Amanda,

I'm so sorry you are having a very hard time right now. Sugar addiction is really a terrible thing and way more serious than most people realize. But you are being very brave in realizing you need help and furthermore you have been doing breakfast! Good work, Amanda.

How long have you been having breakfasts and what are you having?

In the beginning, journaling isn't as scarey as it sounds, it's really just about gathering data about yourself (that you don't have to share with anyone if you don't want to). So much of our healing in this program is about listening to our bodies and learning to care about them (ourselves!). Do you know about the Step 2 list?

Following this program a wonderful adventure and there is so much to learn and so many good people in this community who want to get to know you and be available to assist you whenever we can. I do understand that it looks overwhelming at first - at least it did to me. But it all comes in time.

I think you will find a lot available to you at Ranch this weekend and I am so glad you are going.

And I hope you will keep posting here too.

Joy S

: I am really struggling at the moment.
: Starting this programme seems to
: be the very worst thing I could
: have done at the moment. I went on
: a very low calorie diet in august
: and lost 1 1/2 stone. Couldnt
: stick to it but triied to eat
: healthy and cut out .sugar, whilst
: reading lots about sugar
: addiction. When I read Kathleens
: book I seemed to interpret the
: dont cut out sugar rule yet as you
: need to eat sugar until you get to
: step 6. So it just seemed to give
: me permission to completely give
: into my addiction and eat sugar
: without boundaries. I have now put
: on all the weight I lost and
: another 3lb. Now my addiction is
: in full flow and I just cant stop
: eating especially sugar. I feel
: terrible. I am in terrible pain as
: my knees and back are strugglng
: under the weight, none of my
: clothes fit me. I am struggling to
: walk properly, I know I am a heart
: attack waiting to happen.

: I have been doing breakfast
: religiously, and have all parts in
: place. I have always been terrible
: at journalling so i think i am
: procrastinating about gong on to
: step 2, and then I am scared that
: cos i am not very good or
: consistent at journalling that it
: will take months to get to a stage
: where I lose any of this weight
: and that i am gong to either
: cripple myself or die in the
: process. I know it is all about
: balance and healing but I am
: worried I dont have time.

: It is just like I have swapped the
: alcohol for food and now I am at
: that rock bottom stage where I
: just cant go on any longer like
: this, but I am scared to stop the
: sugar because of what Kathleens
: book says.

: I am just so scared, depressed and
: fed up. I will be at ranch this
: weekend if anyone can help at all.

: Amanda