problems before I was a teenager. At 21, I stopped taking illegal drugs (I was in the Soviet Union for 2 months and never started up again when I returned.) From then on I just drank and drank and drank.

I started SARP in mid-August. Within a week, just by doing breakfast, I felt better -- a lot better. I actually smiled sometimes. I started being almost cheerful at work. I was calmer. I reduced my alcohol consumption.

For the two years before SARP, I had been eating adequate protein & lots of veggies, but low carb (Protein Power), and six mini-meals per day, a leftover from my weight-lifting days. So I ate no browns, and artificial sweeteners were OK. I started out by adding refried beans to my breakfast of eggs, meat, and low-carb fruit, and making sure that I had it within the hour. I ventured into a piece of toast, then two. I tried George's shake, and learned that I despise oats. I joined the BF list and listened to suggestions and stayed focused on BF when I was told that I was getting off course. I found what worked and what didn't so far as breakfast foods. I tried to follow directions as best I could.

I'd been journaling previously, on the computer. I had to start doing it by hand, and when I used the Your Body Speaks format, I started to make more connections between food and mood than ever before.

One newsletter told me not to be a drama puppy. I remember that as a turning point. I started to get over myself, to stop acting up, to just sort of do what I was supposed to be doing and have a sense of humor about me most of the time.

Then came the time to start Step 3. I couldn't move alcohol to meals. I was drinking about 10-12 units of alcohol per day before SARP (I blacked out every night), then about 6 units per day after I started having a program breakfast, and 24-30 units per day on the weekends.

So I joined the recovery list. I tried to listen and follow directions there, even though I was really mush-brained and spazzing out and generally a mess. Kathleen tried to talk me into detox treament, then to help me taper, but I blew it, then I just quit cold-turkey and gave Kathleen and Gretel fits for five days.

For the first 30 days of not drinking I slept constantly. It was really interfering with life. I felt like s__t, mentally and physically. I was reluctantly going to AA but it sure wasn't working very well. The recovery list was my true meeting and support. I clung to it by my fingernails. I prayed to God and I read the Big Book. I worked Step 3 as best I could. I tried to eat bananas (blech!). I grew attached to having a candy bar at lunch every day. I occasionally binged on sweets in the evening or on the weekends. This was roughly how the month of October went.

As soon as I got 30 days sober I fell apart. I had a consult with Kathleen around that time. I took out that lunchtime candy bar and the whole thing unraveled. Who knew that a candy bar could be a lynch pin? I binged. I drank. I didn't journal. I skipped some breakfasts.

But the funny thing was that I didn't drink hard like before. I usually had 2-4 drinks and then didn't want any more. Many nights I didn't want to drink at all. And that was basically how November and December went. I was sort of in limbo, neither healing nor returning to the full extent of my addiction to alcohol.

On January 3rd I dug my heels in and began to work hard. Since then I have only recorded one food binge and no alcohol. I occasionally have a sweet after a meal, but there's no pattern to it. My step 3 is pretty solid, and if it's in place all day long, I `get' to have 1 oz. of potato. I take the vitamins every day and eat very little whites, so I'm doing well, sort of Steps 3-5 all at once but gradually and mainly focused on Step 3.

I feel better emotionally than I ever remember feeling in my whole life. More steady, less mood swings, hardly any violent rages, less vicious depressions. I often feel happy, calm, centered, content, all kinds of nice feelings.

SARP has turned me into a miracle poster child for the program. The difference from six months ago is compelling. It is a simple program but it's not easy. It's easier if you go slow and take your time on each step. It's well worth it to cultivate the patience that this requires. I have no idea if I will ever do Step 6. The thought of taking coverts out really makes me nuts. Perhaps that will change in time.

I wish my DH could experience this. I wish everyone could experience this. I hope you are experiencing this.



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**Recipe of the Week**


I just love green beans, they have to be my favorite vegetable. Hope you enjoy them, too!

Sesame Green Beans

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add the green beans and cook, uncovered, until crisp-tender, 3 to 4 minutes. Drain and set aside. In a large bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients until well blended. Add the green beans and toss to combine well. Season to taste with freshly ground pepper.

