Jeannie
Sandy, UT
Orcas Island, WA




Step 3

All my life, I battled a little weight problem and a big compulsion to eat sweets and whites. After I turned 40, I plunged headfirst into junk food, and my mood took a dive as well. The worse I felt, the worse I ate. The worse I ate, the deeper I fell into depression and anxiety.

I came to Radiant Recovery in 2002 and did the program my way--fast and in diet head. After about 3 months, I detoxed from sugar. I remember how weird it felt to write *steady* and *calm* in my journal, day after day. I also remember wondering where my radiance was.

I hung on for 6 months so I could join the YLD active weightloss group. Immediately my diet head, which had never gone away, took over. Ironically, I had lost almost all the weight I needed to, and pretty fast, but I began to feel horribly inadequate about losing those last few pounds. I never posted my concerns--I didn’t post much, and when I did and got feedback, I didn’t listen very well. Instead, I slipped away from the community and started yet another diet.

Not surprisingly, after the dust cleared from that diet, I was fatter than I’d ever been and desperately depressed and anxious as well. My life had shrunken down to a tiny remnant of the rich, full life I once had. I came back to Radiant Recovery on January 1, 2005, finally willing to do the program as written.

I decided to focus on one step at a time, clearing my mind of everything I thought I knew about the program. I felt very uncomfortable posting, but I made a commitment to do it anyway every single day. Some days it took all I had just to push that submit button. I started to connect and listen and work the program. One by one, the steps blossomed inside me. I detoxed from sugar in June of 2005, very grateful to get back to that steady place.

The program has brought me everything I wanted from it and more. The end of my bingeing on step 3 brought relief to my soul and a stable weight to my body for the first time in 10 years. Next, with the potato in place, my depression lifted almost overnight, though I was still miserably anxious. Months later, with a solid step 7, my anxiety faded, and I was ready to embrace life again. And as my life got bigger, my body started to release weight, slowly and steadily, without deprivation, obsession, or extremes.

Most of all, this program has given me the opportunity to participate in a vibrant, healthy community based on respect and love. It is an honor to be here.

Hi everyone, I'm Jim, and I live in Bloomington, Indiana with my wife, two sons, and dog. I'm a sugar addict from a family of sugar addicts. I started dieting when I was in middle school, and as is true of so many other people, for years my self-esteem was tied to my weight.

In 2001, my first son was born. I got really depressed. I was scared and tired. I also was desperate to lose weight and was considering bariatric surgery. My doctor put me on Meridia, and it helped for a while. I did Weight Watchers and lost 100 pounds. Then, I'm sure you can guess what happened. I went off the med (because it's very dangerous), crashed, and gained it all back. My second son was born in 2004. Again, I became depressed. I started to have anger problems and lost my motivation to do much of anything, including nurturing my relationship with my wife. My doctor put me on Wellbutrin. It helped, but it wasn't the answer.

I found Radiant Recovery in early 2005. I did the typical all-at-once program and crashed. Then, in the fall of 2005, I came back, connected with the community, and listened. It has made such a huge difference. I'm now a good dad, a good husband, and a good friend. I'm off medication. I don't binge eat. I don't yell at my kids. I respond to my wife's need for connection. Life is good!

I am a musician, an athlete and a fundraiser for a nonprofit organization. I live in Massachusetts with my wife, our two kitties and an occasional bear who gets into my kitchen and steals my snacks.

In my late 20’s I vowed never to diet again and reveled in the freedom. But I could never make the sugar piece comfortable. I would eat way too much or white knuckle not eating it. But I didn’t want to take it out completely because in my head that was “dieting.”

When I started running a few years ago, I knew it was time to clean up my eating. I tried the steps again (like many, I’d done them previously all at once and then given up). Slowly, I got to step 5 and then came online to this wonderful community. I finally understood that rather than a troublesome food to be integrated into my non-dieting, sugar was a drug I was addicted to and making deals with. At that point I was ready to let it go for good.

I am still amazed every day that there are no more black holes, temper tantrums and feelings of abandonment. The steps have helped me become more emotionally mature and opened my heart. I am grateful to be part of this community of healing.

Kath
Perth, Australia




Food and Budget, Step 4

I have been doing the food since 2000, when a friend loaned me her copy of PNP as we recovered from a series of floods through our wheatbelt country town in Western Australia. My depression and constant illness had been a major drain on those who loved me, and on my effectiveness as a wife, and mother to 4 kids, let alone as a contributor to the church, school, or community. The healing that doing the food has brought to my body and my whole life is beyond what I had imagined was possible.

Now I live in Perth, with my family of 4 SS teens and young adults all doing the food with me, and my very patient non SS DH who does the food with us regardless. Ashleigh, our black and white cat talks to other pets of radiant people on the radiantpets list. She also helps me to look after our baby granddaughter when she comes to stay.

