Venus rising on a deep blue night with the words Radiant Recovery superimposed on it
August 16, 2021,
 
Hi {!firstname_fix}, 
  Well,  we have been continuing to work on phase II of post COVID life. So many of us were just feeling exhausted, I went learn learn more about the impact of the virus (or its surrogates) on our mitrochrondria. From there we have been exploring mitrochronidia support options. I think what all of us agree on is the "doing the food" helps everything!
   It is nice that we are making connections. The social part certainly helps. Sharing and talking after so long in isolation is like water in the desert. And Zoom has meant that we can have conversations with people from all over the world. Chat takes on a whole new meaning when you have people from India and Australia and the UK and the USA.
 
I am adding a new little column on recovery from alcoholism and substance abuse. I write things overran Quora and I was thinking it would be nice to share some of that with you.  See what you think.
    
     
Support for Your Program
Journals
COMMUNITY CONVERSATIONS
                                                                                   

 We have a master community email list. It is nice place to get started if you are new to the community or are coming back and are wondering what to do.  Introduce yourself and ask for help. Or just listen. We won't mind. The community is made up of a huge number of introverts which means LISTENING is held in high esteem. We will direct you to the right spot for your questions. It's fine if you know nothing, just stop in and you will be welcomed Join it now.

GROUPS
The groups list is up on the web site. Just sign up for the group you would like to join. Read about the group before you ask to join. If you are starting or returning, join the Step One list. Don't join Step One and Step Two and Step Three all at the same time. If you. have any trouble joining, send me an email at kathleen@radiantrecoverycom and we will get you all set.
 
CLASSES
Fat Terror:  This class gets to the heart of the feeling that some many come to the program with. The pain of being overweight, the fear of gaining weight, the obsession of having to be thin to be all right, you know the whole package. This will be a 2 week class done by email so you do not have to be in one place at a specific time. It is a great way to explore hard feelings in a safe and comforting way. I will put a sign up button in the next week or so.
 
 
JOIN US ON FACEBOOK
If you prefer talking on Facebook, come over to our group there. Radiant Recovery®,.
 
WORKING WITH KATHLEEN 
People have been asking for a long time how they might be able to work with me directly.  I provide individual one on one intensive coaching called Signature Coaching.  I can help you step out of the craziness of sugar addiction, return to steadiness and clarity after slipping away, slow down and focus on your recovery, or deepen a steady rhythm of recovery. This particular option is especially helpful if you did the steps a while ago and then kinda meandered away. Or if you are facing some intense times and would. like skillful support. 
     Signature coaching offers several options. Most people do a 3 month process that includes doing an in-depth assessment of where you are in the process, designing an individual plan for you and then talking with me once a week via phone or Zoom to work on your progress. You will learn to do an efficient journal and to identify your strengths and challenges.  
    Other people chose to do a month long intensive to get a sense of whether the process is suited to their style. And some people continue to work beyond the initial 3 months in special arrangements we work out for their budget and progress. All signature coaching starts with an initial assessment meeting at no charge to you. This time allows us to collaborate on the best way to work with your food and style.
    This is the way to step out of feeling overwhelmed with where to start and what to do. Because it is so individualized, we can work on what is right for you at this point in your journey.  People tell me that coaching helps them feel safe and focused. We work with your style, your rhythm. This is a unique opportunity to release your fear and let go of shame.The guidance can shorten and ease your process so that in 3 months you will do what you might take a year to do on your own. Signature coaching is also an excellent way to tackle any special needs you may have. like wanting to get sober, or dealing with insulin resistance, or integrating doing the food with special medical concerns.
    And in fact, we have developed some creative personalized plans especially suited to where people are in the program and what will work best to support them.You can go here to learn more about it.  Call 505-345-3737 if you would like more information. 
 
Sign up for Signature Coaching 
 
"Most sugar addicts who have not started to heal do not plan much. They lurch from one thing to another."
 

 

Testimonial for the Week

I think I have finally worked through the resistance to doing step 2. I've been consistently journaling for some time now and look forward to it. It's quite amazing how natural it's become to reach for my journal to record my feelings. It's become a close friend rather than an annoying little sister that always demands my attention. I never thought I would get to that place. I plan to structure time in each day when I am away to continue with that process.

I am feeling very steady with the food. The nice thing about visiting my parents is that I always take over the cooking because my Mom hates it, so I certainly will be in control of what goes on the table. I am so grateful for that. I had been slipping and sliding for the past while with sugar, after not eating it for over a year. Since journaling has become routine and especially since I have been reaching out for help from this wonderful community, I have been able to detox a couple of weeks ago. It's amazing how the cravings just stop once the food is stable. I am also aware of feeling full sooner and am definitely experiencing less desire for second helpings.

I want to thank you all so very much for your continued support. It is so good to have a place that I can turn to 24 hours a day and know that I will be heard and understood. I am so very grateful for all of you.

Carmel

Radiant Recovery Store
David Smiling
    David, my oldest son, runs our store. He makes sure your orders go out quickly and works with you to find the best things suited to where you are in your process. 

Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.

    GOOD NEWS!  We have a good supple of George's® Restore. For those of you who are new, make sure you try this. Everyone tells us it is the best on the market.  I KNOW that the alternative you have been using does not compare (ask me how I know that LOL). The cows that make the milk that makes the whey isolate for restore eat only grass. No corn, no soy, no hormones. Just New Mexico and Idaho grass - not the same herd though, lol.

    Thank you for your continued support of Radiant Recovery® and the store. If you have any questions, you are welcome to call me at the office.

 

Come visit our STORE. Call 505-345-3737.

