Jan 29, 2017

Hi {!firstname_fix)

Well, here we are with Newsletter #691. Pretty amazing to think that every week, we have sent out a newsletter, Tonight I watched Madam Secretary, the Vikings and Ancient Aliens. An interesting combination to wind down a very complex week. At the same time, my WhatsApp groups have been filled with images of yummy foods, sunrises, the hills of Scotland and the gyms of NJ.  I cleaned a lot this week, ate meatloaf, had decaf lattes in a tiny coffee shop down near the university. I worked on my new book, and cleaned my office. I raked the back yard because it was dry, sunny and warm. Regular life heals.

My Christmas Cactus, covered in a hundred buds last week is almost ready to flower. it has never, ever flowered in January. it has always flowered on my birthday in November. I am taking it as a sign that it is ready to gift me with its joy.

The new plan for individualized weight loss coaching has morphed into a group that will define itself and move forward with intention.It is a funny combination of people on step 7 and people on *no step yet*...it will be a challenge for m e to make sure everyone is engaged and finding her spot.

And the driving force was what would help me...how could I make this so much fun that I would WANT and LOVE to do it. Then I just let the energy flow through me. As you might guess, this is a good way to get information. Giving Grace space to share usually ends up with great material.

So we will simply move forward with the support and joy that are such a part of what we do.

Don't forget our Spring Radiant Ranch here in New Mexico this May. 

Upcoming Classes

These classes will begin February 1, 2017

Brain Chemistry: Serotonin

Learn all about the "Just Say No!" chemical. Learn how depression may be affected by your diet. Learn how to manipulate serotonin levels safely and with tenderness. A real hands on lesson in feeling better.
Radiant Step 3 Class

You may have thought this was the easiest one and then stumbled some. This class will give you small steps to success. Learn what the most successful members have done to work their way to solid meals, on time, with good foods. This class will give you detailed suggestions to guide you. There is no charge for this class. It will be held right on the Step 3 list.  You do not need to sign up, you simply need to be in the list.

I don't know will happen the following week because I put so much energy into the new class, that I actually forgot Feb 8.

Remember that you are literally learning a new language through your journal. You are going to have to practice to become fluent in body talk

Testimonial of the Week
The food spikes - I have just very recently started to notice how food is related to the spikes throughout the day. Just yesterday I made a conscious decision to lessen the impact of a spike by deciding to wait and have my "sweet fix" until after I had dinner. In the last weeks or so I have slowly been moving sweets into my meals and it has slowly lessened the impact of spikes. I don't feel terrible or super great....I just feel even Steven if that makes sense. I can start to appreciate what food does for my mood and I am excited! I am getting steady slowly. 
Raising the natural state of BE - I am noticing that little sweet joys make me glow. I am starting to appreciate this little glow and how it's slowly raising my BE bar. I'm starting to appreciate "quiet time" and its powers and also the power of walking and how that raises my BE. It's like feeling a soft warm light instead of feeling a jolt of electricity when I get a spike from sugar. 

Kathleen: Time, energy, commitment, diligence build. Sort of like adding one brick of BE at a time.

Yes it does take so much effort to get three meals done for myself and my family. I am starting to see my brick wall of recovery. Every day I carry that heavy brick of commitment and work and lay it down. 

Kathleen: First blood sugar, then serotonin, then BE. BE is like dessert. And long term, when the other two are healed, BE is where the action is.
I think I am in the blood sugar stage. I am starting to have three regular meals with sugar at the meal and not in between. This step is still very shaky though so id say I'm just dipping my toe in the step 3 water right now. 
Radiant Recovery Store
There has been so much press recently talking about *gut health*.

Here is a wonderful option that the folks at Nordic shared with us.. Kathleen tried it and reported back that it is fabulous. Here is her quote:

This is an incredible find for anyone with a unpredictable gut. I have not thought of myself as having GI problems, but I was floored with the positive impact of taking this product. I can well imagine for those of you who struggle with digestive stability these would be fabulous.

Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.  David.

Radiant Kitchen

Sesame Green Beans

2 pounds green beans, stemmed
3 tablespoons sesame oil
1 tablespoon brown rice vinegar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon fresh grated ginger
2 tablespoons sesame seeds
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add the green beans and cook, uncovered, until crisp-tender, 3 to 4 minutes. Drain and set aside. In a large bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients until well blended. Add the green beans and toss to combine well. Season to taste with freshly ground pepper.

 For great program-friendly recipes, check out our Cookbook in the store and visit our online Radiant Recipes site.

Radiant YLD
We are continuing to talk about exercise and the part it plays in losing weight. I found a new study that outlines a rather remarkable idea.  It suggests that the Hunzas walk all day while hunting and  burn the same number of calories as an urban office worker.  Seems like the amount of exercise does not drive weight loss the way we thought it does.  This is the joy of the Your Last Diet program. We keep learning. YLD continues to be a great support for all of us.

The program includes:
  • People who understand and mentor you
  • A dedicated list on Yahoo with my personal participation
  • Access to a dedicated chat. It is held at 2 different times each week so it is accessible to people all over the globe​​​​​​​
  • If you would like to join us in YLD, come find us here
Radiant Living
Some of the old timers wanted to know where to talk about their process of daily living.. They wanted to have a place to share about *life enhancements*. So we set up a new place for conversations. It is kinda the *living step 7* place.

If you would like to join us in Radiant Living, come find us here.

Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

I wrote this is 2004. That was thirteen years ago. I think it is as relevant today as it was then. It is about facing pain, something that many of us have held this week.