Who would have thought that spending a bit more on our food, but more wisely, could actually save us money overall? It certainly has reduced our medical and pharmaceutical bills, and we are much happier healthier people. Teenage mood swings and other 'typical' problems are a rarity in our household!

I am gradually becoming less timid, and feeling less inadequate. As I heal I am establishing an online Nutrition business, calling on the Nutrition and Food Science degree I had gained before our children arrived. Somehow doing the food has made it possible to *know* the things I learned. Now I can apply the healing, to myslef, and compassionately with my clients. My involvement in RR has significantly informed and shaped the outlook I had after my theoretical and clinical training. My ongoing learning in this area has also been informed by the practicalities and experience born of my own growth and of voluntary work I have been involved in, with people on low incomes in rural Western Australia.

Now living in the city, I really appreciate the abundant availability of fresh vegetables. Colourful and flavoursome, they add texture and variety to the foods I can prepare. And they make a wonderful colourful decorative arrangement in baskets in my kitchen while they are waiting to be cooked!

I enjoy cooking, adapting recipes to become healthy, yummy and program friendly. I have cooked for church camps, and school canteens, and continue to enjoy cooking for myself and my family. It is my joy to share my experiences with others on the journey.

Kitty
Colorado Springs, CO






Yelp, Logistics, Garden

I've done a lot of programs and read a lot of books over the years. Some of them worked for a while. But most of the time I was struggling and had these big energy slumps in the afternoon. Finally I let up, and gained back the weight I lost, and let my exercise program (which I loved) lapse. I wasn't sure what was wrong.

But when I read a review of Potatoes Not Prozac and read the words "sugar sensitivity", I had a very strong feeling this was about me. When I read the book, the pieces fell into place and it just blew me away. Though I haven't had problems with depression for about 15 years, I recognized many of the other symptoms of sugar sensitivity in myself.

I read the book and found the web site in December, 1998, and became actively involved in the community when I joined YLD in August of 1999. I am one of the people who answers technical questions (e.g. about the email groups or the web site).

Hi, I'm Linda. When asked, "How has Potatoes Not Prozac changed my life," my response is, "I actually have a life instead of an existence."

I came to the program ten years ago depressed, socially phobic and out of control.

Today I am an introvert who is willing to try new things and am willing to make spontaneous choices even when it means stepping into the unknown.

I'm flexible and more able to recognize when I am getting off track and can make adjustments as needed instead of being blinded by a problem for weeks or months at a time.

I live in hope instead of fear.

It's great to be a calming influence in my workplace rather than invisible or wallpaper.

I have done the food for many years. Last fall, a diagnosis of diabetes catapulted me into really doing the program with fierce vigor. My blood sugars are normal and I have lost 60 pounds. I love doing the food and am happy to help in whatever way I can.

My bookshelf was groaning with self help books, I’d read them all. I’d stopped drinking alcohol, and had been in therapy for over two years. So why did I still feel hopeless, a failure, less than? Life wasn’t different enough.

Reading ‘Potatoes not Prozac’ was like coming home. ‘This woman knows me’ I thought! It was astonishing yet reassuring to read of my feelings and behaviours on every page, and none of it was my fault.

I loved learning about the biochemistry of sugar sensitivity in accessible terms, and discovering the framework of six simple steps to recovery. Immediately there was a message of hope.

Better still, the programme worked!

My life is unrecognizable since November 2005 when I had been morbid, trapped, and full of shame at my pathetic lack of willpower. Within six months I had left depression behind, and now I have friends, a job, a life.

There is a way out whatever your drinking or using story. I hope you can join us.

Hi, I’m Selena and I live in Bristol in the west of England with my husband and two daughters.

Before I found RR I thought I had an eating disorder, no willpower, psychological problems, the works. I would drag myself through the day bingeing for Britain, being cranky, moody, depressed, and totally bonkers. I thought the answer was to lose weight so I tried every diet known to man. But they made absolutely no difference to how I felt inside. Sure, I lost some weight, but it kept coming back bringing some of its friends with it. I knew deep down that there was something more to it but I didn’t know what.

I found Potatoes not Prozac when it first appeared in 1999 as I was always on the lookout for the latest diet/self-help/personal development book. When I read it, I was amazed that Kathleen had told *my* story. But the book slowly got left on the bookshelf for five years when the next diet book took its place. When I picked it up again I spent another 2 years messing around with steps 1 and 2, only half-heartedly doing the program.

I finally started to commit to the program when I gave myself the gift of a YLD membership. I started turning up at Eurochat every week and my program began to blossom!

In June 2007 I detoxed completely by accident. I was planning to wait until the September when my children went back to school so that I could still participate in summer ice creams. But my body had other ideas. Sugar had been gone from my life for 3 days before I even noticed it was missing! I still find that a miracle - I cannot believe how much my life has changed through *doing the food* and showing up!

