Pouring rain
Jan 23, 2023,
 
Hi {!firstname_fix}, 
  
I put that picture up because it is a joy dot for me. Andrew, my grandson and Brody in the back of my 4 runner. The "bois" being goofy. He is in graduate school now and Brody is in charge of keeping us safe from skunks, racoons and coyotes.  I have had enough psychic space to begin thinking about ideas for this year.
 
Remember that Radiant Recovery is a "living" organic process. Things grow and change as we learn. And as more people are on Step 7, we develop resources to meet the life tasks that unfold. Those of you coming in now not only have a path cut for you, but there is gravel on it and even road signs along the way.
 
As we are sharing "joy dots" on the lists, think of this picture, and this energy because this is the other side of the pain and shame of addiction.  Glad you are here.
 
Now, for a bit of business. This was a big week. erythritol  affecting hearts and high fructose leading to Alzheimer's. I am going to talk about both over on the main community list. 
Preview:  I wouldn't touch erythritol  with a ten foot pole. But here is a website that outlines where it is. This website is very positive about it. And it will tell you that it is everywhere. The study just published in Nature [a highly prestigious journal] outlines a starling association with cardiac risk including deathk heart attach and stroke. Google erythritol and Nature to read the abstract. The news is not good.
the other citation is in the Amercican Journal of Clinical Nutrition. It is called Could Alzheimer's disease be a maladaptation of an evolutionary survival pathway mediated by introcerebral fructose and uric acid metabolism. Many long words, but essential it is saying that things high fructose corn syrup wreck havoc with our brains. Now we know this, but to see the impact outlined in clinical terms so clearly is astounding. What I have seen over 25 years is that people doing the steps have really improved health.  This is a very complex article, I need more than a few days to assimilate it and put it together, but my instincts that we are onto something way bigger than we might have thought in the beginning.
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 ReD THIS, LOL. IT DOES HAVE SOMETHING NEW IN IT. REQWe have a master community email list. It is nice place to get started if you are new to the community or are coming back and are wondering what to do.  Introduce yourself and ask for help. Or just listen. We won't mind.

The list has been quiet recently but we will get some energy over there with conversations about sweeteners and doing the food. The community is made up of a huge number of introverts which means LISTENING is held in high esteem. We will direct you to the right spot for your questions. It's fine if you know nothing, just stop in and you will be welcomed.

 

 

GROUPS
The groups list is up on the web site. Just sign up for the group you would like to join. Read about the group before you ask to join. If you are starting or returning, join the Step One list. Don't join Step One and Step Two and Step Three all at the same time. If you. have any trouble joining, send me an email at  and we will get you all set.
 Join the Step One List now.
 
Let me give you a little sense of how things fit together.Think 3 phases, pre-steps, steps, and life on Step 7.  Now, all of this kinda slowed down during covid.  It may seem like a lot of "new" stuff but it really isn't. We will talk about it in the chats over the next couple of weeks so you can ask questions and get clear.
 
I am adding a new section called "Random Thoughts" to the newsletter. It is excerpts from things I have posted at Quora. The answers seem to encourage peopole to come over to check things out so I thought you would like hearing some of them too. 
 
Using the resources of the community: this is a short, free orientation that will provide a sense of what we offer and how each thing works. We haven' done this for a while so it might be a nice update for many of you. If you sign up, I will plan to do something over the weekend.
 
Step lists: doing the food and getting skills for each step. They support getting off of sugar and healing sugar addiction. There is no fee for being on the step lists.
 
And then comes support for the things you want to do after you are steady.
 
YLD is for  losing weight, healing your body image and learning to exercise in a healthy way. Return to Radiance is for coming back after slipping around in the mud, and Journey is for Step 7 life work. These lists do have a fee associated with them because of the high level of professional support they all have. 
 

WORKING WITH KATHLEEN 
People have been asking for a long time how they might be able to work with me directly. I can help you step out of the craziness of sugar addiction, return to steadiness and clarity after slipping away, slow down and focus on your recovery, or deepen a steady rhythm of recovery. This particular option is especially helpful if you did the steps a while ago and then kinda meandered away. Or if you are facing some intense times and would like skillful support. 
 
The most useful time to think about this is after you have started Step 3. Even if you do just one session, I can help you "see" the places that might be the hardest for you. Basically it shortens the groping around by a year or so. I do have two slots available right now which is extrememly rare so if you have been thinking about this, now is a good time for it.
 
You can go here to learn more about it.  I offer a "discovery" session to see if commiting to one on one work would be a good fit for both of us. Call 505-345-3737 if you would like more information. I am happy to talk to you about options. 
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If you prefer talking on Facebook, come over to our group there. Radiant Recovery®, While our Facebook presence is primarily intended to be "social". The step work support happens on the lists.

Testimonial for the Week

 When I think back to who I was before I started this program, I can't even believe I was the same person. I had this internal dialogue going on in my head all the time, either obsessing about or overanalyzing every little interaction with people, or saying horrible things about myself. Also, I took everything personally. The slightest criticism hurt my feelings horribly. I was always trying to be perfect so that no one could criticize me.

I tried to get help. I did personal development workshops and retreats. I joined a therapy group for people who put themselves down all the time. I went on Prozac. I read tons of self help books. But no matter how hard I tried to apply what I learned, I couldn't. I remember trying to have a positive attitude, and only being able to do it for an hour or so, and then I'd be back to being negative, and hating myself because I couldn't stay positive.

