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July 11, 2016

Hi {!firstname_fix}

What a week this has been. Trying to make sense of the *world* has been very, very hard. I thought all the political stuff was impossible and stuff just kept rolling in and my mind just went on off. I decided to finish cleaning the old metal shed in the back. It was the *worst* of the outbuildings. Workers tend not to take care of things so stuff was just stuffed back in. Who knew what scary things lay inside. The first task was to pull it out and see.

Round one meant bring the trash can with wheels from the front all the way to the back. We filled it with unidentified objects or things that were ripped and torn. Then we sorted into piles: things to take to the scary potions recycle (like old paint things, even Roundup from years ago before I knew), things to recycle, things to keep, things to fix and things to think about. David took 25 cans of assorted stuff to the scary potions place. I folded up tarps and made a list of things for free cycle. We put the free cycle stuff on the front porch. We put the sort stuff on the table in the back under the portal.

Then it got really, really hot. I posted stuff on freecycle and all of it got taken, one person at a time. Today, while it was cool in the morning, I went out and sorted the stuff on the table: painting stuff, plaster repair stuff, tools, a come along and a heavy chain, and more like this. The things we will use, I organized and put into bins, the stuff not needed went out to the porch for more freecycle. I glued a broken chair. I swept the porch. I wiped down the table and then got Simple Green and washed it. I put the can of grill cleaner underneath the grill. I put the tools in the toolbox in the tool shed. It got hotter and I was sweating, it was like tears flowing.

And when I was done, the shed is clean and organized, the back patio is clean and I can eat out there, 15 people are happy with *treasures* they needed and I felt as if my little world is ok. I can't make order of Dallas, or Baghdad or Minneapolis today, but I can make order in my heart. I can make noodles tonight and eat good food and pack my bags to go to Maine. I can go to Maine and be cool and write and paint and meditate and rest from holding all this. I learned that somehow *doing the food* is a spiritual tool I have learned. One nano step after another. Rest when it is too hard, take a walk, take a shower, start with the easiest and just keep going. And finding trust and hope again.


We have gotten Euroranch for the Fall all settled now. We are going back to the Red Lion Inn - a smaller room, a simpler protocol. The room holds 20, we have 15 signed up. You might think about coming this year. It is a special price, the dollar/pound is a bargain for us this year. Salisbury is a healing place. You can come to the Cathedral, you can see an original copy of the Magna Carta and you can connect with a group of amazing people from the UK and Europe. See the details on the Seminar page.

This class will begin Wednesday, July 13, 2016. Please Signup and it will take you to the registration page:

Using Radiant Resources

This FREE class will teach you all the ins and outs of the resources in the community. You will learn to navigate the community forum, learn how to use the resource center, check out Radiant Ranch, and learn your way around the website. You will be on your way with an invaluable resource in your pocket!

This class will begin Friday, July 22, 2016. Please Signup and it will take you to the registration page:

Clearing All That Clutter

A FOCUSED, quick and dirty support to getting your house, your yard, your closets, your life, your soul all cleaned up. This will be a funny, playful way to look at the scary corners filled with 15 spice jars, cosmetics pots of face cream, tools or old sheets that you might need someday.

We will have 2 sections of this class - one for people just starting to learn the process and one for people who have taken the class before and want to go deeper. You too can clean your scary sheds! Make sure to indicate whether you are new or returning when you sign up, so we can get you in the right section.

Check the class list page for more information on how the classes work. See the the Class Schedule here.

Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly.



**Quote From Kathleen**

Being steady means being firm, unfaltering, unflappable and unwavering. Being steady means driving in cruise control.


**Testimonial of the Week**

Sunday I had the house to myself because the daughters went to the beach. When Cathy (the older one) came by to pick up Margie, she found us in the middle of a hilarious discussion. Margie was doing her comic routine and mimicking again.

