Venus rising on a deep blue night with the words Radiant Recovery superimposed on it
Dawn in Albuquerque
This is grace unfolding. You are not alone. Kathleen DesMaisons PhD
Jan 5, 2020, 
 
Hi {!firstname_fix},  
    It has been a few weeks without a newsletter. I am happy to. be back and excited about the number of changes that are planned for the community. I have been doing a class in Your Last Diet. It is really revealing to hear how so many of us have been shaped by cultural expectation of how we should look. We will keep going with the discussion. I think it is really, really important.
    I also doing a class on the step one list. We are looking at the 4 parts of Step One and the rationale behind each one. If you haven't heard this, it is a great tie to stop by for a quick renewal. I have been learning a number of new things that I will be sharing over the next few months.
    I am learning about gene codes and how they affect what we are drawn to eating. I am learning how what I have developed as a healthy intervention for Sugar Sensitive bodies is being born out in new science and why it is important for us. What I have known from my experience in listening to all of you so carefully is now being talked about in scientific discussion. Yes, we are wired differently, yes we respond to sugar and fat different. No, it is not a moral issue. And yes, we gain weight differently. Our thoughts that we could gain weight by looking at a cloud may have basis in our sugar sensitivity. I am putting it together so I can make it clear for you.
    In the meantime, I have a couple of fun suggestions. If you haven't seen Little Women yet, make sure to go. It is a wonderful movie. And I have recently discovered a wonderful series on Netflix called The Repair Shop. I actually feel as if our community is a "repair shop" and the way we bring things back to life is much like what they are doing on the show. If you can find it, watch it. I just love it. It is a nice antidote to watching the news.
 
   I am glad you are here, glad you found us and it is my joy to be in service to to your healing.
   
 
Support for Your Program
Muffins in tin
COMMUNITY CONVERSATIONS
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We have talked about having one place where everyone can talk together. Our move to io is allowing us to set up an easily accessible email list to do this. Conversations can be grouped into topics so you can search for something you are interested in and join in, or you can
start a new topic. This discussion will be held on a list at io. Join it now.

 

People are talking, bring your questions and ideas!.

 

GROUPS
The groups list is up on the web site. If you want to try out the new system, it is super easy. You don't have to get a Yahoo email, you don't have to fuss. YEA! Just sign up for the list you would like to join.
 
JOIN US ON FACEBOOK
If you prefer talking on Facebook, come over to one of our three groups there. Radiant Recovery®, Radiant Recovery® International or Radiant Recovery® Germany  
 
WORKING WITH KATHLEEN 
     Coaching is a special offering for people who are serious about enhancing their programs and would like to have ongoing coaching. Kathleen personally runs the coaching groups.This is not a class but is a process to support your progress. We have added a special chat for people in coaching. It meets twice a week to accommodate those who are in Greenwich Mean Time and those who are in USA time.
    Coaching includes four options now: Return to Radiance Coaching for those who have done the steps in the past and then drifted and would like to get back on track. Skilled Coaching is for people who are steady on the steps and ready to work on Step 7 life skills.  \
 
The fee for coaching is $20 a week, billed in 2 week intervals. If you wish to join sign up for coaching and then we can talk about which section to join.
 
Sign up for group coaching
 
    I also provides individual intensive coaching called Signature Coaching.  It can help you step out of the craziness of sugar addiction, return to steadiness and clarity after slipping away, slow down and focus on your recovery, or deepen a steady rhythm of recovery.
    This is a 3 month process that includes doing an in-depth assessment of where you are in the process, designing an individual plan for you and then meeting once a week via phone or Skype to work on your progress.
     This is the way to step out of feeling overwhelmed with where to start and what to do. Because it is so individualized, we can work on what is right for you at this point in your journey.  People tell me that coaching helps them feel safe and focused. We work with your style, your rhythm. This is a unique opportunity to release your fear and let go of shame.The guidance can shorten and ease your process so that in 3 months you will do what you might take a year to do on your own. 
 
