Radiant Recovery Logo


September 29, 2014


Hi {!firstname_fix}

Well, I am all ready for my trip over to England. Will stop in Boston on the way and then hop a flight to Dublin and then London. Got all the phone connections straightened out after an hour at the AT&T store. Finally the manager sorted what was the missing link - put a + in front of the country code. (smile)

Dogs watched as I packed. They went to pout in sorrow on the front porch. I made the decision to just take my iPad since it weighs so much less. I will send photos and a report of the journey.


There will be no classes beginning Wednesday, October 1, 2014.

This class will begin Wednesday, October 8, 2014. Please click on the name of the class and it will take you to the registration page:

Using Radiant Resources (1 week) - is a free orientation for those of you who are brand new and would like to find your way around all the things we offer in the community. One of our mentors will show you the ropes. Watch for the welcoming email with a link to join the Yahoo list we use as our classroom.


This class will begin Wednesday, October 15, 2014. Please click on the name of the class and it will take you to the registration page:

Brain Chemistry Beta Endorphin (2 weeks) - Learn how this chemical affects your self-esteem and why your capacity to cope may be directly related to your beta endorphin levels. A fascinating look at the part of the story that is most crucial to sugar sensitivity.


The class schedule is online. Click here to see what is planned.

A number of you have asked me how the classes work. Check the class list page for more information on this. And please go read the questions and answers before you write to me. If you have trouble getting through the process, write the tech forum.

Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly.

Warmly,
Kathleen


**********************************************************************

**Quote From Kathleen **


Learning to recognize the subtlety of what your body has to say may take some time.

**********************************************************************

**Testimonial of the Week **


My 4 kids have been doing the food with me for years. My youngest, 11 yo girl, has been having increasing difficulty waking up on these cold mornings (it is winter in Australia), and getting food into her in time to walk to school has gotten more and more difficult...until I remembered someone saying about bringing breakfast to the child in bed.

Now everything in my "when they obey they can have a treat" background screamed against me doing this "pampering" of a "willful" child. But when I thought about the biochemistry, it became an easy decision. So I take my medication (which must be 1/2 hr before food), get up, go to the kitchen, prepare oatmeal for myself and my daughter, stir in some milk powder and take it in to her. A drowsy good morning, and she eats sitting up in bed. I get dressed, then eat my oatmeal while cooking the eggs. Soon she is in the kitchen ready for the eggs and bacon I have cooked for her. 20 minutes later she is fully breakfasted and dressed. 30 min. from when she was asleep, she is ready to leave home (and so am I). Lunch gets packed as we finish eating.

The older 3 kids all cook their own breakfasts and pack their own lunches...all I have to do is make sure the doings are available...it messes things up if I forget to put the bread out before I go to bed!

No whinging from anyone. Not the child, or me! No nagging, no dragging, or dawdling...because we have addressed the biochemical reason that she couldn't do the things for herself!!

Kath


**********************************************************************

**Technical Tips **


If you are setting up your cell phone to make international calls, make sure to put the + sign in front of the country code.

**********************************************************************

**Notes from the Forum **


In Response To: What does self-confidence feel like?

I hear you on the scary unknown thing. In retrospect though, it was all so gentle in that way that I sometimes didn't notice and the self confidence crept up on me.

I was a bit scared of - losing my identity. That sounds a bit dramatic, doesn't it? But what has happened is I have grown into my self.

I used to act self confident I think, just now I don't have to 'act' it the same.

Step three was a real turning point in this for me. Step three was me in my turquoise swim suit promenading along the beach in Spain without feeling self conscious, just comfy.

Self confidence now is to be able to go shopping, and when clothes don't fit it is not my fault and the world isn't against me, I can still enjoy my day out.

And a really funny thing is self confidence is, instead of trying to please other people all the time, being able to say, "*I* would like that green wallpaper paint" and actually win that one! LOL A big part - most of it - is doing the food and the biochemistry. The other bit is what I learn in class and in chat. I have some choice phrases I keep in my pocket at work as a reminder.



**********************************************************************

** Radiant Recovery® Store **


David manages the Radiant Recovery® Store. He is also Kathleen's oldest son.

I just wanted to talk about our Prime membership service. I am glad you are liking it. If you glossed over it, come see what you are missing.

