It is very still outside tonight. I am sitting looking at the moon. I have been doing a lot of reflection. Why is it that some folks come to the program, do the food and find their lives changed? And others play with it, poke around, do a little here and there, and then go away and say it doesn't work? Or do step one for two years and wonder why life is not better? Why do some decide to rewrite it, adapt it, take only what they like and throw the rest away?
What makes the difference? I am thinking that there are three key things:
- You have to trust it
- You have to commit to it
- You have to persist in doing it
When you are out of control and desperate, trusting, committing and doing seem really, really far away and really hard. You are likely to argue, question and want answers to every possible concern before starting. You want to see if it will work, try it out, have a money-back guarantee. You want to play without obligation. You might be too busy, too committed to other things, you might not want someone to see your journal or know your life is out of control.
When you find it takes time, you get bored, frustrated, angry, inattentive or sloppy. You blame the program for not meeting your needs. Or it is too confusing so you stop and say that didn't work. And you go do a real diet.
But there are others who say, 'Yes, this is for me' and they believe it, they do it and it works. What is that about? What happens? Where does that first trust and commitment come from? It is funny to think this, but I think ultimately, it is an act of faith. With a regular diet, you can pick or choose. There are thousands of them. If one doesn't work, you just try another. This silly program is different. It's so simple, it is so deceptive. It asks you to put aside what you have been taught. It asks you to do maintenance first. No glamor, no quick results, no hype. It says what you need to heal is here. If you want to use it, you can. Doesn't have to cost anything. You don't need a doc or to pay thousands of dollars. Doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, or smart or not, or living in a family. If you do it, your life will change.
As I wrote this in the morning, I started to laugh because the simplicity of this message goes way beyond the food. I have a spiritual guide. Every morning I meditate and read from her work. This was yesterday's reading:
If however, instead of being desires, they are aspirations for spiritual things, and one continues her life with regular progress, then one is absolutely sure to one day obtain what she has imagined.
I think that the struggle with 'doing the food' mirrors the struggle for a spiritual life. Trusting, committing, doing. Somehow this makes me laugh. I work so hard to complicate things. I thrash around, question, argue, insist that I know better and then I say the 'program' doesn't work.
This time is about quieting, living into the stillness, letting simplicity help me trust, help me recommit. It makes me remember the 'absolute trust in the supreme wisdom of the divine that it knows better than we do what is good for me.'
