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March 30, 2015

Hi {!firstname_fix}

It has been an interesting week of getting things taken care of and fixed up. First, I finally found someone who could fix the leak on the roof of my porch. I got a number of bids from people who wanted 2-3K with no guarantees of fixing anything. Well that was pretty much out of the question, so I have a friend who has been doing very creative things. It has meant being patient as he is working it in his spare time. I had him put a tarp over it in the meantime, so things stayed dry. it looks great today. And I have learned LOTS about flat roof repair.

My freezer also stopped working. I did the research on that one. Freezers are pretty simple. One big part (the condenser), and if that goes, it really isn’t worth fixing. So I went out and cleaned it and examined everything. When I checked the cord, I realized that some rescue dog/puppy took a little nip on it, LOL. I figured it was worth trying to replace the plug. I asked the guys at the local hardware store, learned about the grounding plug, got a wire stripper, watched some you tube, LOL, and went to it. It worked, and now the freezer is running just fine.

And today I went off to Trader Joe’s and scoped out the options for frozen lunch (smile). For those of you who read last Wednesday’s chat, you will know this was a very big deal for me. Now I not only have a working freezer, but it is filled with WONDERFUL food! Yea!!

I am going to hold on the Clothing class since no one has signed up. And I am going to hold on projecting for the week after that. I want to put the energy into the classes that I am currently doing.

Maybe I should do a home repair class, (smile)...how not to be intimidated by problem solving, LOL. Let me know if you have any ideas for classes you would like to see me develop. I am putting together some really fun material for ranch, so I will use the time for that. And by the way, what an incredible group of people are coming. If you have been flirting with the idea, this is the year to do it. I KNOW it will be spectacular.

Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly.



**Quote From Kathleen **

You cannot heal addiction in isolation.


**Testimonial of the Week **

Just wanted to post a journaling breakthrough. Oftentimes in the past 3 months since I started the program, I've wondered, 'Am I 'really' sugar-sensitive? I don't really eat sugar that much.' Well, yesterday I decided to go through my past 3 months of journaling (however sketchy it was) and write down all the things I keep eating. I was shocked at the result!! My sugar/white thing to non-sugar/white thing ratio is about 50/50. The journal showed it right in my face, in black and white (or in my case, pink, as that is the shade of my pen).

Here is all the stuff I keep eating!

Granola bars/cereal, chocolate chips, soda, jalapeno bread, ice cream, cookies, snack mixes and crackers, cookie/cake/muffin dough, chocolate milk, hot chocolate, donuts/pastries, eggnog, croissants, cake and pie, pizza/pizza pockets, waffles and syrup, chocolate bars and truffles, Doritos and BBQ potato chips, pudding, Asiago cheese bread, sweet coffee drinks, apple and orange juice, red wines, pasta alfredo, jam, hard candy, bagels, stuffing, caramels, biscuits, brownies, Pirate's Booty, spaghetti, french bread, and bean dip (the canned kind in the chip aisle).

It's totally amazing how all of this can totally slip my mind when thinking about what I eat. What I imagine I eat and what I actually eat are two very different things. Thank the gods for food journals to show me otherwise!

I've really been keeping up with my journal, especially since I ordered the 'Your Body Speaks' version. (Good call on suggesting that one, Cindy. ) It's interesting that the quote for today in that was 'If you don't have a journal, you have no record of your process.'

I love stickers, so I got a bunch of sparkly ones that I put in the book for when I do exercise. I'm thinking about getting some food- shaped stickers for different goals, like complete days of journaling (maybe I'll do it for each step I'm on, eh?). Anyway, I just wanted to share my discovery. :)



**Notes from the Forum **

In Response To: At war with myself

I can relate a bit. I did two "Don't want to!!" episodes. One was pushing the part of breakfast that said, on time, every day. I wanted erratic. It was much more dramatic. Then I was NOT going to be told what to do on step three. I didn't realise that no one was telling me to do anything. I was making up the drama of internal conflict when I didn't have to have any there at all, when really all the choosing was entirely up to me.

Kathleen had posted something that I always remember. It was something like - There's so much energy there. All that energy going into the conflict and drama. (and I much preferred the beta-endorphin kick from drama to actually doing breakfast as written). Just think how amazing it would be if I could harness all THAT energy onto breakfast itself. So that is what I keep in mind. Where to choose to direct my energy. And doing the food helps my choice which helps me doing the food. yay!!

I still stamp my foot occasionally and don't wanna, LOL, but I recognise now where that's biochemical and can smile at it a bit and know what to do. So I really like your healing voice ! and love how you are listening to that one.



** Radiant Recovery® Store **

Ok so every once in a while I will plead with David to try adding something new. A couple of months ago we got some new products from the White Earth Reservation. I love their wild rice because I know the incredible health benefits for diabetes. Actually, that was an interesting statement. I went and looked to see if there was anything at pubmed on it. Nope. So I searched my own brain data bank and realized that I had heard that from the tribal elders. When community members get diagnosed, they start eating wild rice and it makes a huge difference.