PRIME status means that you will receive a preferred price on many of the items we carry in our store. The store will offer many items at two prices, a regular price and a PRIME price (right below, in red). The PRIME price is close to 10% off a large number of the items we carry. Not all items have a PRIME price. If you have an "ACTIVE" subscription (not on hold or canceled), you will qualify for the PRIME prices at any time you make a purchase. You will also notice that we have lowered some subscription prices as well. If you select the PRIME price and are not an ACTIVE subscriber, you will be charged the regular price at the time your order is processed. The PRIME member will not need to remember a discount code or password to get the benefits of being a subscriber/PRIME member.



Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.


**********************************************************************

**Radiant Kitchen **


Fruit Cobbler

There’s a fruit cobbler recipe I have made for years that I made sugar-free tonight for the first time. It’s great! I used apples and strawberries, but you can use anything, really. If you’re using something like canned peaches (in natural fruit juice of course), you can use it as is. Tonight I sautéed apple slices in a bit of butter and cinnamon and nutmeg until they were a bit soft. Then added a handful of strawberries, sliced.

Put fruit in the bottom of a glass pie dish.

In a bowl, cream 1/2 cup butter and about 2/3 cup apple butter. Add 1 egg, 1 cup flour (can use whole wheat or whole-wheat pastry), 1 tsp. baking powder and mix well. Glop this on top of the fruit in several places and spread to cover.

Bake at 350 degrees fahrenheit for about a half an hour. Delicious with whipped cream."

This recipe was contributed by Sue Ann from the Radiant Recovery Community Forum.

For more great program-friendly recipes, check out our cookbook in the store and visit our online Radiant Recipes site.



**********************************************************************

**Radiant YLD **


Your Last Diet! This is weight loss for real people. Your last Diet! Is the only weight loss program especially for sugar-sensitive people. It addresses YOUR unique body and brain. The first part of Your Last Diet works on healing the addiction to sugar by balancing your blood sugar, raising your serotonin and beta endorphin (brain chemicals associated with addiction). The program heals the reasons why you are overweight. It walks you through a four-phase process to lose weight permanently and totally stop the pattern of yo-yo dieting. You will NEVER have to diet again.

If you would like to join, come find us here


**********************************************************************

**Radiant Living **


We have a new portal for the Radiant Living program. Come check it out here.

The really, really fun part is that mostly we talk about the article from the newsletter. Sometimes not, mostly yes. But the most astounding thing is that whatever the conversation starts as, it shifts into what people most need to hear. It is like having cozy tea together, or like sitting by the sea chatting about things that fill us up. We don't talk about the food, we talk about hopes and dreams.

If you would like to join us, you can do that directly below.

Join Radiant Living Now: click here - $99

If you are not a member, come and join us if you want to be a part of the latest and greatest or just have some plain ol' fun!


**********************************************************************

**Our Online Groups **


Step Seven. We have been sorting out what step seven might be. We are doing this through dialogue. We had someone who had been on step seven and had gone off the rails. We were trying to sort out with her how we might work through the process of coming home.

Hi Jane, Ok, you posted about doing a 30/30...but you really didn't provide any context for that. So I just went back and read all the postings...I think this is the reference post, yes?
Yes, there are folk who go completely off plan, I know that they exist, but only know of one who has come out and said it at the time. I didn't post about it publicly as I felt great shame, which then probably contributed to me down the addiction path even further.

It really didn't occur to me to post here as I went so far off the rails and I think very quickly.

I briefly posted on my home list when it happened, but life events took over and I got 'busy'. In the end, had lots of gentle nudges from an RR friend on facebook, one of which gave me a lightbulb moment and that's what got me back to posting on Brits. Never occurred to me to post here though, as I was so far from step seven.
When I was reading this, it sounded as if it was in the past tense. (smile)
Then, there's the isolating part. If I do this in secret, I can get back to where I was and no-one will ever know. This is the part I feel very uncomfortable about, and I do see that as being dishonest, if not to you all, then to myself. But that's probably why I bared all on Brits, my 'home group.
And here it sounds as if it is in the present tense. (smile)

So I think you are in trouble and the 30/30 reference was really whether you could or should do your *remedial* work here? Is that what you were asking?
With hindsight, maybe the best thing I could have done for myself was post on here and be surrounded by step 7 advice.

Ok, this is a GREAT question because I think it precisely highlights the issue I have been trying to sort out.

I think we are all in agreement now about what we might move this list towards. I think the remaining question is essentially how do we handle a person who was on step 7 and got derailed. And actually it does happen more than you may realize...and yah, the shame gets in the way.

Anyway, let me tell you how we handle this on mentors.

If someone gets in trouble, they stop *working* so they are not acting as if everything is all right. They tell people on their home group. And then they get individual support from someone they really trust. Kinda like a private coach.

