Hi Patty,
Your post really touched me- what you've shared is sooo familiar to me. When I first found the program I was really sick as a result of uncontrolled high BS as a Type II Diabetic. Also OA (and FA) background, and a long term history of the ole restriction/cant stop eating sugar YoYo.
Being diabetic, gravely ill and 200+ lbs overweight my perspective was I needed to get off sugar NOW! and so I would dive in and try taking it all out at once. As with the dieting and any kind of restriction, I could only hold abstinance from sugar just so long.
Turns out that is just how addiction works. Yup. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't hold it. I sure used a lot of time and energy trying though, that could have better me into the true healing sooner.. which of course is more easy to see now that I can look back.
What has changed these patterns, is learning to go more slowly and work the Steps in order one at a time- letting people help me and focusing on adding IN what brings the healing first, and then when it is time taking sugar out is way easier, and far more comfortable to maintain.
And the coolest thing is that we have very clear instructions and guidance to follow in how to get there. It took me a while and a whole bunch of restarts and crashes trying to do it *my* way to learn how follow the directions the way the program is designed but once I did- holy smokes! This really works! Just like everyone said it would! LOL.
And so where I am now, is with a solid steady program that is not at all hard to hold. In fact, I really enjoy it! My BS and diabetes is under good control and while healing the addiction has been my main focus over weight loss, I've also lost well over 100 lbs.
The best advice I could offer in how to be able to have this too is to keep asking for advice, and accept the guidance that is offered. The community is full of kind and generous people with *alot* of steady program skill that they enjoy sharing to help others achieve this too...and will walk with you, guide you in building a steady program of your own. Please, don't be afraid to ask. Folks here will love to help!
Doing the program is a lifesaver, this I know- truly and it is so terrific that you are here.
Diane
: i can't tell you how many times I
: have gone to RR, signed up,
: selected communities, and by
: passed step 1...thinking I new it
: all. I come from an Overeaters
: Anonymous back ground and starved
: my way to being 80 pounds thinner.
: I ate 3 meals a day, weighed and
: measured meals, called my sponsor
: to tell her what I was eating for
: the day and went to 3 meetings a
: week...I went crazy. After I left
: OA, I went on, got my undergrad
: degree and masters degree in
: education and went on with the
: business of living. I tried OA a
: time or 2 but counldn't adhere to
: the strictness of the . program. I
: have tried but I CAN NOT DO IT.the
: whole thought of it depresses me.
: I now have full blown diabetes and
: my blood sugars are out of
: control. I still eat sugar like
: crazy and say I will start my
: sugar free diet each new day. I
: have been messing around with this
: issue for 40 years. It is going to
: kill me if I don't get help. I
: need to eliminate sugar from my
: diet, I need to eat browns. I need
: to eat more veggies and the
: healthy list goes on. If you have
: ever lost weight in this RR
: program, please write back. I am
: chasing my tail and I don't have
: lots of tail chasing time left. I
: need to get healthy....Thanks.