I am sorry to bring you another story of grief. But it is funny that I went to the Story of Barney to find the store text for probiotics. Then I read the story of Barney. So we do grief together. As hard as it was, it was practice in doing what you gotta do. It is simply how grief works. We all lose people and things we love. And being willing to feel is part of being in recovery.

Barney showed up in my life about 10 days ago. A shelter in Northern NM had called to ask me to take a young male who was found running on the mesa. I declined because I had 4 dogs already and my rescue pens were full. Three days later, I got a call from a young woman who does rescue up there. She had pulled Barney from the shelter and had him at her house. She loved him. He was loving, sweet affectionate, great with her kids and dogs, and even her chickens. But he did not want to be locked up and kept breaking out. He had ripped all her fencing, and broken down the gates. She had to put him on a chain and she knew that it was not a good solution. She was willing to drive 3 hours to bring him to me. So, of course I said yes.

Barney was wonderful and yep, he was a breakout artist. He ripped out the wire in pen #1, so went to high security which has pig fencing and a dog cannot break it with his teeth. It is also designed so no one can dig out. I noticed when I let Barney be with me and with the other dogs, he calmed down and played and laughed. I figured out that he just did not want to be alone, he wanted to be with his gang. So I rearranged dogs, invited the best, most settled dog in my network to come for a visit, and Barney was in heaven. He had a *pack* and the world was right.

I have another grumpy, old fat guy who snarls at everyone. He got the lock down spot and would do the curl the lip thing and snarl at Barney. Barney just looked at him and said, *Get a grip , dude.* I was looking forward to finding him a loving home. 

Thursday evening, I glanced out the window and saw that Barney was having a pretty major seizure. I went out to get him and it quieted. He was totally disoriented and I had no idea how I could get him to the vet because he was a big guy. He finally stood up and started going in circles. I guided him to the car and drove to the vet. She took him in, and did the standard protocol. Nothing in the blood work to suggest his eating something toxic. After 30 minutes she came back and said, *We need to put him in the hospital so they can stabilize him. I will load him with phenobarbitol and valium. He may have another seizure in the car.*

It is a long drive to the emergency hospital. And yes, he had another seizure in the car. They took him in. The resident came out and went through the long list of possibilities and asked me what I wanted to do. *No MRI, no spinal tap, let's get him stabilized and see where we are in the morning,* I said. The late night doc called me later and said he was still having episodes and she was concerned. In the morning she called and said he was walking, eating, wagging his tail and she was optimistic. Fifteen minutes later, she called back and said he had another major episode.

I knew at this point we were in trouble. I knew that I could not place him with uncontrolled epilepsy. I knew that the bills were mounting and every dollar we spend means it has to be raised. So I made the decision that we would euthanize him. I told her that. She agreed that it seemed to be the right decision. I hung up and felt incredibly sad. She called back in 10 minutes and said they needed a witness to the decision. I decided that I would drive up and sign the papers in person. I did.

While I was sitting in the waiting room, I decided that I would sit with Barney for this passing. He had no one, and it just seemed like the right thing to do. It was part of taking care of my *pack*. I told the receptionist. And I waited and waited. Then they put me in the kill room...I guess they feel that a carpet and upholstered chairs are better than stainless steel and linoleum. The doctor had told me that Barney was under deep anesthesia. They brought him in and set him on the blanket...a white polyester fleece with multicolored flowers. He opened his eyes, wagged his tail and tried to stand up. The doctor seemed like she was 18. I asked her to just let us sit alone.

So I held him and I stroked his head and as I wept over him, I told him that he would be safe. I asked my old girl who had died if she would come for him, show him where the balls were, where the fields were to run in and explain that all wounding would be healed. I told him he was a good boy and that I cherished him. He went to sleep.

The young doctor came back. She explained all the stuff. I wanted her to just shut up. I wanted to tell her that I knew all the process. I just held Barney and he passed. I asked her to leave me alone with him for a while. I turned off the overhead light and simply sat with Barney for a long time. I have been with people who have died. I know that the big soul goes first and the cells are confused. So I told them what had happened. I felt that Josie came for him. I thought about the fact that had he not been with me, he would have died in a ditch on the mesa. Probably his owner knew of the seizures and had simply thrown him out to die.

I have often said that when we experience a grief, we add a bead to a cord of the like griefs. I put the Barney bead on the cord and then touched all the beads before it. My Josie dog, George who committed suicide by alcohol, my mother, my therapist who committed suicide, my father who also drank himself to death. One death gives us all the deaths. And perhaps this heart, opened by a goofy blond boy dog, now could experience those other beads because somehow the recovery had allowed me to FEEL.

I got in the car in so much pain, I thought I could not drive. I wanted to drink, to have a hot fudge sundae, to go shopping, to go to a casino, to have sex, to do almost anything not to have this pain. And somehow in that moment, I realized that this is what it means to be sugar sensitive, to feel so deeply that we do not know what to do with it.

I knew I had to get some lunch. Flying Star has a take out on the way home. I got a grilled cheese sandwich on whole grain bread, and an iced decaf coffee. I ate it. I didn't drink, I didn't have sugar, I didn't do anything but go home and weep. I just waited. I told my dogs that Barney was with Josie. I made a phone call. The next morning I shared in a 12 step meeting. I did what we do in recovery.

And I didn't die. I found that pain would not kill me, it would heal me. This is recovery, this is why we do the food. Why it sustains us, holds us and heals us. It is why we show up for one another, and why we sit with our sisters, our brothers, our friends as we learn this new way. Thank you for being part of my life.

©2016 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction. 

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