If you had told me that I would wake up each morning with a spring in my step, have *happy* as my default setting, like both my self and my body, and not crave sugar or white things then I would have laughed until I was sore.

I am so very grateful for this program. It is nice to have the opportunity to give something back to the Community who have helped me so much on my journey.

Stacey






Pregnancy and Nursing

When I think back to my childhood it was filled with sugary desserts and my mother's side is known for being very good dessert bakers, the really sweet yummy kind. I had been on and off diets since the age of 13, yo-yoing up and down with my weight and being pretty obsessed with my weight and what I ate. I also felt foggy headed much of the time and I liked to isolate. I have also always had some mild anxiety and fatigue.

From the time I was 15 my 2 interests were nutrition and baking sugary desserts. I went to a nutritionist when I was 15 who taught me how bad refined foods (specifically sugar and whites) are for me. I knew she was right, I just couldn't stick to this forever. I would go back and forth with the 2 ways of eating and I never understood why I was so obsessed either one way or the other at all times.

In 1998 I was standing in a bookstore and browsing. In front of me Potatoes not Prozac popped out and something in me just had to look at it. I read the first page and thought "How does this woman know me so well?" I brought it home and showed DH who agreed, with a big smile, that this was me and that I should start reading.

Of course I thought I was special and that all that I had to do was stop eating sugar. So for a few months I didn't really eat much sugar (so I thought - there were probably some coverts), except for special occasions and holidays. Then some friends opened up a cafe and asked if I would provide the desserts. I had always wanted to have my own baking company so I said Yes! At the same time I was asked to help out with the accounting for a family-owned soft pretzel company - the all white kind. I said yes to this too. And I had been addicted to exercise at the same time. It was a great way to cut a deal to eat the sweets and whites. For the next 5 months I worked really really hard at both jobs, still overexercised and ate all of the sugars and whites surrounding me. I wasn't a good baker if I didn't taste. Right?!

This brings me to January 1999. I started to crash physically and I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia and later IBD. My doctor tried to put me on Zoloft and all that did was help a little of my afternoon brain fog. I stopped taking it. He then told me to see another doctor who told me I was low in potassium and to drink Gatorade. I did this for a few days and realized Yuck! I knew in my heart that the answer for me was in nutrition. Luckily I had a cousin who was a nutritionist and specialized in diseases and issues like mine rather than just weight. With her I cut out sugar, wheat and dairy and had protein with every meal. I cut this out rather quickly. She even had me eat a protein vitamin shake for breakfast. I remember showing her PnP and I bought her a copy. She was very impressed with it, but we didn't follow all of the steps. What I was doing helped, but not nearly enough. So for the next few years I saw two different integrative medical doctors who had me take many supplements and nutritional IVs. They also had me on a hypoglycemic diet with very few carbs and no sugars. I was also pregnant twice during these years and ate sugar while preganant and some while nursing. Now I think I know why my babies screamed so much for the first year.

After DD #2 was 6 months old I found that I was only eating sugar once in a while for special occasions. I noticed that I snapped at DDs and DH the day after eating sugar and I felt awful for 4 days. So one day I decided this is not for me and I stopped all sugar for good. It was a very easy detox because I had already weaned so much. But I still wasn't healed from the CFS/FM and my doctor had me on different allergy/elimination diets. Then I tried the Fat Flush Plan and felt a bit better for about 2 months. Then one more elimination diet and I was barely eating anything except fish and wild rice. And the CFS/FM , IBD and allergies were still really bad.

So in March 2005 I took out all of Kathleen's books for the 10th time (I glanced at them repeatedly over the years, but mentally was not ready). I was already having three meals a day with no sugars or whites so I thought I have to try this for real! I started connecting online and by July I was on step 7. I am now 1 year on step 7 and I feel better than I ever have mentally. And physically I am so much better too. I rarely see my doctor and when I do he has said "Wow, whatever you are doing is really great" and he proceeded to describe Radiance! He even requested that I find all of Kathleen's books for him. He now has his own set in his office. I am off my thyroid meds and allergy shots too.

My CFS/FM and IBD are so much under control and really are only surfacing with stress and lack of sleep. This program is truly amazing and completely changes life for the better!

Thank you Kathleen!

Terri
Barstow, CA






Step 2

When Amazon.com kept trying to get me to buy Potatoes Not Prozac, I really wasn't interested because I knew I wasn't depressed. I had dealt with depression many times throughout my life and I was fat, not depressed, at that time. I was on a quest to find the plan that would solve my weight problem.

When SARP was released in December 2000, I was ready for the message. I started reading SARP and I couldn't put it down. I knew I had found the missing piece. I read it in 2 days (while polishing off my chocolate stash). I had myself convinced that I was ready to do all 6 steps on January 1. My detox was awful!!! I had to take time off work, I was so sick. Luckily, the people on the forum were there to tell me to slow down and to provide the support I needed as my body healed.

