I was at a 12 step meeting yesterday and we were talking about step 6 – being entirely willing to have our higher power take away our character defects. In the discussion a lot was brought up about the idea of *holding on* to other stuff even after giving up alcohol or other things. This reminds me of our discussions of the addiction amoeba. What touched me yesterday was the idea of our attachment to things that really are not so useful in our lives.
In the meeting, I commented that misery evokes the exact same brain chemicals that alcohol does and that it is possible to be addicted to misery
I have talked about this concept in many chats and many classes. This idea of addiction to misery is pretty powerful and I thought about it all day. While I was driving in the car, I had this thought float through…*what is it that creates misery in my life?* and I realized that the idea of being fat was a big misery hook. That stunned me. I have thought about why, with all the knowledge I have, have I not taken care of that piece. Granted it took a while to get the elements together and to understand what weight loss means for sugar sensitive people. But I have had the puzzle completed on the dining room table for a while. What was it that kept me from doing rather than just knowing?
What if the misery thing kept me hooked? What if a low lying misery maintenance had become my *go to* default?
Rather a humbling concept I must admit.