Two weeks ago in the Newsletter the moderators posted an archived message from Kathleen. I had seen and read this message before but this time it resonated with me in a whole new way. What is it doesn't have to be hard? That question has been milling around in my mind since that posting.

What if breakfast does not have to be hard?
What if my job does not have to be hard?
What if exercising does not have to be hard?
What if my marriage does not have to be hard?

This last one has caused me the most pause. My marriage has been hard since the beginning. We have only been married for about six years but it has been hard from before the first day. We each have had previous marriages. We each have kids from those previous marriages. We knew each other and dated in college and have come back together after 25 years apart living hard lives.

What if this doesn't have to be as hard as we have made it?

This question, like the program, looks simple. But is really very deep and profound.

What if it is hard because I am making it hard?
What if I just put down the conflict and love my best friend?
What if our kids know we love them regardless of the fact that our marriages did not work out?
What if...?

I would welcome thoughts. I am not sure how to move on with letting it be not hard. I have created such a deeply ingrained thought pattern and habitual way of behaving. I am not totally sure how to move on with not hard.

Thank you for letting me process here.

Donna