Leadership Team

Kathleen
Albuquerque, NM

A few years ago, we set up the online support groups. We had 2 of them. It seems to be a system that works (smile). Now this whole system provides a way for folks to make a connection and talk about healing.

I am the pinch hitter for the groups that are waiting for their own liaison. My groups change from time to time. Come on over and check things out!!!

Allison
Albuquerque, NM






Community Forum, Southwest

In November, 1998, I was 39 years old, but I felt as if I were 80. All day, I was running on nervous energy. At night, I was bone tired. I had to eat every couple of hours to avoid bloodsugar crashes. And my problems weren't just physical. I'd been depressed to varying degrees ever since I was 13. I hated myself. I felt unloved - I thought even God had it in for me and the world was out to crush me. I had voices in my head telling me I was stupid, ugly, a loser. I didn't dare be happy, because I thought I'd be punished. I had drama going on in my head all the time. I'd tried group therapy, self help books and workshops, and even Prozac, but nothing worked.

My massage therapist told me I needed more protein, and suggested the Zone diet, so I bought the book. I noticed that the only way to eat what I felt was an adequate amount of food was to stick to protein, vegetables and whole grains. Since wasn't trying to lose weight, I figured I'd eat sugar on special occasions, and eat this new way the rest of the time. I changed my eating habits. I felt awful for a week, and then I began to feel much better. Then came a party at a friend's house. I ate sugar, junk food, and drank champagne. Wow! I'd never realized how bad sugar made me feel when I was eating it regularly. But the connection between feeling awful and eating sugar was really clear when I ate it after not having it for a while.

Shortly after that, I read about Potatoes not Prozac in Christianne Northrup's newsletter. Wow, this sounded like the answer to the question I'd been asking myself for years: What on earth is wrong with me? I rushed out to the bookstore to check the book out. I was skimming chapter three, and I saw something that changed my whole life. There was everything I hated about myself, listed as symptoms of low beta endorphin. These things weren't personality traits, they were symptoms of an imbalance!

I switched from the Zone to PnP. Back then, the Community Forum was the only on line resource available, and I began to hang out there. I've been there ever since. I go there just about every day forinspiration.

My life has totally changed since I found the program. I have a positive attitude most of the time. I feel hope. I don't take everything personally. I actually finish creative projects now. I don't have voices in my head. My compulsive shopping stopped, without my even having to try. I knew I had truly found radiancewhen one day I found myself feeling grateful to be alive. Life had always felt like a burden before, something I had to endured.

Since then my life has changed in ways I never dreamed

Ann Margaret
Ludlow, VT






Step 7

My name is Ann Margaret McKillop. Like all sugar sensitive people, I have been consuming and consumed by sugar all my life. As a child, I mastered the art of eating an entire pack of "Now-an-Laters" (ironic name, huh?) in the time it took me to walk home from the grocery store. In high school after track practice, I would devour a big bowl of ice cream with my dad. But it wasn't until I got older and read Kathleen's books that I realized what the problem was. You see, I thought I had a weight problem, but I had been able to keep it in check because I was a competitive athlete. But once all my injuries caught up with me and I wasn't able to run, the weight came on in a rush. I spent much of my thirties desperately trying to find an answer and also trying to revive my running as I knew THAT would solve the problem. I tried every diet that you have all heard of and a few I am sure you have not, including a wheat grass diet and injections to kill off the sugar in my system. Of course nothing lasted because nothing healed the problem. After reading SARP, I realized that I did not have a weight problem--I had a sugar problem.

After almost two years of being detoxed, I can hardly believe the changes in my life. I am less prone to the blues, I am playful and alive, I have loads of fun with my dog, and I am much less reactive. I still have areas to work on, including self-esteem, but I have a calm about those things as I know they will heal with time. I am optimistic about the future and glad to be alive. What a blessing it was the day my sister sent me the link to the Radiant Recovery website!

Carol
St Louis, MO





Bigones

I learned of the program in 2001 and at that time, I was just about ready to give up on trying to deal with my compulsive overeating/sugar addiction, which I knew I had, because I had tried and failed so many times before. I have been a big one since age 13 and I couldn't remember what it felt like to weigh less and wear regular size clothes. I had lost weight before, and then gained it back plus more many times. Worse for me than the weight was the emotional rollercoaster I was on. I was depressed, low on energy and didn't know it at the time, but I was getting very sick. My father was an alcoholic and my mother is sugar sensitive and I knew I had a problem with sugar.

In 1992 I felt so desperate that I checked myself into an eating disorders unit which was very scary because I knew that I would be giving up control over my food. The detox was very hard as they got you off of sugar, diet sweeteners and caffeine all at the same time. I did well for a while, but not knowing about the effects of whites etc. eventually I relapsed. I believe that God led me to this program as I surely would have never found it on my own and it was at the time when I had hit rock bottom and was willing to make one last huge effort to deal with this monster that was running my life.

I learned of RR from a woman at a convention that summer who was going to her room to order a baked potato from room service and I was intrigued with why she was doing so. She shared the program with me and I was pretty sure I had found the only answer for me. I tried to work the program slowly so that I wouldn't sabotage myself and want to give up. I went to my first Ranch in 2002 and moved from step 1 to step 2. Each time I went to Ranch it enabled me to take my program to the next step/level. Steps 1 through 3 were my foundation. When I reached step 4 I began to feel more steady and had better impulse control, ate fewer sweets and started sleeping better. I found step 5 to be a challenge learning about browns and finding them hard to find when eating out. Step 6 was very scary for me because of the sugar detox I had gone through before in the hospital but I worked with Kathleen and it was very gentle and not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be.

I have my life back again because of this program. I am on even keel emotionally most of the time, have lost a significant amount of weight and have kept it off, and my health has improved tremendously. All of my blood work looks good now and my triglycerides have come down from 190 to 86. My arthritis is less painful and my heart and asthma have all improved because there is less inflammation in my body now that I am off of sugar and white flour foods. My thyroid which was way out of range is now functioning much better. I have also been able to get off of my cpap machine that I had to use for sleep apnea and hated with a passion. I have made movement a regular part of my life and see the many benefits of doing it and make myself move even when I don't feel like it because I now know what a difference it makes.

I think that if it were not for this program that I might not be alive today as I was quite ill just 3 years ago and now my health is improving every day. I consider it a privilege to do service for the RR community and have also enjoyed having a local support group here where I live in St. Louis, MO. I have so many opportunities to share the gifts of this program with people everywhere I go because the changes in both my body and my spirit are so evident that people ask me questions regularly. Radiance is no longer far off in the distance, but is a part of my life every day.

I found Radiant Recovery in the spring of 2004. I had been very ill with both a strep and a yeast infection. Neither was in an area of the body where one thinks they would be and I had no idea I was as ill as I was. I kept trying to fix my problem with healthy eating including no sugar. During this time, I purchased a product that was advertising Potatoes Not Prozac. I checked the book from the library and read it in one fell swoop. Then I checked out The Sugar Addicts Total Recovery Program and purchased that book. I began to follow the program to the best of my ability. I zoomed through the steps and did actually feel better, but because I hadn't really understood the program I went back to my old way of eating including adding sugars back in November.