Continuing my quest, I joined YLD and after I got steady doing the food, I realized I had been the victim of my biochemistry. I wasn't fat, I was depressed! Now I love my body. I love the radiance that comes from something so simple as eating right for my body. And even though I stopped worrying about losing weight, my body has responded and I have continued to lose weight at her pace.

I love being able to serve in the Radiant Recovery community. I'm thankful for this program and the profound impact it has in helping me lead a radiant life and invite anyone who wants the same to connect with us in the online community.

Hi! I’m Tina, from Baltimore, Maryland. I am the liaison for the Eating Disorders list. I’m very excited to be serving this community.

As a teenager, I felt out of place and different than my peers. I was very tall for my age and felt uncomfortable with how I looked. I got sober at the age of 17 and a few years into my recovery, my life was again unmanageable in regards to my sugar consumption and eating-disordered behavior. I was undereating and exercising compulsively. When I came to RR I was desperate to heal my body and felt that I was at the end of the road. Other diets, food programs, and *abstinence* had not worked for me.

One day a friend gave me the web address Radiant Recovery on a post-it note. She said, 'If it fits, keep it, if not, throw it away!' I went to the website as soon as I got home, and oh yes, it fit! I made my home in the community on the Eating Disorders list and immediately felt a strong sense of connection and support. My time doing this program has been nothing short of miraculous. The healing of doing the food has gone far beyond what I ever imagined it could be. I am so grateful for Kathleen, her work, and this community!

When I discovered Radiant Recovery in 2001, I was searching the internet for more information about depression. As a therapist, I knew all of the traditional ways to treat depression and had been through them all, never finding the key for my own depression. At radiantrecovery.com I read everything Kathleen had written, then bought the books, and jumped into the program by posting on the forum. I never looked back and by the end of the first week I felt so much better I knew I was on the right track.

I discovered a new facet to addiction, sugar addiction. It finally dawned on me how I could have been born into the midst of a family of alcoholics and not be one myself. I was, instead, a sugar addict, and just as seriously affected by it as any other drug addict by their drug. I learned that as a sugar addict not only did I compulsively eat sugar, but that I could not follow directions, respect authority, think clearly, share honestly, or trust others.

After six months, I wouldn't have traded this program for all the gold in Fort Knox, because I had gained so much happiness and felt totally depression free. Although I still had much healing to do, I knew I had found a program that really worked for me. No more empty promises and shattered dreams of enjoying life. This program gave me everything I was searching for and so much more. In my continuing years on this program I believe that I grow more deeply to be the me I was created to be. I feel alive, connected, focused and serene. Physically, all of my aches and pains went away and I feel as healthy now as years ago in my forties. Life is good!

Vicki
Hamden, CT






Weight Loss

Hi! I'm Vicki G. My DP and I have been married more than 40 years, have 2 wonderful grown daughters and 2 grandsons and 1 granddaughter, who are the light of my life.

My mom tells everyone that she put me on a diet when I was 5, so I grew up "knowing" that I was "fat" and needed to be on a diet most of the time. Looking back at photos, I know now that I was a normal weight as a child. However, years and years of yo-yo dieting added up to my being about 80 pounds overweight by the time I heard about The Sugar Addict's Total Recovery Program. I had given up on diets by then and had just decided that I would be a fat grandma for the rest of my life. I was 55 at the time.

I started step 1 in February 2001. Everything I read in SARP resonated with me and I loved that it focused on healing the reason for my inability to control my eating. But, being a typical sugar sensitive person, I just knew that with all my experience with all those previous diets, I could do the 7 steps slowly in about 2 weeks. (grin) Was I ever surprised when it took me at least 6 weeks to learn to eat breakfast within an hour of waking!

So, I decided to focus on healing. After all, I knew I could lose weight on a diet, but then I couldn't maintain the loss and always ended up heavier than when I started. With lots of help and encouragement from this wonderful community, I was able to work my way through the steps. Step 3 was particularly hard for me, as I had never eaten meals at regular times.

Over the past years I have learned so much about my body and myself just by changing what and when I eat. My body now trusts me to feed her on a regular schedule and not starve her, so she is willing to let go of the extra weight. I have lost weight very slowly, and as long as I pay attention to my program - eat on time, eat appropriate portions, get enough sleep, take care of my BE's - I can continue to lose or maintain a healthy weight. No stress about it. Just one good choice at a time, and I am a happy, peaceful serene woman who can juggle family and work gracefully. By making my recovery a priority, I am more available to others.

I love working with this community and serving wherever I am needed. I have worked with many of the lists and never tire of the questions and fears that new people have when they find this program. They remind me of where I started and how far I have come. That is what enables me to keep making those good choices - one at a time.