This time she was mimicking what happens when her friends come over after school and look in the fridge for something to eat. Inside are either whole-foods ingredients like kale and unflavored yogurt, or strange-looking leftovers (my spinach-and-pumpkin quiche). She says they say, "Oh I'm not that hungry" and then close the door. So then they roam to the pantry and what is there are things like canned salmon, turmeric and two-year-old coconut milk from some experiment I planned. So the friend gets this sad look on her face and leaves the kitchen.

So then Cathy comes in and said she dropped by the other day to raid the fridge and hm, that pumpkin pie looks good - but why does it have green in it!!! eeew!!

They laughed their heads off. But then we talked about how different it is to do homemade whole foods as opposed to having convenience food around all the time.

And then we did some problem solving so Margie could feel like a better hostess. We came up with nuts, fruit, HFS chips and salsa, good PB and J, good sandwiches. Margie asked how she could recognize "healthy" alternatives of things to have so we talked just a little about labels. This is a big deal because she hates with a passion when I read labels too much while shopping.

Too funny.



**Notes from the Forum **

This is from June 16th:

It is very early morning. The sky is light, and the trees are still dark. There is a hot-air balloon passing by outside. It is dark enough that I can see the flames flicker when they turn on the burner. The edge just over the mountain is turning red.

I am torn about going back to bed for another hour because it is so cool at this time in the morning. The dogs are snoring, so clearly they think it is still sleep time. And the birds are still asleep except the peacocks who are screaming for love.

Everything is so quiet. And then, the adolescent coyote is making his way across the naturalized yard in front of the house across the street. A quiet time....he is probably out looking for young bunnies who don't know better.

What a gift this morning is.

And then this morning:

I went on a hunt to get some breakfast this morning. Turned a corner and there was a hot-air balloon right in the middle of the street - had just touched down. So I sat and watched them figure out how to get the air out. That is an intriguing process all right. Took about 15 min. Then I went back to the hunt. Two blocks later, another balloon right in a cul de sac. I think that crew was not as practiced. They just sort of munched it up.

This is Albuquerque on early Summer mornings.



**Radiant Recovery® Store**

Many people have asked me about Omega 3 fatty acids and the value of taking fish oil. I asked Kathleen to write something for all of you. Click here to read her suggestions. And, of course, we carry great fish oil options.

Epa capsules are a concentrated, odor free, certified heavy metal option for adults. They allow you to get more concentrated EPA without extra Vitamiin A.

We have DHA for those of you who are pregnant or nursing. DHA is the fatty acid that is used to make your baby's brain. It is very important in the first three years of life.

And we also carry a very tasty cod liver oil (yes, it IS tasty!) for those of you would like to just put it in your shake or who need a larger dosage. Kathleen gives this to her dogs as well and they have NO skin problems. CLO is a great alternative for those of you who are in perimenopause and may be dealing with heavy bleeding. (sorry for a guy to speaking of a delicate subject). Ask Kathleen for more information on that one.

Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.


**Radiant Kitchen**

With the hot weather, I love to make cold salads. This is one of my favorites from the Radiant Recovery Cookbook.

  • 3 c. cooked chicken, cubed
  • 3 hard-boiled eggs, chopped
  • 1 1/2 c. sugar-free mayonnaise
  • 1 Tbsp. curry powder or to taste
  • 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
  • 1/2 c. fresh orange segments
  • 1/2 c. sliced scallions
  • 1/2 c. sliced black olives
  • 1/2 c. chopped cilantro
  • 1/2 c. chopped pecans or almonds
  • 1/4 tsp. salt or to taste
  • 1/4 tsp. black pepper or to taste
Combine all ingredients. Serve immediately or refrigerate up to 3 days. Good over mixed greens as main course salad or as sandwich filling. For vegetarian version, substitute baked tofu (cubed) or tempeh for the chicken. Makes 4 servings.
For great program-friendly recipes, check out our Cookbook in the store and visit our online Radiant Recipes site.