Then in February of 2005, I found a note in the book about the web site. I was not very comfortable with computers and had never used the internet before, but I learned fast. The online community made all the difference for me. I needed that daily support and I needed to hear from people who had been following this plan for months and years. I started over on the steps and moved steadily forward until I detoxed in October of 2005.

I am filled with gratitude. Not only did my physical health improve, but I could have never imagined my emotional health to be what it is today. I had been plagued with depression and low self esteem for years. I have been on depression meds for over 10 years without much success. No matter what I tried, I just couldn't quite have a happy fulfilled life. I came to Radiant Recovery with over 20 years in AA but somehow a happy life still eluded me. When I came to Radiant Recovery, I just did what I was told to the best of my ability. Imagine my surprise when as my chemistry became balanced, so many of the things I struggled with just silently went away.

In the fall of 2003 a few months before I found Radiant Recovery, I was 51 years old and was taking about 12 prescription medications. I am happy to say I am now down to three and two of those have greatly reduced dosages. My energy has increased, I like myself, I am not a depressed person, my cholesterol has dropped dramatically and I live my life with strength and grace I could never have believed possible.

Colette
Louisville, CO






Leadership Training

Hi, my name is Colette, and I live in Louisville, Colorado. I have been married since 1984 to a wonderful, supportive husband, and we have 2 lovely daughters.

How did I first find out about the radiant program? When my family goes to the health food store with me, they like to look around and find all the "weird" things in the store. On one of our adventures, my husband found a book with a funny title and wanted to share it with me. Well, it happened to be 'Potatoes not Prozac', and that is how my journey began.

I started the program in October of 2001, and have enjoyed freedom from awful sugar cravings that had at one time been a daily battle for me! But that's not all....I no longer have "dark," depressed days, I feel emotionally and physically available for my family and friends, and I am better able to cope with daily life. Getting steady on the program is helping me to deal with other health issues in my life. I continue to learn new things by being in this community, and I am incredibly thankful for this program!

Connie
Beaverton, OR






Joy in Motion

I came to the PnP/YLD programs after searching for a self-care solution for depression for my boyfriend. I found "Potatoes not Prozac" on Amazon, ordered it right away. When I read it I was amazed that it was even more for me! I never thought of myself as "depressed" but there I was, described in the symptoms. Plus living on sugars & whites, the high feelings, the despair and self-loathing, the years and years of yo-yo dieting, the feeling that whites were like a drug - but how could that be? Clutter! Finances! And that office supply thing! That's me! So then I checked out the radiantrecovery web site and found out there was the YLD program for losing weight, too. I took a deep breath and did what I resolved never to do again - invest in a weight loss program. At that point I had tried everything for 30 years - Stillman, Weight Watchers, low-fat high-carb, low-carb (CAD), exercise (boy what a short trial that was, heh) and was in the middle of half-heartedly failing yet again on Protein Power. I couldn't seem to get the energy balance right. Either too hungry and I bonked and binged, or too full. 100 pounds overweight, finally. I love this program and it's truly my last. The sad moods and mood swings are gone. I am binge-free now - but overeating seems to be my fall-down behavior of choice - but I now see each one as a learning experience. I also love "steady" food. It's like the best blankie ever, and no downside. Welcome to our community and I hope you join us in this amazing living experiment in managing sugar sensitivity.

I'm Diane; I live on the coast of Maine and am a Type II Diabetic. I had always been especially drawn to sweets as long as I can remember, stealing candy from an early age as well as plotting and planning my next fix and hiding wrappers my entire life. I had always felt out of control. As a teen, I started drinking and taking drugs, and was always in some kind of trouble. At 15, I was put on medication for mood disorders and then in my early 20's was diagnosed with Diabetes. No matter how hard I tried, I could never seem to do the right thing, stay on a diet or away from sugar. I felt helpless, hopeless and ashamed, hiding any way I could. Sometimes I would cry to myself that "I know I'm a good person inside- why can't I stop doing bad things?" though most of the time I considered myself a lost cause and it seemed that others did too. I had tried every treatment, medication and diet prescribed to me but nothing ever worked out. I continued to spiral downward and would go through long periods of deep isolation before I could get myself to ask for help again. The only thing that ever seemed to help me feel better was sugar and it had gotten to the point where sweets were pretty much all I ate. I started keeping a sugar bowl and a spoon on my nightstand to comfort myself when I awoke from chronic nightmares. Eventually I became so physically ill as a result of long term uncontrolled blood sugar and complications of my Diabetes that my Dr. said he didn't think I would survive another year and we should start looking at dialysis to buy me some time.

A new friend had been talking with me some about her Sugar Sensitivity, and had been hanging around the edges of the information she shared for quite some time. Feeling desperate, I said I was ready to give her program a try. I borrowed her books and read Potatoes Not Prozac and The Sugar Addicts Total Recovery program. I couldn't put them down. I read Kathleen talking about sugar addiction and HEALING and those words really grabbed me. My friend gave me a container of George's Shake and I started the program right away. I quit sugar cold turkey, did all the steps at once and started feeling better pretty quickly. My blood test results were improving, my organs wanted to work, and my mental health was improving. My Fibromyalgia was nearly gone. It was a miracle! Still, it was hard not to have sugar and I constantly white knuckled through cravings. Eventually I gave in to them, my sugar intake quickly escalated again and I got even sicker than I had been before. Terrified that I was going to die, I started the program again. I still did it my way, went cold turkey and added in the steps really fast. Once again I slipped and wobbled on my steps, with a constant fear that I would "fall off the wagon". My health was improving again, but my fear of sugar was growing and the added anxiety that came with it was awful. I still didn't understand that doing each step slowly and fully before moving on to the next was what I needed to do to heal my addiction. My friend reminded me that there was a Radiant Recovery website and a whole community where I could seek extra support and suggested that I go take a look around. I was pleased to find the Northeast list and a Diabetes list too and joined them both in 2004. I was scared to post but finally wrote a desperate plead for help, held my breath and clicked send. I was replied to almost immediately and welcomed by such kind hearted and supportive people that seemed to know just how I felt. They assured me that I was in the right place and wow- they were right! Since that first post, I've learned the value of listening, asking for guidance and taking the advice of those that have traveled before me, committing to my program, doing the food and trusting the process. My blood sugar levels have come down and stabilized, my health continues to improve and I feel great. Prior diagnoses of mood disorders have been rescinded and I no longer take medications or Insulin. My addiction to sugar nearly claimed my life, but Radiant Recovery and doing the food has given me the opportunity to adventure into a whole new one. I am thriving and truly enjoying living which is something I had never known before. Increasingly more social, confident, capable and independent, I am currently exploring career interests and furthering my education. I am excited to see where my journey will take me as I continue to heal and grow.

Elaine
Fremont, CA






Breakfast

Hi! I'm Elaine. I was born and raised in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio. I married my high school sweetheart in 1975 right after graduating from college as an elementary school teacher. I taught Kindergarten through 4th grade in Cleveland until we moved to Fremont, California in 1993. I am currently teaching kindergarten in San Jose. While living in Cleveland, we had two boys, one of whom died in 1996. My youngest son is now in his 20s which is totally amazing. How on earth can I have a child who is so old.and so tall!! LOL He is 6'3" and I'm barely 5'.

