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April 27, 2015

Hi {!firstname_fix}

It rained all day on Sunday. It was the kind of rain I see on the Island in Maine...soft, chilly and steady. We love rain in New Mexico. Usually, it comes all at once in 20 minutes and floods everything. I have clay soil in my back yard. And 3 large Golden Retrievers who think water is a good thing. Would they step inside to take shelter in their kennels? Nope, they just stayed out in the rain and pranced around in the clay, the wet clay.

I decided it was part of their fat dog camp spa treatment and was not alarmed. At 10:20, my two volunteer eighth graders arrived for their community service work with the rescues. At the same time, a new volunteer arrived. He wanted to *meet and greet* before he will take dogs walking/running as part of fat dog camp. Three dogs, three people. I passed out brushes. All dogs were in heaven.

The newest is a girl who was purchased for $500 as a puppy 6 years ago. She was given puppy shots that spring, but they never took her back to the vet in 6 years. No shots, no chip, no spay, no heart worm testing. Spent no time with her. Never walked her, just put her in the back yard and then yesterday decided it would be better to give her away. I took the dog and did not say what I was thinking. She sat in shell shock in the corner of the back yard.

The biggest boy came and lay next to her. She lifted her lip. He put his head down beside her. He put his paw on her paw and just sat with her. When it rained, the boys went to work making mud sculptures. She just sat with her head down crying. Three volunteers meant she got her own person, a 13 year old who took her head in her hands and looked at her and said, *You have the most beautiful eyes* and kissed her on the nose.

It stopped raining, The dogs dried. I passed out hot dogs and clickers, all dogs were excited. Dogs who knew nothing about leashes 2 days ago knew that no pull meant a click and a piece of hot dog. Twenty minutes later, all dogs went walking. I told the girls they could run with the big boys (the girls do track at school) and then these two giant fat dogs just started running with joy. They were soaring with joy. And the new girl walked with Jay and put her head in his hand and wagged her tail.

I know that some of you get irked with my *dog* stories [and some of you love them, lol] but they really aren’t just dog stories...they are about creating a safe place where healing happens. Transforming mud, slippery slip into a spa mud bath that makes coats silky, transforming throwaways into beautiful dogs who are wanted and cherished. It's an awful like what we do in Radiant Recovery® (smile)...paw on paw.

Ok, so this is Ranch week. People are coming from all over. I will trust that it will not rain so that Carol can swim in the pool and I can host everyone for dinner at my house. But no matter what, rain or blue skies, we will celebrate joy and the power of what we do.

No classes will begin Wednesday, April 29, 2015. This is Ranch week.

This class will begin Wednesday, May 6, 2015. Please click on the name of the class and it will take you to the registration page:

Brain Chemistry Serotonin (2 weeks) - is the other of our most popular classes. It helps you make sense of why the potato works, why you have a problem in the winter and how Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can play into this. If you munch in your mind, if you are depressed or edgy or feel sad, this is the class for you.

A number of you have asked me how the classes work. Check the class list page for more information on this. And please go read the questions and answers before you write to me. If you have trouble getting through the process, write the tech forum.

Be sure to visit our Radiant Recovery website and Community Forum regularly.



**Quote From Kathleen **

You are in the process of becoming more aware, more attentive, and more committed as you go. It is cumulative.


**Testimonial of the Week **

Of course I have feelings. I should have clarified what I meant by "negative feelings and thoughts." It's that stuff we sometimes refer to as "negativity" in a person -- the gloom and doom, people do it to me, I hate myself, life sucks, you can't trust anybody, I'm totally fat and stupid, I can't handle life, I hate this whole damn world, life is so unfair -- you get the idea.

My sister is dying -- I feel very sad about it. My grandson is blossoming in the theatre -- I feel very happy about it. My life is changing directions -- I feel very excited about it. Lots of feelings. No negative stuff.

The anger piece is interesting -- you suggest maybe we have anger to tell us something is not right in our life and to make changes. Maybe we do, but I don't seem to operate that way anymore. I make changes because I notice something new popping up that is more appealing than the present so I move toward it, whether it is more direct communication or finding a new place to live.

I live with honesty, integrity and fullness out of a deep appreciation and love for life and people around me, not out of feeling guilty or miserable or judged about bad behavior. This is different than it was before I did the food.

As you can imagine, I live with deep gratitude for finding this program that has changed my life in many wonderful ways.

Joy S


**Notes from the Forum **

So do I! funnily enough I remember being five and anxious.... and ongoing. I am so glad you are feeling good - well in many ways, feeling the emotions, noticing the non anxiety.