Anyway. I ordered the cereal. Last week I tried it. The first time I made it, I did it in the microwave and it was totally horrible, LOL. Just didn’t cook. The next day, I put it in my rice cooker with a 4/1 ratio of water to cereal, and without a doubt, it was the BEST hot cereal I have ever had.

The next day, I added extra wild rice to the mix - I had it in my cupboard and I found it when I was cleaning. I added maybe 1/2 cup to the rest of the bag, mixed it up and then made a 1/3 cup serving for myself. It was soooooooo good!! And we still have some if you are interested.

Now I know that many of you are still carb phobic, so this may not interest you. But I can tell you that I felt fabulous ALL DAY after adding the cereal to my breakfast. I also had my regular shake.

Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.


**Radiant Kitchen **

Here is an email I got from Angella who is the mentor for the parents’ list. I love what she is planning and I thought you all might enjoy participating. Go to the bottom of the Helpful Hints page and share your ideas.

Last ranch I told you I would put together a collection of recipes that use the flavors in the RR store. I have a list started, but not a finished product. This project is a fun idea, and I was wondering if you would like to send out a general call for people to send me any recipes that use flavors in the next newsletter?

So far I have:

strawberry ice cream
strawberry chia jam
strawberry frozen yogurt popsicles
maple french toast
maple bacon butter (going to ask Kat on YLD for recipe)
vanilla ice cream
vanilla blueberry buckwheat pancakes

For great program-friendly recipes, check out our Cookbook in the store and visit our online Radiant Recipes site.


**Radiant YLD **

Someone called YLD chat a *sacred space* and I was really struck by that...You know YLD started pretty functionally as a way to give people a place to share their experience, strength and hope as they worked with the Your Last Diet book. Over the years, it has morphed way beyond that. We have discovered the depth of *fat terror* and how it stalks us all. I think YLD is the antidote.

And what I am really excited about is that I am collating all of the material we have been working with, especially over the last year, and will bring that to this year's ranch.

If you would like to join us in YLD, come find us here


**Radiant Living **

Last week we did a chat that was very powerful. We talked about how each of us, including me, struggles with little pieces of the program. The sharing was caring and connected. There is some miracle that happens in this process of connection on this level.

I know this is difficult to convey here in the newsletter. But it is pretty remarkable.

If you would like to join us in Radiant Living, come find us here


**She Refused to Eat It **
Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

This week I have been cleaning and clearing. I started going through files in my *personal* file cabinet. I found some things that came from my mother’s that I had never seen before. The first is a picture of me in nursery school. I am posting this here so you can see my little sweet self. I am that little one down in the right hand corner, LOL. That would be little Kathy at Boots and Saddles Nursery School.

In the same envelope, there was a note from the school to my mother. They spelled my name wrong, too. It says:

Dear Mrs. McCann,

Kathy only ate 1/4 of a piece of bread and a carrot stick for lunch.

And then went on to say that I told them I only eat grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken in the rough. Apparently they planned to deal with it later, LOL. This totally cracked me up since I was about as little as I was in that picture.

Now, this note stunned me. I never ever thought of myself as a picky eater, I do remember an incident when the school served ratatouille and I refused to eat it. They made me sit at the lunch table all day, but I was a stubborn little thing and just said *no*.

That note has touched me...was I choosing not to eat as a way of coping with feelings? I don’t know yet...but it does seem to be a time of old stuff being stirred. And as Kat’s comments about chat suggest, I still struggle with *lunch*.

I think you know that, historically, I have tended to de emphasize psychological causation for our relationship to food, and attributed it more to biochemistry. You also know that when presented with *evidence,* I certainly am wiling to rethink my positions. I have wondered why it is that I understand restriction on such a core level. Restriction as *not eating* as a way of dealing with feelings.

We have learned that even those of us who have larger bodies, and the stories to go with them, deal with restriction. Diets are about restriction. So as we diet, we learn to not eat. And we learn there is something perceived as very *virtuous* about that practice. But from some very wise part of me I have always known that restriction comes with a price. It means shutting down *feeling* and you can’t differentiate just one brand of feeling. The cost is pretty high. Numb for vanity. Or numb for the illusion of vanity.

But the ringer here is that 3-year-old little Kathy was not dealing with vanity. She was dealing with a father overseas on a tour of duty and a mother going through breast cancer alone. And breast cancer in 1948 was very much more of a big deal than it is now. It was something that shaped who she was on a profound level. it makes sense to me that this little feisty kid who picked up every nuance of feeling in the universe got imprinted with all that.

Or maybe she just didn’t like ratatouille and had the tiny self-confident spirit that said, *no*. I don’t know yet, but I am thinking about it. And I did fill my freezer with totally yummy food!


Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them.

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Until next time!
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mosaic contributes to the Notes from the Forum column.

©2015 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction.

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