Through the years, I dieted all the time. I bought books and magazines practically every week for "the one" that would work once and for all. I even dieted when I weighed very little. Talk about distorted image, YIKES! I tried Optifast before Oprah. I did Weight Watchers several times. I went to dieticians and just about every other thing that ever came out. The one thing that never occurred to me in all of those years was that sugar was the issue. I wouldn't give it to my children for their first several years, but never thought that it was MY problem. Many people on the lists say they knew, not me…I was oblivious. I ate ice cream and chocolate my whole life…instead of meals, with meals, etc. I was an equal opportunity eater, though. I loved everything. I love meat, veggies, and carbs, although bread was never my thing. But with all of that, my biggest downfall was chocolate. I used to say if it wasn't chocolate, it wasn't worth eating. I binged often. A great deal of my life was about food. Reading about it, making it, buying it, buying cookbooks and of course, eating it.

My health was bad. I had asthma, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and of course too much weight. This was really scary as my mother died at a very early age. I knew I needed something that would really work for me.

In February of 2000, I clicked on an ad on another website that took me to the Radiant Recovery site, which was a much smaller community then. I found out about PnP, bought it, and knew that this was about me, and also my son. It was our story and I could do this for myself even though it was too late for him. This was truly going to be my last diet and it has been, all this time. I can't imagine ever eating a different way or not being in contact with those who I have met here and those I am yet to meet.

I went through the steps and found all the things Kathleen promised and more. I am still and will always be a work in progress, but with this program, the possibilities are endless.

I have always loved music. The lyrics speak to me very deeply. Several years ago, I found a song that really talks about how I feel about doing this program and being here as a volunteer to help others as they go through the steps. It is by Red Grammer and is on his Soul Man in a Techno World CD.

You think I'm crazy, well maybe I am
I don't expect you to understand
Out on a limb's not something I planned
How to explain it's just who I am

I never could've dreamed life would be so
Never could've dreamed... so rich in so many ways
Never could've imagined that I would be on this road
I'm traveling
I'm just so grateful to be here today

You think I'm foolish to follow my heart
Most people tell me it's not very smart
Still I follow my feelings and reach for the stars
Who would've known it would get me this far

I never could've dreamed life would be so
Never could've dreamed... so rich in so many ways
Never could've imagined that I would be on this road
I'm traveling
I'm just so grateful to be here today

I live in the Denver area with my two cats Nicky & Sophie and a lot of houseplants. (smile) I also love to ride my motorcycle and to travel throughout the American West. I found Radiant Recovery in the summer of 2004. While I had other addiction problems in my life, the biggest one was that I was a practicing late-stage alcoholic. I had begun reading Potatoes not Prozac because I hoped to deal with my chronic depression, but when I read that the program had its beginnings in healing alcoholics, I broke down crying. I had been drinking daily for decades, and had known that I was an alcoholic since my mid-twenties. But in reading about the original program’s 92% success rate, I was filled with hope that I could finally quit drinking, and I began the next day by eating breakfast. It took me five months to finally stop drinking for good, and then it was another year before I achieved a stable detox from sugar, but all along the way I was learning, practicing my skills, habituating my new way of eating. The payoff has been dramatic, miraculous even!

After putting down the bottle I have confronted a host of other symptoms, mostly caused by sugar sensitivity: extreme anger, depression, fibromyalgia, binge eating, exercise addiction, codependency, shopping, money, the list seems endless sometimes (smile). By having an open heart and listening and speaking in this community I have healed each one in turn. I find that helping others is a critical piece of my recovery. It’s like I am one of a series of pools of water in a stream. The pools of water upstream from me feed into me and fill me up, and when I am filled to the brim, I feed the pools of water that are downstream from me. It’s important that I keep the wisdom, strength, and hope flowing throughout the stream. And I love sharing my journey. I know that when I am constantly learning and sharing, I am constantly growing and living into my birthright. Life truly just keeps getting better and better!

I'm Emily and I live in the Seattle area of Washington State with my husband and 2 daughters. I read Little Sugar Addicts in my search for something to help my oldest daughter's rages and mood swings and found a solution not only for her, but for me! I'd always known I had a problem with sugar and that I was moody, but I didn't think there was anything that would help. I'd successfully given up sugar before, but I resented it and eventually it crept back in. Now there's no resentment, only joy creeping into all parts of my life.

We all began eating a program breakfast in May of 2005 and life began to transform in our house. Mornings were calmer, the girls didn't bicker, we got to school on time, and everyone felt better. Each step has brought me something new and I'm so enjoying the journey. Not only does sugar no longer dominate my life and thoughts (I really never believed that was possible), I have more energy, I'm more patient, I have more fun, and I have dreams again.

I love this community and I'm honored to be able to give back.

Gail
Reisterstown, MD

My story starts in the general way that most of ours do!!! I had tried every diet in existence and was fatter than I'd ever been. Oh, I could lose weight but it would always find me again!!!

A dear friend told me about Potatoes Not Prozac. At first I bought it and it sat on my night table for at least a month. Whew!!! When I read it, I couldn't believe that this author could know *my* story. I was feeling hopeful for the first time in many, many years.

Gretel
Chatham, NJ





Dog, Elders, Logistics

Hi, I'm Gretel. I'm married with three young adult children, one son and twin daughters all of whom I am very proud. I began recovery from alcoholism 18 years ago when a doctor told me I'd never see them graduate from high school, that I had the body of a 70 year old woman (I was 50 at the time) and 70 year old women die. Today I am near 70 and feel more like 50, LOL.

Then 9 years ago my sugar consumption was so high I began having hangovers that rivaled any I'd ever had from alcohol and was suffering mild depression. A friend suggested I read Kathleen's book, Potatoes Not Prozac. I immediately identified with being sugar sensitive and began following her program in 2000 at age 60.

To say my life has been totally transformed feels like an understatement. I now have a body that accurately reflects my age, I even look younger than my actual 68 years so I'm told, LOL. And I'm still very much alive!

I got involved in the Radiant Recovery community right away, posting on the forum when there was only a forum, then helping with the email lists as they began to develop. For many years I liaised the recovery list for those who want to give up alcohol/drugs in connection with this program. I feel addressing the underlying sugar sensitivity is a big first step in helping to balance a whacked out biochemistry, thereby reducing cravings and promoting relapse prevention.

I went back to school to learn web design and have used that skill to help maintain the Radiant Recovery website and work with Kathleen to publish the weekly newsletter. All this serves me well in my retirement, keeping me excited about being part of a community that is vibrantly focused on healing and growth. I take all the classes that Kathleen offers because I love that she cares enough to continually research and present to us information that will contribute to our recovery.

I attend the weekly YLD chats, not only because I'm interested in weight loss and think the YLD program is the 'best' for that, but also because I love the connection each week with Kathleen directly where she presents cutting edge information and with others who are committed to strengthening their program.

Finally, my 2 golden retrievers are the love of my life, so currently I am delighted to liaise the radiantdog list where we can talk about how our dogs contribute to our well being and love of life.

Heather
Arlington, VA





ED

Hi, I'm Heather B and I live in the metro DC area. I work in Human Resources in the training industry for a non-profit association. I guess you could say I'm attracted to positions of service :-).