What if we did that here? You stay on the list here, but you tell people you are in trouble. You ask for help. And maybe ask for a coach from the list who will listen to you directly and put together a *rehab* plan. I can post some samples of what people are doing...like posting daily, working on the step where they lost it, and of course working on journaling, LOL.

I am thinking aloud, so I may say contradictory things, LOL,

Ok, so then, as they are getting back on track, they start posting to their home list about what happened and what they are doing, and how it is going. Once step 3 is back solid, usually the shame stuff quiets and then the reporting is funny, and sometimes even fun.

I think the question is what level of the rehab sharing should happen here on the list...and how do we work on the shame part.

Here is my opinion at this point in time. I would like the step 7 list to be a shame-free list. Or a hiding or lying list. (I mean that tenderly). Isolating, hiding and lying is not step 7. Problem solving is. So it is not the falling that is a problem for step 7, but the response to it.

For example....I could feel in your note, Jane, that angst that comes with biochemical imbalance. Words like *lead balloon,* LOL, are a clue...to *they don't love me, I am bad, I need to slink away* LOL.

So let's do a step 7 reframe...(smile)

No, wait, here is an idea...think program and food...two things...

Your program can be great even if your food is wonky. (smile)

A step 7 program says, *Eek, my food is off the rails. I am in deep do-do here. Hey guys, can you help me sort this out? Let me share with you what is going on, and perhaps you can suggest how I best proceed.* Then we would collaborate...and get a plan. And the plan might be to LISTEN until you are not defensive, LOL..and do work on your step 3. Or it might be to report daily.

I have learned something too...

My default on this list is that people are ok unless they say something. But not saying anything...or being MUSHY...is a clue. So what if we agree that if you are on this list, you participate....and you honor this idea that default means working step 7 improvements and that if you get in trouble you commit to saying that (which is the step 7 ticket).

One other thing..on step 7, I tend to expect people to be healing each other, rather than Kathleen doing it. It is a significant shift.

Whew, this would be called groping into an answer.

What do you think of this? Does this make sense?

Kathleen


Or come to the group page to find the one that will best support your program: http://www.radiantrecovery.com/list_serves.htm


**********************************************************************

**The Mystery of Joy Dots **
Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.



I know that many of you have heard the term *joy dots* being talked about in the community. You may have seen people posting their *joys* and thought it was a pleasant exercise, but you really had no context. I thought it would be fun if we talked some about the idea. THis will let you share in the excitement they bring us.

So here is the back story. Our depression list was the very first list we ever started in the community. For many years, it was a pretty grim place. People came in and shared about being depressed. It kinda went round and round and round. As people did the food, they usually left the list and joined the community in other places.

A few years ago I was having a conversation with one of the women on the list about her being stuck. She was upset by the fact that she had been doing step 3 for years and could not get past it. She was pretty negative and grim. One day I challenged her to just write three things that she noticed during the day that gave her joy. I think this idea came out of the class I was teaching about the amygdala - the center of the brain that processes primal emotions like fear, anger and joy.

At any rate, she agreed to do it. Later she admitted to me that she thought it was a really stupid idea and she only agreed to prove me wrong. She just started tacking three sentences on the bottom of her posts. *I noticed the flowers blooming in the garden* *I liked how the light was shining on the trees.* *There were dew drops on the spider web.* *My shake was yummy this morning.* They were simple declaratives and caught a joy moment. We called them *joy dots.* They were interesting, pleasant and no one really noticed them.

Some time passed and one day I said, *Can you move those joy dots up to the top of your posts?* She did. And something very strange happened. Her tone changed. She was no longer grim. And she started looking at things in a different way.

And then something even stranger happened. Other people on the list started doing the same thing. Joy dots first. And the list woke up. The energy shifted. Grim faded. The list started laughing. The members started connecting to each other. Now we call the depression list, the joy list.

If you think it is silly, just try it. See what happens.



Thanks for reading! If you know someone who could benefit from this, feel free to forward it to them.

Not a subscriber yet? Like what you have read? Sign up to get future issues delivered straight to you:

http://www.radiantrecovery.com

Until next time!
Facebook Logo You Tube Logo Twitter Logo
Here are the folks who are helping put the newsletter together:

Gretel, our webmaster, puts it all together.
David runs the Radiant Recovery® Store.
mosaic contributes to the Notes from the Forum column.


©2014 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction.

You are getting the weekly newsletter from Radiant Recovery® in response to your signup. A copy of this newsletter may also be found posted on the web at http://www. radiantrecovery.com/weeklynewsletter