The Gift Hidden in Addiction
Before your healing, your sugar addiction diverted your energy into the desperate, ongoing effort to find something, anything that would numb your pain and your feelings of inadequacy. The key message you heard was that addiction is bad. That reinforced your feeling of being “less
than.”
This new edition of Potatoes Not Prozac has given you new information. You have learned that feeling “less than” is a function of your sugar-sensitive biochemistry. The feeling was there before your sugar addiction. And stopping the addiction didn't change it. This book has
taught you the skills to change that core feeling. Doing the food, addressing your shame, doing your emotional healing, and playing will all work together to remove those bad feelings about who you are. Even so, you may still carry the belief that somehow addiction is bad and that even though you are healing, what we call being in recovery, you are defective because you were once addicted.
You have been told — and no doubt you have internalized the message so that you deeply believe it — that you lack discipline and self-will, and are a shame to society. The fact is, these things are simply not true. I want to challenge that erroneous belief and offer you a way to reframe it. Reframing is taking an idea or belief about something or someone and finding
another, more helpful, way to look at it.
Reframing happens all the time. If we are alone in the house in the dark of the night and we hear a loud noise, we may think an intruder has come to hurt us. Or we may simply assume the cat knocked something off the counter. If we have a cat with a
history of mischief, we will register that sound in a practical way rather than assuming it is an indicator of something bad or scary. This doesn’t mean we won’t get up to check, but it changes our level of fear about doing so. Here is another example of a reframe.
A friend of
mine told me about driving one day behind a very large, very slow truck winding its way up a narrow mountain road. She was fuming at the blasted truck because she liked to drive that road fast, fancying herself quite a skilled driver. Then all of a sudden, she had a flash of wisdom and this reframe came into her mind: I should thank that truck. It is making me go slow and ensuring that I don’t drive off the road! She took a moment and literally said thank you to the hulking bulk of the
truck, then enjoyed the rest of her drive.
Here is the reframe I have created especially for you: Addictions are not for underachievers! They actually require a high level of skill to maintain. Skill??? Yes. What’s more, these skills can be transferred to another goal,
like recovery. Too often our “less than” feelings lead us into the trap of thinking that we are permanently impaired and cannot handle any recovery beyond stopping the sugar. This is not so. The key to deep recovery is simply waking up and realizing that you already have the skills you need to achieve it. You learned these skills as a sugar addict. You have them in spades. You simply need to apply them to your recovery.
For example, society tells us that addicts are weak-willed. Not so. When you needed to get your “fix,” you used tremendous will power to do it. You overcame all odds and all obstacles. Society also tells us that addiction makes you stupid. Nope. It simply diverts you from using your intelligence in everyday matters into using it to
find something to numb your pain. Traditionally, substance abuse addiction counselors assumed that people in early recovery had impaired brains and lacked life skills. They didn’t really think about sugar as a drug. Yes, alcohol, drugs, addictive behaviors and SUGAR do create physical impairment in your brain, an impairment that leads to disordered thinking or bad judgment. But doing the food heals your brain, including this impairment. Your thinking becomes clear again and your judgment
can become trustworthy.
I want to ask you a very outrageous question. What if your sugar addiction contained a huge gift? What if there was positive power hidden within it? What if it demanded and honed a skill set that will empower your recovery? For example, didn’t it
teach you how to be focused, single-minded and determined? Take your mind back to those days of need to have your sugar fixand reframe them with gratitude for what they were able to teach you.
Addictive skill is unparalleled in creating a package for success. I know that
society and your family have drummed into you the idea that you are a weak willed, selfish lout who cares only for herself. That may have once been true. But your quest for sugar, or painkilling behaviors gave you something else as well. Let's reframe some of your life in addiction so you can see what I mean. I am going to use the word “drug” as the name for your sugar. I know it may feel outrageous, but bear with me. This may open your mind in a way you cannot imagine.