I started Dr. DesMaisons' program back in 2001. I was deep in eating disorders and searching for another diet book that I did not need. I had been reading more and more things about carbs and sugar, and I knew I had a problem with white foods; once I started, there was no stopping me. When I saw the Sugar Addicts Total Recovery Program I knew this was something different. Here was a book addressing addiction to sugars in a healing, gentle, approach! I'll be honest, I did buy SARP and Potatoes not Prozac, because I was hoping to lose weight, but it turns out I gained a whole lot in my quality of life instead.

Since starting the program I kicked my eating disorders. No more starving only to break down and eat cartons of ice-cream, followed by purging. No more fantasizing about food all day and obsessing over how much I could eat and not gain weight. I feel like I gained control of my life.

I am also pleased to say that on the program I have been able to train for two marathons, and am working on a third. Never before would I have been able to take on such a challenging task with focus and with the ability to listen to my body and stop before injury. Not only that, but I also got married and had a blissful, stress-free wedding. I credit the program for giving me the radiance that carried me over the worries to just enjoy the celebration. Lastly, I also got a brand new job within my company in the training industry. I have a background in education and this feels like the most amazing fit. It was scary jump to make, but because I have radiance and the kind of self awareness only it can bring, I just knew this was the place I was supposed to be. Thank you Kathleen for making this possible!

Jeannie
Sandy, UT
Orcas Island, WA




Step 6

All my life, I battled a little weight problem and a big compulsion to eat sweets and whites. After I turned 40, I plunged headfirst into junk food, and my mood took a dive as well. The worse I felt, the worse I ate. The worse I ate, the deeper I fell into depression and anxiety.

I came to Radiant Recovery in 2002 and did the program my way--fast and in diet head. After about 3 months, I detoxed from sugar. I remember how weird it felt to write *steady* and *calm* in my journal, day after day. I also remember wondering where my radiance was.

I hung on for 6 months so I could join the YLD active weightloss group. Immediately my diet head, which had never gone away, took over. Ironically, I had lost almost all the weight I needed to, and pretty fast, but I began to feel horribly inadequate about losing those last few pounds. I never posted my concerns--I didn’t post much, and when I did and got feedback, I didn’t listen very well. Instead, I slipped away from the community and started yet another diet.

Not surprisingly, after the dust cleared from that diet, I was fatter than I’d ever been and desperately depressed and anxious as well. My life had shrunken down to a tiny remnant of the rich, full life I once had. I came back to Radiant Recovery on January 1, 2005, finally willing to do the program as written.

I decided to focus on one step at a time, clearing my mind of everything I thought I knew about the program. I felt very uncomfortable posting, but I made a commitment to do it anyway every single day. Some days it took all I had just to push that submit button. I started to connect and listen and work the program. One by one, the steps blossomed inside me. I detoxed from sugar in June of 2005, very grateful to get back to that steady place.

The program has brought me everything I wanted from it and more. The end of my bingeing on step 3 brought relief to my soul and a stable weight to my body for the first time in 10 years. Next, with the potato in place, my depression lifted almost overnight, though I was still miserably anxious. Months later, with a solid step 7, my anxiety faded, and I was ready to embrace life again. And as my life got bigger, my body started to release weight, slowly and steadily, without deprivation, obsession, or extremes.

Most of all, this program has given me the opportunity to participate in a vibrant, healthy community based on respect and love. It is an honor to be here.

Hi everyone, I'm Jim, and I live in Bloomington, Indiana with my wife, two sons, and dog. I'm a sugar addict from a family of sugar addicts. I started dieting when I was in middle school, and as is true of so many other people, for years my self-esteem was tied to my weight.

In 2001, my first son was born. I got really depressed. I was scared and tired. I also was desperate to lose weight and was considering bariatric surgery. My doctor put me on Meridia, and it helped for a while. I did Weight Watchers and lost 100 pounds. Then, I'm sure you can guess what happened. I went off the med (because it's very dangerous), crashed, and gained it all back. My second son was born in 2004. Again, I became depressed. I started to have anger problems and lost my motivation to do much of anything, including nurturing my relationship with my wife. My doctor put me on Wellbutrin. It helped, but it wasn't the answer.

I found Radiant Recovery in early 2005. I did the typical all-at-once program and crashed. Then, in the fall of 2005, I came back, connected with the community, and listened. It has made such a huge difference. I'm now a good dad, a good husband, and a good friend. I'm off medication. I don't binge eat. I don't yell at my kids. I respond to my wife's need for connection. Life is good!

Hi, my name is Jo, and I live in central Illinois. I have a wonderful partner, a very chatty cat (Molly, who you may meet on the Pets list), and an ever-growing collection of Macintosh computers and other techie toys.

When I first read SARP, it was though I was reading my own story. Everything I had tried to "fix" in my life -- giving up alcohol, losing weight (and gaining it, and losing it, and gaining it), trying multiple self-help programs -- only seemed to offer temporary relief. I was still "broken," but I refused to admit why. I could exercise supreme willpower over my eating, my emotions, and my habits. That would work for a while, but never for the long term. I was still miserable, angry, and crazy inside, even when I looked like I had it all together on the outside. No matter what, I was still a pushover for a plate of chocolate-chip cookies (and a gallon of ice cream, and a bowl of white pasta with butter and salt), washed down with a liter or two of Diet Coke.

It all came back to sugar. I knew I was replacing all my other addictions with sugar, and until I dealt with sugar and other refined carbohydrates, I could never begin to heal the biochemistry that was making me feel so bad. Even when I came to that conclusion, I was terrified to try Kathleen's program. The thought of giving up sugar was too overwhelming. I couldn't bring myself to trust that it worked as it was written. So, in a typical sugar-sensitive, backward way, I thought that the only way I could ever do the program was to give up sugar *first*.

I did a total, white-knuckle, cold-turkey detox on New Year's Eve, 2005. All the junk went into garbage bags that night. I remember waving goodbye as the truck picked up the bags from the curb. I was miserable, but I was determined to start Kathleen's program and scared to death to do it while I was still using sugar. A month later, in February 2006, I joined the Breakfast list.

I worked through the steps, slowly, and in a year, I finally got to Step 6. I found that there was a great deal for me to accomplish on Step 6, even though I had stopped eating sugar much earlier. Step 6 was where the drama finally went away, where the mood swings calmed down, and when I finally began to see serenity, healing, and the beginning of radiance in my life. I started to discover some of the deeper facets of the program and to really connect with the community. My body and my spirit were alive and becoming well.

It's an ongoing process, but I'm enjoying the journey and pleased to be able to serve the program that has come to mean so much to me.

I am a musician, an athlete and a fundraiser for a nonprofit organization. I live in Massachusetts with my wife, our two kitties and an occasional bear who gets into my kitchen and steals my snacks.

In my late 20’s I vowed never to diet again and reveled in the freedom. But I could never make the sugar piece comfortable. I would eat way too much or white knuckle not eating it. But I didn’t want to take it out completely because in my head that was “dieting.”

When I started running a few years ago, I knew it was time to clean up my eating. I tried the steps again (like many, I’d done them previously all at once and then given up). Slowly, I got to step 5 and then came online to this wonderful community. I finally understood that rather than a troublesome food to be integrated into my non-dieting, sugar was a drug I was addicted to and making deals with. At that point I was ready to let it go for good.

