hugs to you Fiona.. my heart went out to you on your grieving over children. Huge big thing....
I can offer that my grieving over some things has been easier, knowing about food and my brain chemicals. its being able to engage with it and acknowledge it I think, and a degree of acceptance of some things rather than 'switching off and getting on' for me

ah the diversions Actually I think its a bit handy I had a lot of testing of things. Does this still make me feel bad ? ( I know it will but Maybe im cured!) oh ………….. yes it still does. its a bit of a reinforcement, in the end. Makes life stronger

weight loss? Took me awhile to work my kinks out and looking back on this type of experience in retrospect was beneficial. Everyone unique I guess ( But as in individually not terminally haha after some good eats )

I think you are doing rather well, discovering all your stuff