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Conversations are grouped into topics so you can search for something you are interested in and join in, or you can start a new topic. This discussion is held on a list at our host service at io groups which is where we landed after leaving Yahoo.
People are talking, bring your questions and ideas!.It is nice place to get started if you are new to the community and are wondering what to do. Join it now.
GROUPS
The groups list is up on the web
site. Just sign up for the group you would like to join. Read about the group before you ask to join. If you are starting or returning, join the Step One list.
CLASSES
We are still doing the one class on transforming fear. We have finished up Phase One of the teaching are are not redefining directions for our wind down and/or renewal. I will let you know next week.
I am build a set of new classes and should have them up on the website this week.
JOIN US ON FACEBOOK
WORKING WITH KATHLEEN
Coaching is a special offering for people who are serious about enhancing their programs and would like to have ongoing coaching. Kathleen personally runs the coaching groups.This is not a class but is a process to support your progress. We have added a special chat for people in coaching. It meets twice a week to accommodate those who are in Greenwich Mean Time and those who are in USA time.
Coaching includes several options now: Return to Radiance Coaching for those who have done the steps in the past and then drifted and would like to get back on track. Skilled Coaching is
for people who are steady on the steps and ready to work on Step 7 life skills.
I also provide individual coaching called Signature
Coaching. It can help you step out of the craziness of sugar addiction, return to steadiness and clarity after slipping away, slow down and focus on your recovery, or deepen a steady rhythm of recovery. This particular option is especially helpful if you did the steps a while again and then kinda meandered away. Or if you are facing some intense
times and would. like skillful support.
This is a 3 month process that includes doing an in-depth assessment of where you are in the process, designing an individual plan for you and then meeting once a week via phone or Zoom to work on your progress.
This is the way to step out of feeling overwhelmed with where to start and what to do. Because it is so individualized, we can work on what is right for you at this point in your journey. People tell me that coaching helps them feel safe and focused. We work with your
style, your rhythm. This is a unique opportunity to release your fear and let go of shame.The guidance can shorten and ease your process so that in 3 months you will do what you might take a year to do on your own. Signature coaching is also an excellent way to tackle any special needs you may have. like wanting to get sober, or dealing with insulin resistance, or special medical concerns.
Sign up for Signature Coaching
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"Nothing is ever lost in the process. Every slip, every derailment is in your service."
Well, the paradox is that in surrendering, I find victory. It's not so much being meek to me, but trusting and believing that
- My way hasn't been working very well
- There are people in this community who are happy and serene and radiant
- I want to be like them
- They are sharing with me how they do it
- I am not so unique that what they do won't work for me
And #1 is the sticking point a lot of times. It's hard for me to admit that I have made a mess of things, because that takes humility. And surrender and humility are not things that we generally think of as virtues.
Elaine
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We just celebrated our youngest son's birthday and this is the cake I made for him. It is originally a muffin recipe, but I am giving it to you the way I made it for the birthday cake. Kathleen asked me to share it with you, so here it is:
CHOCOLATE BIRTHDAY CAKE
- 1 jar baby banana (or 1/2 cup mashed)
- 3 T. light olive oil
- 1 egg
- 1 cup oat milk
- 1 tsp alcohol-free vanilla extract
- 1 1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour
- 1/4 cup carob powder
- 1 1/4 tsps baking soda
- 1 T. baking powder
- 1/2 cup shredded coconut
Frosting:
- 2 cups heavy cream
- 1 T. vanilla
- 1/2 cup mashed banana, to taste (optional)
Preheat oven to 350. Beat the banana, oil and egg until creamy. Add in the milk and vanilla extract. Stir in the remaining ingredients and mix until just combined. Pour the batter into a 9 inch round pan and bake for about 20-25 minutes. Let cool completely. Using a sharp knife or a cake cutter, cut the cake in half so that you have two layers. Place the bottom layer on a cake platter and
spread with the frosting. Place the second layer over that and then frost the tops and sides.
To make the frosting, chill the beaters and bowl very well. Add the heavy cream to a medium sized bowl and whip on high until thickened. Add the vanilla and banana, if you wish, and whip again until stiff. Frost cake.
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David, my oldest son, runs our store. He makes sure your orders go out quickly and works with you to find the best things suited to where you are in your process.
Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.
Come visit our STORE. Call 505-345-3737.
