Hi Allison, SJD and mosaic
Thank you so much for your replies, very helpful and much appreciated.
I found my voice again with another friend this week who was going to put 50g of sugar in the salmon sauce, I asked her not to and she agreed!
Finding my confidence with the support of RR
Fiona

what a fantastic story Fiona, I feel
: so pleased for you finding your
: voice - yes its a very big deal
: indeed.

: also that ability to ignore or
: disregard a comment you don't like
: Huge !

: I was all prepared to take bits and
: bobs to SIL over xmas, she still
: hasn't got the hang of me and
: panics and phones all the time to
: see if I will eat the gravy etc,
: which is sweet of her really.
: Well, its a lot to remember., if
: you are a white things/sugar eater
: as its not always apparent whats
: in what. Afterwards I thanked her
: and said, Lovely dinner, all my
: favourite things! and she was so,
: so pleased at having catered for
: me

: It is easier for me tbh as we only
: seem to socialise with people I
: know well, with an acquaintance it
: would be more difficult to be
: sure, but experience of eating
: round a table and choosing does
: help, so if I encounter a future
: experience it wont be as daunting
: I hope.

: I remember once I was given a sunday
: dinner all plated up, with things
: I didn't like and I wasn't asked,
: I remember every detail and still
: have nightmares about it
: because at the time I just ate it
: to be polite

: I wonder what I would do now? I know,
: 'polite' out of the door but
: there are ways of being direct yet
: tactful , I would have phoned
: beforehand I know, because
: forewarned is best but if not I
: would be in the kitchen demanding
: , and grinning and saying Haha, I
: am such a fusspot! and they would
: think weird, probably, but I would
: be happy

: Really love your " gently
: assertive "