Sign up for Signature Coaching
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"You are telling your body it is important. You are noticing what you are eating and what you are feeling."
 
Testimonial of the Week

 

Here are some reflections from one community member about the changes experienced since starting the program.

 

I think I've always been depressed. I remember my Mom worrying about it even before I was in first grade. As an adult, I had vicious rages; I was depressed; I was wildly high and outgoing. My mood could swing from manic to depressed within 30 minutes. I never got a diagnosis as bipolar, but DH has, and I am pretty similar to him in many ways. I've taken Prozac for twelve years. When I stop taking the medicine (because I `forget'), I get rapid cycling mood swings. I get absolutely paralyzed and unable to think or act or do anything other than sit and cry and drink and sleep or pass out.

    I had drug and alcohol problems before I was a teenager. At 21, I stopped taking illegal drugs (I was in the Soviet Union for 2 months and never started up again when I returned.) From then on I just drank and drank and drank.

    I started SARP in mid-August. Within a week, just by doing breakfast, I felt better -- a lot better. I actually smiled sometimes. I started being almost cheerful at work. I was calmer. I reduced my alcohol consumption.

    For the two years before SARP, I had been eating adequate protein & lots of veggies, but low carb, and six mini-meals per day, a leftover from my weight-lifting days. So I ate no browns, and artificial sweeteners were OK. I started out by adding refried beans to my breakfast of eggs, meat, and low-carb fruit, and making sure that I had it within the hour. I ventured into a piece of toast, then two. I tried George's shake, and learned that I despise oats. I joined the BF list and listened to suggestions and stayed focused on BF when I was told that I was getting off course. I found what worked and what didn't so far as breakfast foods. I tried to follow directions as best I could.

    I'd been journaling previously, on the computer. I had to start doing it by hand, and when I used the Your Body Speaks format, I started to make more connections between food and mood than ever before.

    One newsletter told me not to be a drama puppy. I remember that as a turning point. I started to get over myself, to stop acting up, to just sort of do what I was supposed to be doing and have a sense of humor about me most of the time.

    Then came the time to start Step 3. I couldn't move alcohol to meals. I was drinking about 10-12 units of alcohol per day before SARP (I blacked out every night), then about 6 units per day after I started having a program breakfast, and 24-30 units per day on the weekends.

    So I joined the recovery list. I tried to listen and follow directions there, even though I was really mush-brained and spazzing out and generally a mess. Kathleen tried to talk me into detox treament, then to help me taper, but I blew it, then I just quit cold-turkey and gave Kathleen and Gretel fits for five days.

    For the first 30 days of not drinking I slept constantly. It was really interfering with life. I felt like s__t, mentally and physically. I was reluctantly going to AA but it sure wasn't working very well. The recovery list was my true meeting and support. I clung to it by my fingernails. I prayed to God and I read the Big Book. I worked Step 3 as best I could. I tried to eat bananas (blech!). I grew attached to having a candy bar at lunch every day. I occasionally binged on sweets in the evening or on the weekends. This was roughly how the month of October went.

    As soon as I got 30 days sober I fell apart. I had a consult with Kathleen around that time. I took out that lunchtime candy bar and the whole thing unraveled. Who knew that a candy bar could be a lynch pin? I binged. I drank. I didn't journal. I skipped some breakfasts.

    But the funny thing was that I didn't drink hard like before. I usually had 2-4 drinks and then didn't want any more. Many nights I didn't want to drink at all. And that was basically how November and December went. I was sort of in limbo, neither healing nor returning to the full extent of my addiction to alcohol.

    On January 3rd I dug my heels in and began to work hard. Since then I have only recorded one food binge and no alcohol. I occasionally have a sweet after a meal, but there's no pattern to it. My step 3 is pretty solid, and if it's in place all day long, I `get' to have 1 oz. of potato. I take the vitamins every day and eat very little whites, so I'm doing well, sort of Steps 3-5 all at once but gradually and mainly focused on Step 3.