Someone told me about Potatoes Not Prozac. I went to a bookstore to check out the book. In chapter 3, I saw a chart of the symptoms of low beta endorphin, and it listed everything I most hated about myself. What a liberating moment! 

I worked my way through the steps, The voices in my head are gone, I don't have fake fights in my head or torture myself emotionally, I have a positive attitude without trying. 

The best thing is, that now I love life and I love myself. Life used to be something I had to endure. Now I enjoy it. I see beauty all around me. I don't need some huge exciting event to feel happy. Just the little every day things that are around us all the time make me happy. And things just keep getting better. I keep growing and changing, and life keeps opening up. Recovery is a never ending process of discovery. 

Allison 
Radiant Recovery Store
David Smiling
David, my oldest son, runs our store. He makes sure your orders go out quickly and works with you to find the best things suited to where you are in your process. Many people think of him as their personal concierage.
 
Please note, George's® Restore is on backorder. We are changing from using jars to using mylar bags and this has ended up being way more complex than we anticipated. We will keep you posted.
 

  In this newsletter we are featuring the famous Radiant Journal called Your Body Speaks this week. People often more than one because the postage is the same for whatever number you want. 

 

 

Come visit our STORE. Call 505-345-3737.
Omega 3 Gummies


“I tried many, many journals and I ALWAYS come back to this one. It just  supports my thinking about the food every time I open it.” 



Journal
Your Last Diet
Your Last Diet Book Cover

After all this time YLD continues to be a favorite place for people in the community. If you struggle with your body image, if you have chased diets for years, here is a wonderful alternative to all the things you have tried. The Zoom chats are really fun and people learn a lot. They are a time for connection and learning. We are looking at all sorts of intriguing ideas like "Why we crave chocolate and why some people don't" [it's genetic. If you want to learn about designing a personal weight loss plan, here is the place to do it.

 

If you are not a YLD member, come and join us. Click here if you are ready to change your life or just plain ole have fun. And remember it is a lifetime membership so if you joined in 2008, you can still come back.

 

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Saying No

 

 

Margot Silk Forest wrote an article about boundaries and saying no a number of years ago. I was going to repost it for you but as I was putting it in, I realized that I had developed a really short version that. and thought I would talk about it with you. So let me give you both and you can see what suits is.

 

The key is to practice the responses you want to use BEFORE you ever have to actually use them.

 

**********

 

 

When Someone Asks You To Do Something For Them or With Them [Margot's suggestions in black, mine in red]

 

1. The enthusiastic (polite/helpful/etc.) part of me would like to say yes, but the rest of me is overcommitted (more realistic/unwilling/etc.).

2. I don't know. I'll have to think that over.

3. I wish I could help you out, but I’m overextended/overcommitted right now.

4. I'm going to pass. I'm really trying to slow down my pace these days.

5. That’s something I’ll have to think about.

6. I don't have my calendar with me, but I can call and let you know tomorrow.

7. Sorry, I'm already booked.

8. No, I can't make it after all. But it was nice of you to ask.

9. I’ll think it over.

10. Thanks, but I'm way too tired.

11. No, that's not really my thing.

12. Don't hold your breath!

13. I have an appointment that day/night. (And you don’t have to say what it is!)

14. That’s not for me, thanks.

15. Oh, that sounds interesting. Let me think about it and get back to you.

16. I'm not sure if I'm free that day/night. Let me check and call you tomorrow.

17. Sorry, but my schedule is too full right now.

18. The part that wants to make you happy wants to say yes, but the rest of me won the vote. I'll pass.

19. Thanks, but I don't think I will.

20. That’s not really something I enjoy.

21. That doesn't fit for me.

22.  When you want to have some fun saying no, try one of these:

      Not in this lifetime! Forget it! Dream on! No way, Jose!

       You must be kidding! Not in a million years!    Are you out of your mind?

I am sorry but that won't work for me. 

 

When Someone Does, Asks, or Says or Asks Something Invasive

 

24. I'm not comfortable with that.

25. I'd like to ask you not to _________________________________.

26. I'd like you to stop __________________________________.

27. Please stop doing that. I don’t like it.

28. I'm uncomfortable right now with what you're saying/doing.

29. That’s not something I talk about except with family.

30. Let’s talk about something else.

31. I want to keep that to myself.

32. That's my business.

33. I'm surprised you think you have a right to that information.

34. I don't feel like talking about it.

35. And you are asking me this because… ?? (Try saying this with a look of utter disbelief.)

36. Sorry, that's not something I talk about.

37. I never answer questions like that.

What are you really asking me?

 

When Someone Says Something You Disagree With

 

38. I see it differently than you do.

39. We certainly don't agree about that.

40. I have a different point of view.

41. My experience of _______________________ is somewhat different.

42. I hear what you are saying, but I don’t agree with it.

I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.


  © 2003 by Margot Silk Forrest


 The whole thing is about boundaries. That means use of your energy, attention, time, space and body. You get to decide what and where you are boundaries our. You get to change your mind, you get to say what you want, and it is ALWAYS about your consent. As I have been working on this, I have realized that over time, boundaries have gotten simpler. I am clearer, say no sooner and more explicitly, without apology. It is a skill, it does get easier. I think Margot and I have different styles. Your joy is you can find what works for you.

 

This is Grace unfolding. You are not alone.
©2023 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your blog or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®, and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction. 

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