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And I am thinking that some of you may not know about our special Georges Shake subscriptions. I will send your shake out every month. You don't have to fill out the order again. You don't have to remember what day of the month it is. If your family uses it more slowly, you can call and wait a month. If your family
LOVES it (LOL, this happens all the time), I can send you more mid month. If you want anything else with your shake just let me know. What we lack in size, we make up in service.
Your Last Diet: More Than What You Think
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Some of you have asked if you should wait to join YLD until after you have done step 7. Absolutely NOT! Come now. YLD provides intense support for beginning the program. Chats are fun and the team is super.
This is one of my most favorite Connie quotes. If you want to know the heart of what we are doing, Connie says it.
Two different questions, two different answers. (I'm a long-time 7- stepper and I'm still fat. )
What you didn't ask is, am I healed from bingeing after 40 years? YES. I feel like I'm still in the honeymoon period from the happiness of that.
Sounds like you think "the problem" is fat. For me "the problem" is addiction, and a side effect is, it made me fat.
NOW that my addiction is quieted down, to take off the fat, I need to tweak my food and exercise, to re-deploy the pounds I gained while bingeing. And I am. But since it takes a while, I am yes, still fat. And gasp, sometimes I take a break from that and coast.
I could do it faster if I wanted to do a "weight loss" plan that included food deprivation or punishing exercise. I truly honestly don't give a rip about that desperate rushing any more. And when I adopt a plan that includes moderate exercise and moderate food changes, then it goes more slowly.
Ok, we are coming down to the wire getting ready for the new classes. If you have been thinking about joining, now is the time to do it.
There is a lifetime membership fee of $99 to join YLD. This means if you go away for 5 years to try all sorts of other things that don't work and come back, you still have a membership and a great welcome!
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Trying a New Way
Kathleen DesMaisons, PhD
People often ask me how they can sort something out. You say," Kathleen, I just cant figure out what to do." Often you are desperate and feel that you have to know NOW.
Well, first of all, the haziness, that sort of fog and cloudy sense of not knowing, is often induced by what you are eating, or by the time you are eating. Skip a meal and get dumb. Have sugar and whites, and get foggy and not be able to make sense of anything. These are the times when you push forward trying to find answers and you feel as if you are pushing into cotton. Nothing comes, even
if you wrestle for hours.
The first way out, of course, is doing the steps. I know you thought that doing the food would just deal with cravings and your weight, and maybe mood. But there is a huge payoff...you get clarity as well. The fog lifts. Things make sense. Answers come unbidden without thrashing. They come in the shower or on the way to the bank or on a walk with the dog.
But let's say you have a problem now. You cant wait for step 7. You need some practical skills today. So let's do some of those.
Usually, sugar sensitive people munch this means you say, "Is it this? Is it that? Is it this? Is it that?" You never find anything, you just fret for hours. The task is to go under what appears to be the question and seek a deep answer. Go under the surface, see what it conceals.
When you start you will often think you are too busy to sit with it. Or if you sit, you just munch so why bother. This is different. You take one issue, and you decide to focus on it. You call a sense of clarity. You basically decide to leave the munch and ask the real question. Let me give you an example. I recently had a discussion with a friend who is trying to figure out some major life
choices. Should she go to graduate school, what if she gets the new job she was interviewed for, should she stay with the old job, what if she has to move, how will she have enough money? Sound familiar? So I suggested this technique of going under the munching. I asked her what she wanted in her life in 5 years. I asked her to sit with that in stillness for maybe 30 minutes and let all the stuff quiet. This is going under the surface. Not the munching, but the real question.
She did. And she discovered that she really, really wants to be an art therapist. You might imagine that all the munching faded away. Once she was clear, the choices were clear. She didn't have to wait for step 7. And she realized that she had been munching for weeks and had never stopped to ask what was underneath. And I know this sounds too simple. But that reaction is a function of biochemistry.
Nine times out of ten, things are simple and we complicate them.
Once she was clear, she focused her energy and in 3 days, all those issues were settled. Concentrated focus is a mighty tool but we rarely use it. We dissipate it with sugar or munching. This is a learned skill. And skill coming with doing. In this case, the *doing* is getting quiet. Remember that your molecules know what is best. But the sugar static gets in the way. Quiet the static and
answers will come.
And of course, you may always email me at Kathleen@radiantrecovery.com
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