    I feel better emotionally than I ever remember feeling in my whole life. More steady, less mood swings, hardly any violent rages, less vicious depressions. I often feel happy, calm, centered, content, all kinds of nice feelings.

    SARP has turned me into a miracle poster child for the program. The difference from six months ago is compelling. It is a simple program but it's not easy. It's easier if you go slow and take your time on each step. It's well worth it to cultivate the patience that this requires. I have no idea if I will ever do Step 6. The thought of taking coverts out really makes me nuts. Perhaps that will change in time.

    I wish my DH could experience this. I wish everyone could experience this. I hope you are experiencing this.
 
David Smiling
David, my oldest son, runs our store. He makes sure your orders go out quickly and works with you to find the best things suited to where you are in your process.
This is a great support for those of you dealing with coming off of stimulants for stimulant behaviors.
 

Here is a note we got about one of the new CDs. I think she tells  way better than I could.

 

    I just got Kathleen's CD (talking about the warrior spirit) in the mail today . It touched me deeply!

    It was actually really fitting to what I recently posted (the story of healing) and mentioning that we are often scared of our own power, our own radiance.

It also talked about the community "getting something", the accumulative bigger picture. And because it's gotten, it's talked about! It is time to let go of all the shame we have in our bodies. It is time to set a new standard of living in our bodies!

    I absolutely loved it, tears rolling down my cheeks, it touched me so (in a beautiful, not a sad way!..lots of love, lots of beautiful potential).

    Thank you Kathleen for talking from your heart! And yes, I will follow into a new way of supporting each other. Living beautifully in the body that represents us. Learning to feel connected and comfortable in being emotional, sensual and spiritual in the body. And loving every radiant minute!... and even the not so radiant ones! For there is no turning back. The decision has been made : been there, done that, did not work, won't do it again!

Wishing everybody the warrior spirit Kathleen talks about,

with love Nadia.

 

Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.

 

Thanks

David

Come visit our STORE. Call 505-345-3737.
 
 
Order The Warrior Spirit
 
Banana Blueberry Oatmeal Cup
Pumpkin Pie
I love this recipe. It is a great option for cold winter morning. Here is the recipe.
 
It is a wonderful thing to wake up to in the morning. It is a fun recipe to play with. 
Read More
 
Your Last Diet!
Your Last Diet Book Cover

If you haven't read this yet, make sure you do.

 

    Over time, I have come to appreciate the depth of what YLD really does. Originally I thought it would simply give you a safe and sane way to lose weight without being crazy. Over the years, we have come to see that it does something deeper than that. It completely rewires diet head and alters our self image being determined by a number on the scale. This is hard to explain. Freedom from tyranny might come close, but I am not sure that even that will explain it.

    I have decided to run a number of the YLD classes right on the new list.There will be no additional fee for this. I are doing the Obesity Myth class now.

    I will go into the details of each of these at chat. I also will be sending out a mailing to all of you who have joined YLD in the past. And finally, if you once joined in the year we offered that "annual" option, please note that your membership has shifted to LIFETIME so you will be getting an invitation from me as well.  Let. me know if you have any questions.

 

If you would like to join us in YLD, come find us here.  
 
Young woman looking sorrowful
 

The Power of Shame

by Kathleen DesMaisons, PhD

 

Sometimes in chat, I have asked folks to think about the thing they were most ashamed of in their lives. Then I asked how that image made them feel. Almost everyone described feeling sick to her stomach. This is a big clue. A VERY big clue. If you have something that makes you feel sick to think of it is a crucial part of your life. You spend a lot of energy to stay away from those feelings. Make a list of the things that are sitting there eating away at you...

 

These things can be your debt, your unpaid bills, your credit report, the people you hurt, the affair you had, the things you took, being fat, bingeing, purging, compulsive sex, the way you hide food and eat it in the car so no one knows, computer porn, gambling and a thousand other things. Think of the points of shame as little black holes that suck your energy. And dealing with them seems impossible. They are too big, too bad, too horrible, horrible to even look at, let alone heal.