I am still amazed every day that there are no more black holes, temper tantrums and feelings of abandonment. The steps have helped me become more emotionally mature and opened my heart. I am grateful to be part of this community of healing.

Julia
England





Step 5

I discovered Potatoes not Prozac in my local library in 2002 at a time when I was feeling at my fattest, lowest and most in despair. I had hit a point where the hamster wheel I was on had stopped turning and I had finally had to acknowledge that the inside and outside me were coming to a full on crash. I was well aware of my sugar 'addiction'; it was something I had desperately tried to keep hidden from everyone around me since I had been a child. I felt like I had failed miserably in having no willpower and no self control.

Reading Kathleen's words was like a breath of fresh air that blew in to the fog of misery I was sunk in. As soon as I finished the book I logged on to the website and found the community forum. I read and read and eventually plucked up the courage to post a message. I was overwhelmed by the response, the kindness and the understanding. And by the stories of healing and recovery. Of course I retained my cynicism (I am a brit after all :) and thought it might work for everyone else, but they didn't know how hopeless I was yet! But I decided I would just take it on trust, give it a go and see what happened.

I had already worked out that this way of eating made sense. It wasn't scary diet stuff and what did I have to lose? After a bit of a false start by giving up everything at once and crashing horribly I found the wonderful radiantbrits group and was coached and supported and laughed with along the way to recovery. My life has changed in a million ways since then. I am steadier, no longer binge and starve myself, have given up guilt and shame for the joy of being connected, in touch with who I am and how I want to live my life. I wouldn't change this experience and journey for anything in the world. Being sugar sensitive and finding this community has given me this gift of appreciating every minute of my life now.

I share my life with a wonderful partner and have 4 sons who bring me joy and all the complexities of parenting. They all support me and follow the programme , or not, in their own ways. But they have long stopped buying me chocolates or wine for birthdays! And they know a bunch of flowers, a hug or even a text mean a lot more.

I am thrilled to be asked to help in leadership and to share my story with others. I love hearing how people change as they discover the miracle of breakfast and the power of connecting with others who know what it is like to be sugar sensitive.

Karen
Kent, England




Step 3, Euro

I first read PNP shortly after it was published but didn't finish it. I thought the whole science bit was fascinating but did it apply to me? No way! I carried on being depressed, eating sugar, drinking wine and feeling life was awful and thought no more of the book.

A few years later, browsing through magazine a book with a bright pink cover caught my eye. It was a review of the UK edition of SARP. I'd just eaten a family sized tub of ice-cream for lunch and was wondering what to do until it was time to begin the evening bottle of wine. The write up referred to those who were eating sugar and depressed - well that was me! I bought the book and didn't even make the connection with the book I dismissed all those years earlier. I was hooked - not only did the book describe my many symptoms and me but offered a simple solution to the problem. I began with breakfast, which wasn't quite as easy I thought it would be so I joined the online groups.

I shared my difficulties and confidently predicted I'd be sugar free within a few weeks. It didn’t turn out quite like that. Step 3 turned out to be quite a challenge. I had to rearrange my life just to get 3 meals in, had to learn to shop, to cook, to plan ahead. And, biggest of all, I gave up drinking the wine every evening. I couldn't have done this without the support of the online groups. Eventually I progressed to be ready to detox - life was better than I thought it could be. For years I had struggled with depression and anxiety and things had improved. I began to be happy.

And then I had a bad accident and after a short spell in hospital I was home recovering and found myself back at the beginning. For me those were very dark days indeed. I was barely able to work or even move and had little joy in my life. I had begun to drink again. Even doing breakfast was a struggle. I was on the verge of giving up the programme completely when hope arrived by email. The Radiant Recovery Community came to my rescue - literally. A plan was set out and all I had to do was follow it. I gave up the wine, settled down to breakfast and hope returned. Hope that my life could be rebuilt. Second time around was quicker because the foundation was still there. I eventually detoxed from sugar completely.

Today my life is better than anything I imagined it could be, and every day I feel gratitude for the community that rescued me during some of my darkest moments. I am delighted to be able to serve here to share experiences and offer hope.

Kath
Perth, Australia




Food and Cooking

Kitty
Colorado Springs, CO






Yelp, Logistics, Garden

I've done a lot of programs and read a lot of books over the years. Some of them worked for a while. But most of the time I was struggling and had these big energy slumps in the afternoon. Finally I let up, and gained back the weight I lost, and let my exercise program (which I loved) lapse. I wasn't sure what was wrong.

But when I read a review of Potatoes Not Prozac and read the words "sugar sensitivity", I had a very strong feeling this was about me. When I read the book, the pieces fell into place and it just blew me away. Though I haven't had problems with depression for about 15 years, I recognized many of the other symptoms of sugar sensitivity in myself.

I read the book and found the web site in December, 1998, and became actively involved in the community when I joined YLD in August of 1999. I am one of the people who answers technical questions (e.g. about the email groups or the web site).

Hi, I'm Linda. When asked, "How has Potatoes Not Prozac changed my life," my response is, "I actually have a life instead of an existence."

I came to the program ten years ago depressed, socially phobic and out of control.

Today I am an introvert who is willing to try new things and am willing to make spontaneous choices even when it means stepping into the unknown.

I'm flexible and more able to recognize when I am getting off track and can make adjustments as needed instead of being blinded by a problem for weeks or months at a time.

I live in hope instead of fear.

It's great to be a calming influence in my workplace rather than invisible or wallpaper.

I have done the food for many years. Last fall, a diagnosis of diabetes catapulted me into really doing the program with fierce vigor. My blood sugars are normal and I have lost 60 pounds. I love doing the food and am happy to help in whatever way I can.

Hi, I'm Lisa and I live just outside Gothenburg in the southwest of Sweden. I found Radiant Recovery the first time shortly after I finished high school. I had known for some time that something was wrong with my blood sugar, and worried that maybe I had diabetes. An article about sugar in a magazine recommended "Potatoes not Prozac", and I read it and understood I was addicted to sugar. I decided to quit sugar right away without doing any of those difficult steps first. I went through a terrible detox and then felt great, until I relapsed. This happened again and again over the years that followed.

Then finally, about 5 years after that first detox I decided I had to do something. I was 25, but seemed to have a much harder time than other people in finding my adult identity and confidence. I was incredibly insecure and anxious, had panic attacks and was scared of almost everything and everyone. I read lots of books about psychology and self help but nothing worked very well. I worried that maybe I had a mental illness but could never work up the nerve to call a psychologist. I remembered Kathleen and PnP, so I bought SARP and was blown away! What really drew me in was how the book talked so much about the emotional and psychological effects of sugar. My goal had always been to get off sugar because it helped my blood sugar and gave me more energy. Now here was this book saying that my low self esteem and panic attacks could be caused by sugar as well!

Full of enthusiasm I did the whole program in about a month and thought I was doing great. Then I crashed, had a huge panic attack and realized I wasn't doing it right. So I went back, did the program nice and slow, joined step lists and took classes, and the reward was amazing. One by one problems that I had always thought were the result of childhood abuse, mental illness or character flaws melted away. Shyness, self contempt, low self esteem, anxiety and panic, obsessive thinking, tearfulness, feeling overwhelmed and oversensitive… it all peeled away and revealed a confident, strong and happy woman I had no idea I could be, and who I could actually like. It was a real breakthrough around step 3 when I could look at myself in the mirror and for the first time feel affection and sympathy rather than hate or shame. This program has given me a better life than I could have dreamed of, and I am here trying to give back some of what I've been given.

