*a red-winged blackbird flying across the road with nesting material in its feet
*a soaring Swainson's Hawk turning just enough to show the pattern on its underside
*blooming day lilies and hollyhocks in my garden

The last month or so has been really hard. Lots of stress at work, and I have been feeling uninspired. This is my hawk nest monitoring season, which usually brings me joy, but this year a lot of the nests have failed. So I've just been plugging along, doing my food, because I know that if I do that, things will eventually get better. I've also been working on going to the gym regularly.

The other day when I was listening to satellite radio in my car, the DJ happened to announce that they had a temporary special channel for my favorite band, The Dave Matthews Band. When I lived in the Boston area, I used to go see them in concert every summer and every winter when they would tour. The last couple of years, I went to see both shows in the summer and winter, because they do different sets each night. Then I moved to New Mexico, and they have only come here once in the past 13 years. Anyway, I switched to that channel, and they announced that they would be broadcasting a live concert every Friday night, and the one that Friday would be from the venue where I used to go see them in the Boston area. So last Friday, I went straight home from work, and turned on the satellite radio unit we have attached to our stereo. When the concert came on, I cranked up the volume, stood between the speakers, and closed my eyes and went to the concert. I could feel the music in my body. I danced and sang just the way I would have if I'd been there. It was wonderful. Next year I have to go to a concert, either in Colorado, or maybe I will go visit my family and see one in Boston.

Interestingly, I had been wanting to get back to my writing (a Buffy the Vampire spin-off that my friend, her husband and I started back in the late 90's and which I picked up again after years of inactivity) but wasn't getting anywhere, and since listening to the concert I have been writing. I always associate Dave Matthews Band with the stories because I was listening a lot when I wrote my first stories.

We also just recently bought a little Bose speaker that sounds incredible, and I had been doing something else I hadn't done in a while, just listening to favorite songs. I have some that I used to listen to with the stereo turned up. With this little speaker, I can make a playlist on my iPod. (I used to have to pull out a pile of cds or LPs to do this.) I will be working on that in the near future. I usually have music in the background, but this is different - totally listening and getting into the music.

I need to remember that music is a big part of self care for me, and also very important for my creativity. Unlocking my creativity is really important for my well-being.
Allison