 

Shame is about hiding. And when you hide, the energy flows into the black hole so you procrastinate. You put the bills in the drawer. You say I will start a diet on Monday or my birthday or the first of the year. You hide the feelings of your inadequacy.You never, ever tell the depth of the repulsion and disgust about how you look. You literally *suck it up* which means, you pour your energy down into the black hole.

 

Now there is a reason for this. Mostly you are around people who add to the shame. You KNOW that they will think badly of you. If you ever really knew....and you find the people or the institutions who reinforce that message so by the time you are grown ups, you are pretty well entrenched with the hiding.

 

However, here is the irony. Whatever you think is the worst is usually the most shared. Think about the relief you felt when you connected with the community and discovered thousands of people who hid the candy wrappers under the top pile of the trash or who threw the vodka bottle on someone elses lawn. We are able to talk about the shame of being fat or being out of control with the food. But we still hide the other stuff.

 

However, it really is no different. Comes from the same place. But old patterns get etched in. And they stay to reinforce your belief that at core you really are a bad person. You arent really a bad person at all, you may have some grimy stuff to clean out. But it is no different than a grimy barn. It just feels that way.

 

SHAME=HIDING

HIDING=PROCRASTINATION

PROCRASTINATION=SHAME

 

It is a circle that goes round and round. And there is a way out.

 

ACCEPTANCE = DISCLOSURE

DISCLOSURE = MOBILIZATION

MOBILIZATION = ACTION

 

When we talked about this in chat, several people wondered about how to know what appropriate disclosure might be. Part of being sugar sensitive is either never telling or telling way too much. As you do the food, you begin to learn little bits in the right place. You share in places where you will not be judged or put down. You share with people who understand and do not reinforce your shame patterns.

 

As you do this, something incredible happens. The energy that has been going into the black hole comes streaming into your life. Everything is different. And then the lightness you feel goes into the other places. Click, click, click one at a time, the places of shame can be healed.

 

It may take a while to get the power of this. But once you do, nothing is the same.

And of course, you may always email me at kathleen@radiantrecovery.com

Kathleen

 

 

 
 

Here is the Annie Lane column that brought so many of you here.

 

Dear Annie: I read with interest the letter from "Weird, Stupid or Selfish?" – whose husband eats all the decorative candy she puts out. His inability to resist sugar resonated with me, as I have sugar sensitivity and have engaged in exactly the same behaviors. I simply could not resist sugar.

 

After years of struggling and dieting and sitting in work meetings obsessing about the doughnuts instead of the topic at hand, I discovered the book "Potatoes Not Prozac," by Kathleen DesMaisons. Her theory is that people who are sugar sensitive have brains that respond differently to sugar, alcohol and refined carbs and that what they eat and when they eat it have a huge effect on them. She shows how to rebalance blood sugar levels, serotonin and beta-endorphins through small lifestyle changes and offers the latest research, free online support and seven steps to change your life. It is not about willpower; it’s about biochemistry, which her program can slowly improve, just one tiny step at a time, with amazing results.

 

I have been sugar-free for six years now, lost 25 pounds and never gained any of it back. I can go to dinner with family and don’t even think twice when someone orders dessert. I don’t have cravings, and sugar is no longer on my radar. I am more focused and more tolerant, and the daily mood swings are gone. The woman who wrote to you could suggest to her husband that he check out http:// radiantrecovery.com to see whether he does have sugar sensitivity. At the very least, she would be better informed about this condition. – Happy Without Sugar

 

Dear Happy Without Sugar: I hadn’t considered that health issues might explain

her husband’s behavior. In fact, I hadn’t even heard of sugar sensitivity.

Thanks for opening my eyes to the condition! I’d like to encourage all readers to talk to their doctors if they find themselves compulsively eating sugary snacks.

—Email questions to dearannie@creators.com

 

ANNIE LANE
 
 
©2020 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your blog or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®, and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction. 

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