Stacey






IBD

When I think back to my childhood it was filled with sugary desserts and my mother's side is known for being very good dessert bakers, the really sweet yummy kind. I had been on and off diets since the age of 13, yo-yoing up and down with my weight and being pretty obsessed with my weight and what I ate. I also felt foggy headed much of the time and I liked to isolate. I have also always had some mild anxiety and fatigue.

From the time I was 15 my 2 interests were nutrition and baking sugary desserts. I went to a nutritionist when I was 15 who taught me how bad refined foods (specifically sugar and whites) are for me. I knew she was right, I just couldn't stick to this forever. I would go back and forth with the 2 ways of eating and I never understood why I was so obsessed either one way or the other at all times.

In 1998 I was standing in a bookstore and browsing. In front of me Potatoes not Prozac popped out and something in me just had to look at it. I read the first page and thought "How does this woman know me so well?" I brought it home and showed DH who agreed, with a big smile, that this was me and that I should start reading.

Of course I thought I was special and that all that I had to do was stop eating sugar. So for a few months I didn't really eat much sugar (so I thought - there were probably some coverts), except for special occasions and holidays. Then some friends opened up a cafe and asked if I would provide the desserts. I had always wanted to have my own baking company so I said Yes! At the same time I was asked to help out with the accounting for a family-owned soft pretzel company - the all white kind. I said yes to this too. And I had been addicted to exercise at the same time. It was a great way to cut a deal to eat the sweets and whites. For the next 5 months I worked really really hard at both jobs, still overexercised and ate all of the sugars and whites surrounding me. I wasn't a good baker if I didn't taste. Right?!

This brings me to January 1999. I started to crash physically and I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia and later IBD. My doctor tried to put me on Zoloft and all that did was help a little of my afternoon brain fog. I stopped taking it. He then told me to see another doctor who told me I was low in potassium and to drink Gatorade. I did this for a few days and realized Yuck! I knew in my heart that the answer for me was in nutrition. Luckily I had a cousin who was a nutritionist and specialized in diseases and issues like mine rather than just weight. With her I cut out sugar, wheat and dairy and had protein with every meal. I cut this out rather quickly. She even had me eat a protein vitamin shake for breakfast. I remember showing her PnP and I bought her a copy. She was very impressed with it, but we didn't follow all of the steps. What I was doing helped, but not nearly enough. So for the next few years I saw two different integrative medical doctors who had me take many supplements and nutritional IVs. They also had me on a hypoglycemic diet with very few carbs and no sugars. I was also pregnant twice during these years and ate sugar while preganant and some while nursing. Now I think I know why my babies screamed so much for the first year.

After DD #2 was 6 months old I found that I was only eating sugar once in a while for special occasions. I noticed that I snapped at DDs and DH the day after eating sugar and I felt awful for 4 days. So one day I decided this is not for me and I stopped all sugar for good. It was a very easy detox because I had already weaned so much. But I still wasn't healed from the CFS/FM and my doctor had me on different allergy/elimination diets. Then I tried the Fat Flush Plan and felt a bit better for about 2 months. Then one more elimination diet and I was barely eating anything except fish and wild rice. And the CFS/FM , IBD and allergies were still really bad.

So in March 2005 I took out all of Kathleen's books for the 10th time (I glanced at them repeatedly over the years, but mentally was not ready). I was already having three meals a day with no sugars or whites so I thought I have to try this for real! I started connecting online and by July I was on step 7. I am now 1 year on step 7 and I feel better than I ever have mentally. And physically I am so much better too. I rarely see my doctor and when I do he has said "Wow, whatever you are doing is really great" and he proceeded to describe Radiance! He even requested that I find all of Kathleen's books for him. He now has his own set in his office. I am off my thyroid meds and allergy shots too.

My CFS/FM and IBD are so much under control and really are only surfacing with stress and lack of sleep. This program is truly amazing and completely changes life for the better!

Thank you Kathleen!

Terri Louise
Boulder, CO





Geos

Hi, I'm Terri Louise. My story starts with me growing up a rather sensitive and moody person. I'd always eaten a lot of sugar. After a particularly bad time of being depressed (which I was treated for successfully), I was always on the lookout for lifestyle adjustments I could employ to keep that from ever happening again. I found Potatoes Not Prozac at the library soon after it was published. I identified completely that first read through. I went through the Steps quickly and with a lot of intention. However, I wasn't fully detoxed until I stopped drinking 5 years ago.

I am so thankful to say my life has changed dramatically for the better in that time. My moods are even. I'm more physically active than before. I'm funnier and more playful. My DP and I travel extensively so I have done this program 'on the road' in many parts of the world. I am sure I am able to fully enjoy my curiosity about the world because of changing what and when I eat.

I am always so pleased when people come here and want the same for themselves. Getting steady is what unlocks us to finally be able to develop our strengths. I'm so glad you are here and I hope you will join us on the road to recovery.

Terri
Barstow, CA






Recipes, Pacific

When Amazon.com kept trying to get me to buy Potatoes Not Prozac, I really wasn't interested because I knew I wasn't depressed. I had dealt with depression many times throughout my life and I was fat, not depressed, at that time. I was on a quest to find the plan that would solve my weight problem.

When SARP was released in December 2000, I was ready for the message. I started reading SARP and I couldn't put it down. I knew I had found the missing piece. I read it in 2 days (while polishing off my chocolate stash). I had myself convinced that I was ready to do all 6 steps on January 1. My detox was awful!!! I had to take time off work, I was so sick. Luckily, the people on the forum were there to tell me to slow down and to provide the support I needed as my body healed.

Continuing my quest, I joined YLD and after I got steady doing the food, I realized I had been the victim of my biochemistry. I wasn't fat, I was depressed! Now I love my body. I love the radiance that comes from something so simple as eating right for my body. And even though I stopped worrying about losing weight, my body has responded and I have continued to lose weight at her pace.

I love being able to serve in the Radiant Recovery community. I'm thankful for this program and the profound impact it has in helping me lead a radiant life and invite anyone who wants the same to connect with us in the online community.

Hi! I’m Tina, from Baltimore, Maryland. I am the the geo host for the MidAtlantic region. I’m very excited to be serving this community.

When I was about twelve years old, I suddenly grew to be almost six feet tall. I felt huge and masculine. This was the root of my body image issues. I felt very insecure and different from everyone else. When I was in high school I started to drink heavily and became addicted to marijuana. Drugs completely controlled my life. My parents sent me to rehab and I was lucky enough to 'get it,' and I have been clean since I was 17. A few years into my drug recovery, however, my body image issues reared their head and I took off into sugar addiction. It was so uncomfortable to be in my own skin. I tried to control my body by eating as little as possible and exercising compulsively. Eventually, I ended up bingeing uncontrollably. I was desperate to heal my addiction but couldn’t figure out how. I tried so many programs and diets and nothing ever stuck.