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Problem Solving the world of Alcoholism
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My Mother is an alcoholic, how can I have a relationship with her?

I have a lot of compassion for you. It is very, very difficult to have a relationship with an alcoholic. And when it is your parent, it is unbelievably painful.

I am going to offer a slightly different perspective from some of the answers you have gotten. Alcoholics are not bad people. They are people who feel pain deeply and start off using alcohol as a way to cope. And then they get caught in a cycle of addiction that is very hard to get out of

They are still not bad people. And as you can hear from these comments, they get trashed for their behavior and not bucking up and getting clean and sober. But let’s say your mother does stupid things, or says stupid things to you when she is drunk. Or she makes promises that she doesn’t keep. Or she tells you that she will stop, but she doesn’t. And you love her and you get so mad you just decide you cannot deal with it.

The problem is she is connected to you on a cellular level. And maybe your real feelings are that you actually love her and it is killing you to watch her be this way. So even if you are not talking to her, she is still talking inside your head. Maybe you might try going to Alanon and learning how to heal what you feel. Maybe go so you can talk to other people who know exactly how. you feel and can help you sort out what to do.

You dont have to be alone with this. Alcoholism sucks and those of us who grow up with alcoholic parents can heal, can forgive and can stop the train from running on down through our lives.

Kathleen

Your Last Diet: A Surprise Awaiting
Your Last Diet Book Cover

    I think weight loss got put on the back burner while we were struggling with COVID. Now that people are starting to reconnect, go ahed and get back in their bodies, body shame has poked

 

Here is a quote from a YLD member:

    It has been quite a while since I checked in with you folks. It was not because I wasn't following the plan or had lost interest. Life was unusually stressful from early Dec to the present and I have been putting "stress management" at the top of my agenda. I continue to be absolutely in awe of what Kathleen has discovered. I feel I have found "my home" - a place where I feel at peace with my body. I weighed myself today for the first time in 2 months - I have lost 10-12 pounds since starting on this journey with you. And, more importantly, I feel so good in my body. I've read with interest what some of you have been saying about the loss of emotional energy around weight loss. This feeling of being OK with where I am now - no, not just OK, but radiant - is incredible.

    I did post a instruction sheet for how to get to chat. It is in the files at the YLD email list online.  We are working on making it simpler and easier to get in. Please call me at 505-345-3737 if you have any trouble with it.

    If you are not a YLD member, come and join us. Click here if you are ready to change your life or just plain ole have fun. 

Clownie
 

The Law of Threes

Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

 

I have often been asked why I don't provide a whole list of supplements. "Why only three, Kathleen?"

I operate under The Law of Threes. (I made it up.)

I firmly believe that we sugar sensitive people have "Mush brains." We are smart and intuitive but we have a very hard time "remembering" what we are supposed to do.

However, I have found that I can easily remember three things.

Three key issues (blood sugar, serotonin, beta endorphin), three meals, three vitamins. I thought it would be a good idea to put The Law of Threes to use.

Every year in early August, I begin thinking about the year completed and the year to come. Where have I been, where do I want to grow and what will it take to get there?

In the past, I would write out many goals. Once I even bought one of those expensive planning systems which provided space in my appointment book to see how I was progressing with each goal. I think we had seven areas to work with. But after about two weeks, my enthusiasm petered out.

I couldn't remember everything I was supposed to be doing, so I simply stopped doing any of it. Sounds like a sugar sensitive person, don't you think?

Then I started working with The Law of Threes. I could remember three things. The idea grew with me. It simplifies and focuses my direction.

My goals:

Simplicity

Order

Kindness

I majored in philosophy in college. It is easy for me to conceptualize global ideas. So even though there are only three goals, they still seemed to be pretty abstract.

So I said, "Okay, Kathleen, what do you mean? Let's get concrete and specific, here." It was fun to tag each goal to a very specific area - making it do-able. So I got to pick three applications for my three goals.

Here is what I chose:

Simplicity

Food

Order

Money

Kindness

Exercise

I was getting closer. But what do "food, money and exercise" mean? Back to the drawing board I went.

Remember now, I was still working with The Law of Threes, so I didn't let myself start making up lists.

Oh, I wanted to. I wanted lists big time. All the things I would do with my food, all the strategies with money, and many, many options for exercise. But I held my pen and worked on holding my brain.

I admit that I kept wanting to drift off in wild reflection... "Well, you could do this...."

"Three, you get to choose three," I told myself. So I went back to my little grid (you know I love those grids)!

It made me laugh.

Simplicity

Food

3 meals each day.

Order

Money

Pay bills on time.

Kindness

Exercise

Do it.

This wasn't cosmic. I just have to worry about three specific jobs: 3 meals each day. Pay bills on time. Do it.

Of course there will be other things I have to figure out in order to manage these three. I will have to watch the time, go grocery shopping, decide what to cook when, what to eat. But I can just keep the focus on the end task - eat three meals every day.

The same is true for paying the bills on time. I have to remember to bring the mail in, to open it, to register that it is a bill, to note the day it is due, to make sure the money is in the right account. You know the drill. We tend to drift and then we get in trouble. La-La land I call this.

In the past, when I hit La-La land, I would get upset and feel badly, and then would have to avoid those feelings by not doing anything.

Now my pattern is to stay focused on what is manageable. Pay the bills on time. Eat three meals. Exercise.

The end of the story?

If I do my three things, I will get to my goals.

See if you can boil down what you want for next year into three things. Get real simple and real focused and see how it goes.

 

 "If you are going to be with a person in a dark hole, take a ladder and a lantern." the steps are the ladder and our humor and perspective is the lantern. You are not alone. Grace is unfolding.

©2021 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your blog or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®, and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction. 

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