Hi Ru -
Sounds like there's been a lot going on in your life for a long time! I'm glad to hear you've been doing well with steps 1 and 2. (Best not to rush through them - there's a lot of learning and brain chemical changes happening gradually with each step.) What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had a smoothie with protein powder, banana, almond milk, sweet potato and cocoa.
Marcy

: This has been a long time coming.

: I currently sit in my campus cafe
: area, and have been studying since
: 1:15pm - partly to avoid going
: back home to my boyfriend after a
: nasty argument from last night,
: partly because I feel motivated
: today... I chose to focus on the
: latter. I finally feel motivation
: to get out of bed everyday.
: Despite other, current
: shortcomings happening in my life,
: I still feel able to get out of
: bed and take on the day! How is
: this possible?

: Let me explain.
: I am a 22 years old and in my last
: semester of college. I am about to
: graduate with my bachelor's in
: biology, and have never felt more
: in tune with my body than I have
: been lately.

: I am on week 3 of the Potatoes Not
: Prozac program, after my therapist
: told me twice that I needed to
: "get with it."

: I could go on forever about the
: trials and tribulations of my
: life, from my scarring childhood
: to my pent up anger towards the
: world as a result of chronic
: depression and generalized
: anxiety. But that's not what this
: post is about. Actually, I am
: simply here to express my profound
: gratitude for the insight that
: this program has offered me. To
: say that I feel such relief is an
: understatement. I struggled with
: alcohol abuse for many years,
: which started at the young age of
: 12. I was a hard drinker well up
: until my first year of college.
: After suffering an incredibly
: traumatic experience involving a
: facial injury which resulted from
: the negligence of an intoxicated
: individual, I realized that my
: life needed some changing... my
: attraction towards alcohol has
: since subsided to appreciation for
: an occasional glass of wine or 1-2
: drinks when I am with friends. My
: self-reflection over the past
: couple months made me realize
: something - I had turned to sweets
: and carbs more than ever before...
: I think in part because for so
: many years I turned to alcohol,
: and in part because of all the
: stress I have been under lately. I
: have always had such a sweet
: tooth... but I quickly realized
: that my unhinged binges and
: subsequent self disgust and
: emotional instability needed some
: serious attention. After trying to
: change other negative aspects of
: my life, this unhealthy
: relationship with food continued
: to manifest. Since beginning
: Potatoes, Not Prozac, I feel
: reborn again. My body is thanking
: me for the changes; specifically,
: my heart and soul. This doesn't go
: without saying that I haven't
: relapsed a few times over these
: past few weeks, nor did
: thanksgiving help the situation
: whatsoever. But I have never felt
: FREER than now, and I have control
: again. After procrastinating on
: the food journal, it is the
: current step that I am on. I've
: been sticking with it for 2 days,
: and as was predicted - I am
: enjoying it. I plan to read the
: next step soon, but my personal
: goal is to continue to savor and
: go slow.

: Anyways, I am rambling.... I just
: needed to get my thoughts out and
: I have pondered a few times as to
: whether this forum is the place to
: do it. It feels good to share my
: story with people who understand
: what I am going through and how
: this liberation feels. I look
: forward to checking out this forum
: more, and I want to again express
: my profound gratitude for the
: control that this program has
: restored in my life.

: -Ru