One day a dear friend gave me the web address for Radiant Recovery on a post-it note. She said, 'If it fits, keep it, if not, throw it away!' I went to the website as soon as I got home, and oh yes, it fit! I made my home in the community on the Eating Disorders list and immediately felt a strong sense of connection and support. My time doing this program has been nothing short of miraculous. I am so grateful to the people who have showed me how to live a radiant life, and now it is such a pleasure to have the opportunity to give back.

Val
Seattle, Wa






Money, Northwest

In the late summer and fall of 2001, after my father's unexpected and very scary heart bypass surgery and the events of 9/11, I was in the deepest depression I had ever experienced. My entire world was very, very dark, my limbs were heavy, and I felt like I could barely move. I was spending my evenings curled up in a ball on my sofa, and during the day at work, all I could do was stare hopelessly at my computer. Then, that December, I got pneumonia (twice!) and was sicker than I can recall ever having been. Although I didn't have a plan to end my life, by that point I really didn't care whether or not I got well. Finally I vowed that if I got better (and that was a big IF!) I would do whatever it took to heal my body, mind, and spirit. Shortly after I returned to work in January of 2002, I was guided to the Radiant Recovery program by my manager at work. I started it right away, only doing one or two of the steps at a time instead of all of them at once ;-) and by October of 2002, I had detoxed. The difference was literally night and day. My moods improved almost right away, and I began to feel a lightness I hadn't felt in years (hey, I think they call that radiance!)

I love being in this community and I love helping people see the possibilities for their own lives in recovery. I'm humbled by the generosity and wisdom here and I look forward to being in service for a long time.

When I discovered Radiant Recovery in 2001, I was searching the internet for more information about depression. As a therapist, I knew all of the traditional ways to treat depression and had been through them all, never finding the key for my own depression. At radiantrecovery.com I read everything Kathleen had written, then bought the books, and jumped into the program by posting on the forum. I never looked back and by the end of the first week I felt so much better I knew I was on the right track.

I discovered a new facet to addiction, sugar addiction. It finally dawned on me how I could have been born into the midst of a family of alcoholics and not be one myself. I was, instead, a sugar addict, and just as seriously affected by it as any other drug addict by their drug. I learned that as a sugar addict not only did I compulsively eat sugar, but that I could not follow directions, respect authority, think clearly, share honestly, or trust others.

After six months, I wouldn't have traded this program for all the gold in Fort Knox, because I had gained so much happiness and felt totally depression free. Although I still had much healing to do, I knew I had found a program that really worked for me. No more empty promises and shattered dreams of enjoying life. This program gave me everything I was searching for and so much more. In my continuing years on this program I believe that I grow more deeply to be the me I was created to be. I feel alive, connected, focused and serene. Physically, all of my aches and pains went away and I feel as healthy now as years ago in my forties. Life is good!

Vicki
Hamden, CT






YLD

Hi! I'm Vicki G. My DP and I have been married more than 40 years, have 2 wonderful grown daughters and 2 grandsons and 1 granddaughter, who are the light of my life.

My mom tells everyone that she put me on a diet when I was 5, so I grew up "knowing" that I was "fat" and needed to be on a diet most of the time. Looking back at photos, I know now that I was a normal weight as a child. However, years and years of yo-yo dieting added up to my being about 80 pounds overweight by the time I heard about The Sugar Addict's Total Recovery Program. I had given up on diets by then and had just decided that I would be a fat grandma for the rest of my life. I was 55 at the time.

I started step 1 in February 2001. Everything I read in SARP resonated with me and I loved that it focused on healing the reason for my inability to control my eating. But, being a typical sugar sensitive person, I just knew that with all my experience with all those previous diets, I could do the 7 steps slowly in about 2 weeks. (grin) Was I ever surprised when it took me at least 6 weeks to learn to eat breakfast within an hour of waking!

So, I decided to focus on healing. After all, I knew I could lose weight on a diet, but then I couldn't maintain the loss and always ended up heavier than when I started. With lots of help and encouragement from this wonderful community, I was able to work my way through the steps. Step 3 was particularly hard for me, as I had never eaten meals at regular times.

Over the past years I have learned so much about my body and myself just by changing what and when I eat. My body now trusts me to feed her on a regular schedule and not starve her, so she is willing to let go of the extra weight. I have lost weight very slowly, and as long as I pay attention to my program - eat on time, eat appropriate portions, get enough sleep, take care of my BE's - I can continue to lose or maintain a healthy weight. No stress about it. Just one good choice at a time, and I am a happy, peaceful serene woman who can juggle family and work gracefully. By making my recovery a priority, I am more available to others.

I love working with this community and serving wherever I am needed. I have worked with many of the lists and never tire of the questions and fears that new people have when they find this program. They remind me of where I started and how far I have come. That is what enables me to keep making those good choices - one at a time.

I began my radiant journey during the summer of 2001. I found SARP while browsing in my favorite book store. I couldn't believe what I was reading. It was like Kathleen was reading my mind. I immediately started the program and made it all the way to Step 6 in the first week. Needless to say, that initial attempt only lasted a short while. It took me several tries doing it my way, before I was ready to admit that maybe I should do what was working for everyone else. Once I made that decision, there was no turning back. I detoxed from sugar in September 2006.

Since doing the program, my life has changed in many positive ways. The self-acceptance that comes with radiance has allowed me to build healthier relationships. The self-confidence I feel has given me courage to live my dream and create the life I want. I'm grateful for this program and for the opportunity to host the Northeast list. It just keeps getting better and better.

I always knew I was different from other people. Some of this I understood – different talents and abilities, a way of looking at the world. But some I didn't.

There was the depression. There were times I had 'normal' reactive depression – my husband died young after a long illness, of course I was depressed! But that responded to therapy and learning how to deal with my life. There were also the odd fits of much deeper depression, when I wouldn't want to do anything, and knew no one cared about me – even when something had just happened a few days earlier to prove that they indeed did, very much! I had learned from experience that this only responded to pulling myself up through the mud and doing something I would normally enjoy, even though it felt impossible. (And my therapist had no idea what to make of this!)

I knew I reacted differently to food. In my late teens, I found it easier to avoid cake or cookies than to have a small piece. Later, this discovery was confirmed. When I taught preschool, if we had a birthday cake, I would crave a dessert that night, though I normally ate none. Later, when I did food demos, I had no trouble not having any as long as, in fact, I did not have any. (I usually wasn't supposed to.) But sometimes I'd sample a new product, so I could answer questions about it – and then, if it was sweet, I'd have trouble resisting it the rest of the day.

And my temper was uneven. Most people knew me as calm, unflappable, the person who eased the differences in a group, who saw all sides. But my family knew me as short tempered and explosive – and that side of me had cropped up elsewhere, too, to my distress. I knew that sometimes, for no good reason, I would just blow up – and I could not prevent it.

Meanwhile, I worked, and therefore ate, irregular hours. And I usually avoided sweets, but sometimes had cravings and would eat too many.

One day, on an internet discussion board, a woman mentioned Potatoes Not Prozac, and said it had helped her. I looked it up, thought it interesting, put it aside in my memory. The next spring, though, I was in a violent mood swing phase – up and down for no obvious reason. I looked it up, found the book in the library, and read it.