**Radiant Your Last Diet**

Our discussions in chat have been working the idea of how changing our food changes us. We came in totally focused on wanting to lose weight. We didn't know that healing the addiction would shift so much. Now the weight loss is functional. Once you heal the addiction, then you have the presence of mind to simply do what needs to be done….without fear or angst or obsession. It is so wonderful to have other people who get it and who support you.

If you would like to join us in YLD, come find us here


**Radiant Living**

The comfort of having a place to come for a *spot of tea* and a timely chat is pretty remarkable. Whether it is by a cozy fire or in the garden in the evening or by the sea at dawn…we can make up the images to suit us since we are from all over the world in many times zones. Everyone is welcome, and we love sharing.

If you would like to join us in Radiant Living, come find us here


**Learning Boundaries**

Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

This article will be on the topic of sexual boundaries. This is something that comes with recovery. I don't always share many of our step 7 topics here but my sense is that many of you might feel the subject helps you where you are right now.

A while ago, I was having a conversation with a member of our community about something I had named ”oozy” boundaries. I asked her if I might share some of what started this discussion.

Looking back at my pattern of relationships I've always jumped right from one relationship to another to another... always had something going, especially with people who are actually unavailable.

Last week I caught myself starting to feel super attracted to someone, in ways that I recognized used to spike me big-time (and I can see that, thanks to The Food). Only this time it really spooked me. It caught me off guard and I felt like I needed to take a hard look at the pattern, in the context of my recovery. I don't want to keep trying for relationships that lead to spikes and crashes, and I don't want to keep hooking up (or trying to) with people who are unavailable. I'm thinking that I used to use this new-relationship behavior to get high (and the crashes could be spectacularly awful). There doesn't even have to be any actual sexual behavior going on, just a remote possibility that it could happen.

Anyway I'm having trouble sorting out just how to work on this but I feel like it's something I need to look at if I'm to be really rigorous about that ol' amoeba. I appreciate your reflecting with me about it.
This pattern sounds very familiar. I think it may be more a part of sugar sensitivity than many of us have realized. I think because we often think of sexual stuff as so taboo that we shy from talking about it. We think that our own personal process is a function of our inadequacy rather than a part of our recovery.

I can only share with you what I did in my own healing.

One day, I simply said I wasn't going to do it any more. I *held* my sexual energy in. I did not flirt, I did not play sexual energy games. And, to be perfectly honest, this boundary is what created the energy that took me through graduate school and got me writing. In retrospect, I see that the sexual energy is our core energy. I realize now that squandering it on *play* was pretty silly. It was part of my addiction amoeba. Flirting with *danger,* pushing the edge, creating a rush. All those things are part of seeking a biochemical rush.

So here is the funny part. You started energetically making the commitment to be alone, to be healthy and not be in an unhealthy relationship. Your psyche immediately started *casting*. This is sort of like making a commitment to do the program and craving chocolate the next day.

I think you are onto something in asking these questions. It does not have to be that you are screwed up and that you are once again doing old patterns. You don't need to do a big therapy gig. It is sort of like doing the food. You simply do it. You stick with the commitment.

What does that mean? Just what it means with the food...you don't flirt with overts, you don't flirt with coverts, you read labels and if they contain danger, you set it down.

You can make it really complicated if you want. You can thrash and whine and create drama. You can do what you have always done, or you can do what you have done with the food. You said you wanted to heal and you did what you knew it would take to do that. You trusted those of us who have gone before you and said “I want what you have”.

Sexual energy is one way we express our life, our power, our flow. But there are many ways as well as sexual. My hunch is that you are feeling the streaming. You have always in the past read it as sexual charge. I am not so sure. This may not be about another person, so much as what is happening in you. Your spirit is waking up. Your energy is streaming. And because in the past you have read this as “sexual”, it may seem like that now. I think it is bigger than that.

I totally trust that your recovery is guiding you. You are asking great questions and looking at these issues with a great deal of integrity. I think it is time for you to trust it as well.


Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them.

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Until next time!
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©2016 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction.

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