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**Your Last Diet: More Than What You Think**


I recently had some feedback from someone who wondered if Your Last Diet really *works*. I think they asked that because we de-emphasize the weight loss part so much. Yes, it works. And especially, it works with folks who are very insulin resistant and who have tried every diet on the planet. Here is a quote from someone who is in the *serious weight loss* group - the group for the folks who have to work hard at it. See what you think.

Hello friends,

It has been quite a while since I checked in with you folks. It was not because I wasn't following the plan or had lost interest. Life was unusually stressful from early Dec to the present and I have been putting "stress management" at the top of my agenda. I continue to be absolutely in awe of what Kathleen has discovered. I feel I have found "my home" - a place where I feel at peace with my body. I weighed myself today for the first time in 2 months - I have lost 10-12 pounds since starting on this journey with you. And, more importantly, I feel so good in my body. I've read with interest what some of you have been saying about the loss of emotional energy around weight loss. This feeling of being OK with where I am now - no, not just OK, but radiant - is incredible.

So here are a few specifics:
  1. Meditation has become my new "chocolate". I crave it and cherish the time I spend. It brings me much joy and contentment. I'm doing it once a day, 20 minutes in the AM.
  2. I'm buying beans and potatoes from Wood Prairie Farm here in Maine (thanks for the tip Kathleen). Most meals are around beans as the grain. And I'm eating so many more vegies. I continue to avoid wheat like the plague - I'm noticing that cornmeal has to go as well.
  3. I'm walking, snowshoeing, or cross country skiing with my dogs for 30-60 minutes 3-4 times a week. I'm learning to schedule my work so that this time is possible.
  4. I continue to minimize salt, although I notice some days I crave it. Wonder why when I get headaches, then have some homemade popcorn with sea salt, my headaches go away? I'm in the midst of pretty good hot flashes right now in the menopause changes.
Click here if you are ready to change your life or just plain ole have fun.
 


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**Radiant Ambassadors**


I wanted to share with everyone that a writer for the healthy lifestyles column for the St. Louis Post Dispatch (Metro Newspaper) is writing an article about my recovery, weight loss and my doing this program. I met the woman at a Flylady meeting and we have talked twice and she has started to write my story. I have lost 61 lbs. on the program so far and feel that this program is giving me my life back as I was very sick just one year ago. This will be a great way to get the word out about the program and I am pleased that my progress is considered noteworthy enough to be written about in a newspaper.

Carol

If you love the program and want to learn to share the word more effectively, consider joining the ambassador group. We are having some much fun learning from one another.

If you haven't gotten any cards to pass out yet, order them now. They are free! It is a great way to spread the word.

Come find us among the Online Groups


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**David's Corner **

 


Here is a note we got about one of the new CDs. I think she tells the power way better than I could.

I just got Kathleen's CD (talking about the warrior spirit) in the mail today . It touched me deeply!

It was actually really fitting to what I recently posted (the story of healing) and mentioning that we are often scared of our own power, our own radiance.

It also talked about the community "getting something", the accumulative bigger picture. And because it's gotten, it's talked about!

It is time to let go of all the shame we have in our bodies. It is time to set a new standard of living in our bodies!

I absolutely loved it, tears rolling down my cheeks, it touched me so (in a beautiful, not a sad way!..lots of love, lots of beautiful potential).

Thank you Kathleen for talking from your heart! And yes, I will follow into a new way of supporting each other. Living beautifully in the body that represents us. Learning to feel connected and comfortable in being emotional, sensual and spiritual in the body. And loving every radiant minute!... and even the not so radiant ones! For there is no turning back. The decision has been made : been there, done that, did not work, won't do it again!

Wishing everybody the warrior spirit Kathleen talks about,
with love Nadia.

Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.