I stopped eating wheat many years ago ? probably about 25 ish ? as I was really addictive with it. I could see even then that the inability to leave a loaf alone was not right, so you can imagine the reassurance of PnP when I discovered it later on, to validate and explain my experiences.

Looking at gluten was a big part of my early step seven. My journal/body had some very clear messages about that so I have been GF about 10 years now, and it is so easy.

Dairy ? well it is not quite as clear as dairy is not so dramatic for me but it is insidious. It creeps up on me and makes my ears go funny, LOL. So I am quite often having a journal focus on that one. But once again you reminded me of how important journal is to me. Without it, I would forget. Thanks.



** Radiant Recovery® Store **

I was having breakfast and thought it would be fun to report it here.

I have a SHAKE made with Restore , almond milk and some baby oatmeal.

I add some of the vanilla flavoring from the store. I got a big bottle of it and put an olive oil spout on the top.

I also add some of the All-One vitamins. I use the pink can with the antioxidants in it.

I put all this in a pink shaker bottle and take it in the car with me when I go out for a meeting.

Takes about 3.5 minutes to put together.

Please send questions and suggestions. I love hearing from you and truly want to help you do your program better.


**Radiant Kitchen **

My favorite shake these days is double chocolate. I don't make it every day, because it takes a little longer than most shakes. But I like it. It is not at all sweet, so feel free to use my suggestions to make it sweeter. Sugar is fine on Step One.

I've tried to make the recipe somewhat international, but I don't do too well on that. Fortunately, for readers from outside the U.S., the amounts are not at all precise. I never make mine the same way twice (smile). Once you get the technique down, it's easy to play with amounts.

  • Unsweetened chocolate almond milk (sweetened is OK on Step One)
  • About 1/3 banana (more is fine if you want it)
  • Protein powder (Restore is the best!!)
  • A tablespoon of cocoa powder (not cocoa mix -- the powdered cocoa you use for baking or for making cocoa from scratch, like Green & Black's or Hershey's) -- doesn't have to be exact measure, use what you want
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla (1/2 UK tablespoon would work -- this isn't exact)
  • 1/2 cup (4 fluid ounces, or 125 ml is close enough) water
  • ice
I "bloom" the cocoa in a small saucepan by putting about half a cup of water with the cocoa (Step One people who want a sweeter shake should mix 1 tablespoon of sugar with the cocoa before adding the water). Bring the water to a boil, stirring constantly (it doesn't take long).

Take the pan off the stove. Add the almond milk. I use about a cup. You can vary this, to taste. Stir well.

Pour the cocoa/almond milk mixture into a blender. Add banana, vanilla, and protein powder. Blend.

Add ice if desired to make the shake cold and thick. Blend well.
For great program-friendly recipes, check out our Cookbook in the store and visit our online Radiant Recipes site.


**Radiant YLD **

The importance of being steady in your program is one of the hot topics of discussion on the YLD list this week. But, did you know you can join YLD at any stage in the steps? We chat about everything from getting your body moving to sharing our favourite ideas on what to do with those veggies! Steph x

If you would like to join us in YLD, come find us here


**Radiant Living **

I hope all the conversations members are reading the chats. They are totally remarkable. Sometimes I go back and reread and think, "Golly, how amazing." Seems like an incredible gift.

If you would like to join us in Radiant Living, come find us here


**I Am Gaining Weight **
Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D.

We talked about weight loss at Ranch. In the past week I have been reading emails from people who are concerned that they are doing the program and not losing weight.

You do NOT have to gain weight on the program. And when it is time, you absolutely can lose weight. Let’s look at these two issues: Here are the reasons you might gain weight when you start.
  1. You are still eating lots of sugar and white stuff.

  2. You used to skip breakfast and not eat 'til evening.

  3. You do not move or exercise and you are still having sugar and white stuff.

  4. You have been doing low or no carb and when you add in some browns, your body gets all excited.
It is your addict brain that says, "OMG, I will GAIN weight if I eat breakfast..."rather than, "Oh my, I have been managing my sugar addiction and weight by not eating the rest of the day."

So, the question is, do you have to gain weight? The answer, of course, is no... you simply get your motivation in gear and move along in the process. Step three has a huge impact on the sugar and white stuff.

Now, I know that some people think I am mean or curt or unloving when I say these things, but honestly, all the drama about weight really is not necessary. If you are in a panic about it, you can go and do a diet. You know how to pick one. See if it helps you get settled. See if it heals your sugar addiction. See if you feel better and clear and not frantic. If all that works, you can simply do the diet and then come back.