Your addictive skill teaches you this:
- Your drug of choice was your priority in
life
- Your biggest priority was your drug supply
- You planned your time around
getting your drug
- You cut out of boring social events if your drug was not available
- You paid great
attention to the quality of your drug
- You knew the best source of getting your drug
- It didn't matter
if someone else didn't use it, you stuck with your drug
- You knew the brands/kinds you liked best
- You were focused on making sure you had your supply
- You were single-minded about getting your drug
- It didn’t matter what the rest of the family thought, you got your drug
- You got your drug no matter the money, time, place or people in the way
- You were highly resourceful
- If you couldn't get what you needed, you found good alternatives
- You always, always made sure you could get your drug, whether this meant having a car, knowing where you would be staying, knowing where the stores or dealers were, whatever
- You had great devotion to your drug
- It was the most important thing in your life
- You got the best you could afford
- You learned the difference between quality and mediocre products
- You were focused, tenacious and meticulous about your drug
- You paid attention to your supply to make sure you always had what you needed
- You kept track of time perfectly so you knew when you would get your next dose
- You made sure you had the money to support your habit no matter what else got shortchanged
- Your life was organized around your drug
- You didn't have to talk about it, you just took care of getting and doing what you
needed
These were the skills you developed when you were addicted. The deeper your addiction was in your life, the more finely honed these skills were. And you still have them, all of them. Now you can call upon them on behalf of your recovery. Here’s the reframe:
- Your recovery is your priority in life
- Your biggest priority is your
recovery
- You plan your time around supporting your recovery
- You cut out of boring social events if
they do not support your recovery
- You pay great attention to the quality of your recovery
- You know the
best source of recovery for you
- It doesn't matter if someone else isn’t in recovery. You stick with your recovery
- You are able to differentiate which foods are good for you
- You are focused on making sure you support your recovery
- You are single-minded about your recovery
- It doesn't matter what the rest of the family thinks, you focus on your recovery
- You support your recovery no matter the money, time, place or people in the way
- You are highly resourceful
- If you can't get what you need for your recovery, you find good alternatives
- You always, always make sure you have the tools to support your recovery,
whether this means having a car, knowing where you are staying, knowing where the meetings are, whatever
- You have great devotion to your recovery
- It is the most important thing in your life
- You get the best you can afford
- You learn what enhances it and you do those things
- You are focused, tenacious and meticulous about your recovery
- You pay attention to what you need for your recovery to make sure you always have what you need
- You keep track of time perfectly so your meals are set to go
- You make sure you have the money to support your recovery no matter what else gets shortchanged
- Your life is
organized around your recovery
- You don't have to talk about it, you just take care of getting and doing what you need
Pretty astounding reframe isn’t it? And you know it’s true. You are skilled, determined, smart, meticulous, focused, single-minded, and resourceful. What wonderful skills to have!
Reframing the how we look at a situation affects
how our brain registers it. If you think of yourself as a shameful person because of your sugar addiction, then your brain will hold that concept and act from that belief. Thinking or feeling this way over and over creates a “rut” in your brain. It can become your default way of thinking about yourself.
If you think of yourself as a person who used sugar addiction as a way to run from the pain and who has a huge repertoire of addictive skill gleaned from those years, you will stop thinking of yourself as “less than” and start thinking of yourself a skilled person who needs a new place to use those skills.
Reframing sugar addiction as the source of a profound skill set that can support your recovery is a powerful tool. It's my belief that this kind of reframing moves us out of the fear and shame side of the amygdala and into the joy side. This enables our recovery to flow from a place of forgiveness, strength, and opportunity. Rather than trying to fix your “character defects” like resentment, grandiosity, and irresponsibility, you can look
at them as the result of a misguided application of natural skill. Then you can stop beating yourself up and get on with your recovery with confidence in your ability to achieve it.
Thinking of yourself as skilled, competent and experienced gives you a way to lead from strength.
Think about how excited you get when you feel that you know what you're doing, you have the skills to do it, you have the experience to do it, you know how to do it, and nothing will get in your way. Your belief in yourself changes everything.
Remember, these are skills you already have. You don't have
to learn them. You know them. They are embedded in every part of who you are. You've used them for years. You have put energy, passion, time, money, resources — your whole life — into building them. You are not a newcomer to the task. In fact, you have the equivalent of a PhD in addictive skill. It’s time to start thinking of yourself as a star player rather than a loser.
I think that having these addictive skills is the reason that people in recovery have such an extraordinary advantage over other people. Recovery supports this reframing. Rather than seeing yourself as a victim, you see yourself as a winner based on skill crafted in the trenches at great cost. Now it’s time to use that skill.
I encourage you to claim the power of your addictive skill, bless it, and use it to build recovery skills with grace and joy. What you thought was your pain will become your teacher. You will no longer run from it. You will embrace your past with a passion that will create a future of hope and excitement. You will once again be a loving, warm, caring, intuitive person, as you
were when you were little. You will embrace the best of your sugar sensitivity and act from a place you never realized was there to serve you.
I truly believe that this is Grace unfolding, and we are not alone.