Thanks
David

And of course, we have something for everybody in our store


 
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**Our Online Groups**


Hi, I'm Mary-Margaret, better known as MM, and I'm the volunteer liaison for the RR12step group. . I had been sober with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous for 18 years when I arrived here a little over 2 years ago. Thanks to an enlightened counselor at the beginning of my sobriety, the first 12 years or so were relatively happy and mainly sugar free. Then an accident, and a slide back into sugar and junk food addiction, with the resulting mood swings, poor physical health, and a deep depression. This program not only saved my life, but has given me a life beyond my dearest held dreams, those Promises in the Big Book are felt at a much deeper level with my biochemistry straightened out. Totally amazing to me.

On the 12step list we have members of all the various 12step programs, and we discuss our RR program. Some of us are just starting out, some have been on step 7 for a while, and others are still in the middle. I think it's so cool because we all have that commonality of the 12step language and background. We don't need to feel shy about quoting one of the slogans, or talking about how the RR program is helping us with our 12step program. So, please, any 12steppers out there, do come join us. We'd love to have you.

Warmly,
MM

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** Featured Topic**
How Shame Drives Your Program
Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

In last week’s chat, I talked about the power of shame. I thought it would be fun to share a little of that with all of you. I asked folks to think about the thing they were more ashamed of in their lives. Then I asked how that image made them feel. Almost everyone described feeling sick to her stomach. This is a big clue. A VERY big clue. If you have something that makes you feel sick to think of it is a crucial part of your life. You spend a lot of energy to stay away from those feelings. Make a list of the things that are sitting there eating away at you...

These things can be your debt, your unpaid bills, your credit report, the people you hurt, the affair you had, the things you took, being fat, bingeing, purging, compulsive sex, the way you hide food and eat it in the car so no one knows, computer porn, gambling and a thousand other things. Think of the points of shame as little black holes that suck your energy. And dealing with them seems impossible. They are too big, too bad, too horrible, horrible to even look at, let alone heal.

Shame is about hiding. And when you hide, the energy flows into the black hole so you procrastinate. You put the bills in the drawer. You say I will start a diet on Monday or my birthday or the first of the year. You hide the feelings of your inadequacy.You never, ever tell the depth of the repulsion and disgust about how you look. You literally *suck it up* which means, you pour your energy down into the black hole.

Now there is a reason for this. Mostly you are around people who add to the shame. You KNOW that they will think badly of you. If you ever really knew....and you find the people or the institutions who reinforce that message so by the time you are grown ups, you are pretty well entrenched with the hiding.

However, here is the irony. Whatever you think is the worst is usually the most shared. Think about the relief you felt when you connected with the community and discovered thousands of people who hid the candy wrappers under the top pile of the trash or who threw the vodka bottle on someone else’s lawn. We are able to talk about the shame of being fat or being out of control with the food. But we still hide the other stuff.

However, it really is no different. Comes from the same place. But old patterns get etched in. And they stay to reinforce your belief that at core you really are a bad person. You aren’t really a bad person at all, you may have some grimy stuff to clean out. But it is no different than a grimy barn. It just feels that way.

SHAME=HIDING
HIDING=PROCRASTINATION
PROCRASTINATION=SHAME

It is a circle that goes round and round. And there is a way out.

ACCEPTANCE = DISCLOSURE
DISCLOSURE = MOBILIZATION
MOBILIZATION = ACTION

When we talked about this in chat, several people wondered about how to know what appropriate disclosure might be. Part of being sugar sensitive is either never telling or telling way too much. As you do the food, you begin to learn little bits in the right place. You share in places where you will not be judged or put down. You share with people who understand and do not reinforce your shame patterns.

As you do this, something incredible happens. The energy that has been going into the black hole comes streaming into your life. Everything is different. And then the lightness you feel goes into the other places. Click, click, click one at a time, the places of shame can be healed.

It may take a while to get the power of this. But once you do, nothing is the same.

©Kathleen DesMaisons 2004.

Here are the folks who are helping put the newsletter together:

Gretel, the liaison for the recovery list and the webmaster puts it all together
JoAnna, the liaison for vegetarians gathers the testimonials
Naomi, the liaison for Yisroel gathers the recipes
Terri, the liaison for Ambassadors sends over the ambassadors quote
Marie, the liaison for diabetes gathers the info on the online lists
David, who runs the Radiant Recovery® Store talks about what new products we have.