Bianca,

They want your good food! I had to smile when I read that, although I realize that when they eat what you make, it isn't there for you to eat.

I think some encouraging could be in order - along the lines of, you like what I have made, how about you buy the ingredients and I can make up a bigger batch when I make mine, because I will be making it anyway.

I have, in the past, resorted to stashing cans of meat in my own sleeping area, to keep other residents in shared accommodation out of my 'food stash'. It's tough, living in a household of students, and everyone on a food budget.

Especially, more, when it is a family situation, and the view is more like - you have something good, spread it out over all of us and we can all have a bit of the something that is good.

Like, a little meat for everyone when there is a special purchase of meat.

Basically, it comes down to figuring out how to get your other family members to prioritize the food purchases they would prefer to eat, and allocate their resources/budget in that way.

That would be the ideal, but I realize in reality, this will take a lot of talking and refining the discussion.

You have a system, and it worked really well for you when you were living on your own. I think the major thing to start with, is to prepare yourself that some habits that worked well for you when you were living on your own, won't be the ideal ones, when you are living with your family.

I'm not saying that you need to drop the food program. Far from it. :-)

Just that, there are ways of doing things in a cooperative way, when in a situation living with other people.

Changes don't need to be sweeping and 'to the exact final outcome' - they can be small changes.

Your starting point is, where you are now. Which is, doing things exactly the way you did when you lived alone.

Now that you live with other people, you get to interact with them, and there are all sorts of advantages that can be had, when people interact and have shared goals. The trick is to find those shared goals.

For instance, my brother in law lives with us. He is big on taking my food... especially my precooked meat. He is not on the food plan. But I found out that he really likes to shop flyers. He is an expert at finding sales and stocking up. So, we have a set day, Thursdays when the flyers are delivered, when we look at them together and plan trips out. Even this has been refined - my energy levels are low and finite, so I have determined we whittle down the specials to what we want most at only two destination grocery stores, and they have to be on the same side of town. It's kindof like a fun puzzle, picking our favourite sale, and then going and getting our food. He does the heavy lifting and provides motivation for food shopping when I don't feel like going. And when we plan, he gets his meat, and now, since we have been doing this for so long, I cook the whole batch and set aside mine, and he has his meat to eat too.

They key here, is that without my looking at the flyers with him, he won't go out shopping for food himself. And we fall right back into, I cook and he takes mine.

Basically, what I am saying is that some time input is needed... some listening on your side as well as theirs, some shared time of figuring out how this new situation can work well for everyone involved.

I agree, it is so different living with other people in a household. It's kindof like stepping into a world of new expectations...

At the same time, though, there are more people to help! And if each does a small thing, Soooo much more can be accomplished. It is not really about a lot of people living separate lives under one roof. And I am hardly one to talk about it, I struggle so, with living and sharing space with other people. It does not come naturally for me, and I still, to this day, have to remind myself of a number of things... it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to offer some other kind of help other than what was asked, if I can't do the help asked, or to say no outright, if I already have plans...

Anyway I am rambling. The take-home message? Yep, living with people may require some adaptation! And good things can come of it.

In the meantime, while you are trying to do things the same way and keep your steady, remember how far you have come... and that the reason you are doing this, is to expand your potential! You can do this. This is the next new chapter, in your nano steps odyssey of change!

Encouragingly,
-Lea (snoozey)

: hi everyone.

: I have just moved back home after 3
: years living away, and while
: redefining my eating habits my
: family doesn't understand my
: sensitivity to food and why I need
: to eat a certain way, making sure
: my meals are planned, and prepared
: for the week. Am I being
: unreasonable if I ask them to not
: eat my food? (I don't work, so
: have very little income and in
: debt, so when I purchase food I
: need to be healthy it really is an
: investment for me). I cannot eat
: the food they buy because I am
: allergic to wheat and diary and
: they do not eat much meat. Meat
: here is very expensive.

: I'm being accused of creating
: disunity in the family, being
: selfish and being cursed with
: "You'll never be able to live
: with anyone, ever!"

: What do I do? Surely I am normal? Am
: I asking for too much? Does anyone
: else have anything similar happen
: in their life? How do you get
: around it? Pls, I'm desperate to
: talk to someone about this as I
: don't know where else to turn.. My
: family is fighting with me and
: making me feel really low. I'm
: worried I'll get depressed again
: and considering moving out - what
: caused me to leave in the first
: place. I don't know what to do and
: terribly unhappy ...

: Please help!

: P.s. I am on step 3.