I believe your weight is only the tiny tip of the iceberg. If you chip it off, the rest of the iceberg is just going to surface anyway. What the program will do is take care of the iceberg...melt it...and the weight loss part of it comes after taking care of the iceberg, so when you do it, nothing else surfaces.

I got an email from a woman in the First Steps in Losing Weight Class. She said she had been working on the program for a year and had gained 20 pounds. Ok, so that made sense to me. It fit with what I had said above. Then she said...

*According to DH I have about 1,000 calories for breakfast alone, which I am comfortable with, because that gives me the protein start I need for my day. The other meals tend not to be so calorie heavy, I think. I try to not keep track of the calories and focus on the protein and whole grain aspect instead.*

Now, at first glance, it sounded consistent with what I have been saying over and over for a long time. Except the 1,000 calorie breakfast part. That one just stopped me cold. How could that be? I wrote her and asked her if she would share with me what she has for breakfast. She did. Here is what she wrote:

*Here's my usual breakfast. I have it within 20 minutes of waking up.

1 tablespoon butter to grease the pan, mushrooms (usually have them on hand, sometimes not), 3 eggs (21 gr), 2 sl amer cheese (6 gr) or 1 sl harder cheese (4 gr), 1 sl whole grain bread w/ 1 tablespoon natural p.b. (3 gr for pb - no sugar or oil added). Depending on my mood, sometimes I'll add a light sprinkle of cinnamon sugar onto the p.b. (probably about 1/8-1/4 tsp sugar), 16 oz whole milk. Sometimes I will also throw in an ounce of deli meat or leftover meat from the night before into the eggs.

If I remember correctly, I don't count the protein from the milk or the bread. Bread counts as my whole grain and milk doesn't hold enough for protein count. Feedback would be great.*

I knew that her breakfast was not all that different from what a lot of folks have. But how could it be 1,000 calories? So I went over the the UDSA calculator site and actually counted calories. I think this is the first time I have counted calories since I was 8 years old and I was mimicking my mother who used to count calories every day. Here is what I found.

  • 1 tablespoon butter to grease the pan, 102
  • mushrooms (usually have them on hand, sometimes not), didn't count
  • 3 eggs (21 gr), 210
  • 2 sl amer cheese (6 gr), 158
  • 1 sl harder cheese (4 gr), 113
  • 1 sl whole grain bread w/, 73
  • 1 tablespoon natural p.b. (3 gr for pb - no sugar or oil added), depending on my mood, sometimes I'll add a light sprinkle of cinnamon sugar onto the p.b. (probably about 1/8-1/4 tsp sugar), 94
  • 16 oz whole milk, 300
Here was my response to her...

If you look at the numbers, you can see that the milk is 30% of the total. If you took out the butter, the peanut butter and the milk, you would halve your calories...and if you changed out the cheese to 1 cup of no-fat cottage cheese, you would go from 260 calories to 100 and get 15 grams of protein instead of 10.

So that would be about 380 calories instead of 1,000+.

I sat there and I was simply dumbfounded. I realized that I have done you all a big disservice. I did not factor this stuff in.

It is a difference of 60% of energy intake (yes, that would be calories)... I realized that I don’t think about this because I don’t think about calories. I think I have thrown out a crucial component.

So maybe we need to add in how to make some choices around which foods you choose to stack up that protein.

A second issue I have seen over and over...people write me and say “Kathleen, I have done the steps. I am on step 7 but I am not losing weight.” I always ask to see the food journal. And I ask to hear about their exercise. Almost always, these two things show not enough food and LOTS of exercise. It is as if when people get to step 7, they revert to diet mind and eat less and stop paying attention to amounts.

Weight loss for sugar-sensitive people is complex. Diets actually do not work for us. Our bodies work differently. We need a special package to lose weight. We need to heal the addiction, we need to be fit, we need to eat to match our level of fitness and we need to heal the emotional context behind our weight. If we do those things, we get a life that you cannot imagine. If we don’t we will stay stuck with the anguish about our weight.

Everything starts with healing the addiction and creating balance in our bodies. This is what the steps are designed to do. This is why we say focus on the steps, focus on the steps.

I will be writing about this lots more over the next months. I am also going to be offering a series of classes about body image and finding the body that suits who we are.

It is a process. And we have a solution.


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Until next time!
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©2015 Kathleen DesMaisons. All rights reserved. You are free to use or transmit this article to your ezine or website as long as you leave the content unaltered, use this attribution: "By Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. of Radiant Recovery®", and notify kathleen@radiantrecovery.com of the location. Please visit the Radiant Recovery® website at http://www.radiantrecovery.com for additional resources on sugar sensitivity and healing addiction.

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