*cool wavy pattern in grass growing in a field that I could look down on from the freeway
*lots and lots of hummingbirds at our feeders
*cuddling with my dog

This spring I had a couple of physical problems that interfered with my regular exercise, and I gained a couple of pounds. It's not a big deal, and will probably come off eventually now that I'm getting back to regular exercise, but one consequence is that my jeans are not comfortable. I wore them to work a few times on casual Friday, and after lunch all I could think about was changing into stretch pants. So this week I decided to buy a pair of jeans in the next size up. I buy my jeans at Costco, but it's kind of hit or miss what sizes they will have. Sometimes they have a wide variety of sizes, and sometimes they don't. This time they had only size 8 and size 16. I needed size 10 (they had one pair but they were 10 short and I need 10 average.)

Back before the program, I would have gotten really upset, and taken it as a personal affront. I remember getting really upset once when the store was out of my laundry detergent, and thinking it was just one more piece of proof that the universe was against me. (I was a major low BE drama queen.) In the case of the jeans, I found it sort of amusing that they had only those two sizes, and only very slightly annoying that I couldn't get jeans. There are two more Costcos in my area, so I figured we could try a different one next time we shop.

Today is jeans day again, and I tried the tight jeans on again. They felt a tiny bit better than the last time I tried them, but I knew that after eating lunch, I would be miserable. Then I remembered that I had another old pair of jeans somewhere in my closet. I couldn't remember what size they were, but I decided to find them and see if they would work. They are short, so I only used to wear them in the summer with sandals. I found them, and there was another pair on the same hanger that I didn't remember. I put that pair on, and they are totally comfortable, even though they are supposedly the same sizes as the ones that are tight. Now I'm glad that Costco didn't have my size, because I didn't have to buy new jeans after all.

I've been doing the program for a long time, so those crazy pre-program days seem very far away, but every once in a while I get a memory of how I would have reacted to something in the past, and wonder how I ever managed back then. That doesn't mean I never react to things now, but at least my reactions don't include crazy thoughts about being cursed or doomed and life being totally stacked against me.

Allison