: Hi everyone
: After really committing to RR for a: long while I’ve just spent a few: weeks ‘in the wilderness’ having a: bit of a crisis.
: Part of it has been about a lack of purpose and meaning in my life.
: Having children hasn’t worked out: for me; I’m dealing with this but: at times I feel very: directionless.
: Also I see so much suffering in the: world. I feel selfish and self: absorbed spending time, energy and: effort on what I am eating. (and: a nonsugar sensitive friend said: something like this to me).
: And I felt very resentful about all: the things I ‘couldnt’ eat, went: out and bought them all, ate them, and now I feel really rubbish.
: So I’ve been struggling.
: I also joined a well known slimming: club out of desperation. That: hasn’t worked for me.
: I know I’m in the right place here.
: I’m grappling for answers. I ’ll: keep going.
: Thanks for reading.
: Fiona R: s7(

Fiona,

I am very glad you wrote. I think this process is a very normal part of our recovery.
Here is my hunch about what happened.
We start to do the food, diligently and with an open heart. And for many, many years
we have been conditioned that *success* means weight loss. And in this program, weight
loss comes down the line, after we are steady.
But the drum being of we are fat, we are bad lingers underneath everything. soooo, we start a slimming thing,
doesn't matter whether it is aerobics or running or swimming, and the brain from the past kicks in
and we start eating less because of course, that will help lose weight.

So then we really aren't doing the program anymore but we think we are and the program isn't working: s1(
Then we go back to feeling sorrow, pain, inadequacy. And those non-sugar sensitive people tell us we are self-absorbed and
to just buck up and get it together.

And then, of course, the logical thing is to poison ourselves with every possible *treat* we can think of.

Here is the joyful part. You came back. You shared authentically. The part of you that wants recovery is alive and remembering. She sent you back. We totally understand. We have all been there and are thrilled you made it back!!!

And the sorrow about the children os real grief. Be tender with it, it is a big deal.

Breakfast, work on breakfast. Have fun. Move a bit, have fun. Keep writing.

Love,

Kathleen