Suddenly many things made sense. Yes, that phase of feeling rejected on little evidence had come four days after receiving an award from the same people. Beta Endorphin spike. Ah... I wasn't crazy, there was something real happening here! I started eating breakfast with protein. I started feeling better. I dealt with a very real crisis all that summer with comparative calm, though I didn't go ahead in the steps for a while. I sort of fooled around with them for a while. Had trouble journaling, finally went ahead on Step Three. That made me feel wonderful, though it was difficult – my trouble was eating often enough during the day!

In the Spring of 2006 I got serious, and worked all the steps. I had been delighted to find the depression totally cleared up on Step Three, to the point to which I have to think to remember that was the original reason for starting the program. Now, I found that my temper evened out, too. I found that I was finally, reliably, myself all the time, without the inexplicable harridan who used to sometimes shout out of my mouth. Meanwhile, I had met a wonderful man, who is not SS and is very supportive. He fell in love with me on Step Three, but tells me I'm easier to deal with, now. We are now making a new life together, and life is good.

Hi, I'm Jennifer. I first learned of PNP in 1999, from a friend who'd stopped eating sugar (all at once, I'm sure). I went right out and bought the book and did all the steps except the journal in one day. Of course that didn't last, but I knew that this program was written for me. I rushed ahead to step six many times over the years, white knuckling all the way, but never quite understood how to create the solid foundation. I didn't know about the online community and support. I continued to falter, but I never let go of the books or the belief that this program was going to save my life.

After several years of debilitating depression and anxiety and rapidly progressing sugar addiction, I took a leap of faith and attended Ranch. I didn't know anybody but was welcomed and I knew I'd come home. Afterwards I joined a couple of lists, but was still too shy to connect much. My step 1 was solid, but I continued to struggled with staying steady with the other steps.

When I attended my 2nd Ranch, I could deeply sense the radiance all around me. I wanted what those people had! My commitment to the program and my connection to the community solidified. It finally came together for me and I was so supported and inspired. When I got home I promptly joined the journal list and a few others and began connecting regularly. And this time I was able to do the steps as they were written, slowly and in progression, joining each step list for support along the way. And when I reached step six and detoxed it was calm and steady--a joy, really. I'm enjoying a level of healing I only dreamed of before, and I know that this is just the beginning!

I love being a part of this community. It is such a safe and welcoming world. I really enjoy the exchange of support and information and just love to share this journey with so many wonderful sugar sensitive people from around the world.

Hello all. My name is Jessica. I grew up and live still Boulder, CO. My journey to Radiant Recovery began, I suppose, at my mother's high school reunion when I was about 18 months old. She discovered me under the table with my head buried in a watermelon, eating all of it. From then on my obsession with sugar was a well-known quirk of mine. Unfortunately it morphed into an eating disorder at the age of 13. I switched back and forth from exercise bulimia/restriction to plain old bingeing and purging until I purged for the last time in December 2005 on step 5.

Ironically it was my mother who also bought me "Potatoes not Prozac" in high school as she caught onto my problems. I promptly did all seven steps at once, crashed hard a few weeks later and lost track of the book. Two and half years ago I bought another copy and started over, slowly. I detoxed in May of 06.

These days I work full time coordinating conferences for an amazing little company here in Boulder. I have a daily meditation practice; I'm writing a novel, and I have just taken up rock climbing. And of course, I'm online catching up with the Radiant Recovery lists. It feels like I have more time on my hands than I ever have before. I'm so grateful to this program for that and the simple fact that I am excited to get up in the morning. That's such a precious gift.

Hi my name is John. I found the Radiant Recovery program through my analyst back in 2000. She knew about Kathleen's program and directed me to the website. I was pretty reluctant to do anything at first but I eventually bought her SARP book and got going. The book was an incredible eye-opener and I couldn't resist starting the program. It's been a slow process for me as I've taken about five plus years to go through all the steps, but it's been worth all the effort. Sometimes I wish it were an easier process (LOL) but I guess healing comes at its own pace. I'm on step 7 now and feeling so much better. I'm thrilled to be a part of this community as I feel these people have kept me going during some of the more difficult periods in my life. I look forward to continuing my healing process and continuing to give back to the community in anyway I can.

Hi! I’m Joy. You’ll see me post with a funny little symbol next to my name }{. In case you’re wondering… this is a butterfly. (smile)

I was diagnosed with clinical depression in March of 2003. I tried Prozac, but it didn’t work for me and eventually led me into manic swings. During the manic time, I made several irrational decisions. I quit my job, moved out of my apartment, put everything I owned into storage and almost moved to a place where I would be taken care of because I felt incompetent and incapable of taking care of myself.

In spite of my feelings of incompetence, there was a determination inside of me… a voice that said “slow down, life can be better,” and was determined to help me find a way.

So I went on a healing retreat and stayed in a cabin for three months. I ordered a second copy of "Potatoes Not Prozac." (The first had been collecting dust on my shelf and was in storage.) I sat down and read it, taking notes along the way. I became convinced that Kathleen knew me, and I believed there was something powerful in her research, so I started breakfast on August 17, 2004. AMAZINGLY, my moods became MUCH more even.

When I reentered the "real" world after my retreat, I found that I could barely manage to get breakfast with protein... so I began my journey to radiance in a not-so-idyllic setting. I was revisited by those feelings of depression, panic and anxiety that had effectively disappeared while I was away. Through this experience, I learned that doing the food was essential to maintaining my health. I began again, and this time I took baby steps.

My journey since then has been a beautiful thing. I detoxed on July 26, 2008. It took me almost 3 years to make it that far, but nothing was lost along the way. The healing was cumulative over time with great milestones along the way, and the changes I have seen in myself leave me breathless.

Post-detox, I have watched one old pain after another wash away, and I have no fear that they will return. I know that if they knock on my door again I will see them for what they are and will go to my journal to find what brought them there.

I am just beginning Step 7, and I believe without reservation that as long as I stay committed to healing and keep my heart open to the more of life, it will just keep getting better and better.

When I began this journey, I knew that I would need lots of support, and I found it in the Radiant Recovery community. I feel blessed to be a part of it. It is my pleasure and my joy to be able to give back to the community what I have been given in abundance. With love in Recovery, I thank you for being here.

Hi, I’m Paula, and I live in north central Illinois with my husband of 36 years. We have a son, a wonderful daughter-in-law and two energetic grandsons who are one of my favorite hobbies. I also enjoy ballroom dancing with DH, growing orchids, cooking, and reading—especially reading about health topics.

I first heard about Kathleen’s work in a Dr. Northrup newsletter in 1998. The concept of sugar sensitivity intrigued me, especially as I’d been told by a health practitioner that I was “allergic” to sugar. I had unsuccessfully eliminated sugar with a cold turkey program.

It wasn’t until many years later when I heard about and read the book, Your Last Diet, that I acknowledged my denial about being affected by sugar. I joined YLD and started doing the program in January 2005. I was interested in the weight loss program, but more interested in healing biochemistry. I had been dealing with depression and mood instability for many years and had used various medications with little success.

In a short time of doing the program, I began to feel better. It amazed me that something so simple as adding protein to my breakfast as well as the timing for it could make me feel more stable and hopeful once again about life. As I progressed through the steps, my late afternoon binging and mood plunges stopped and I was noticing an improvement in my self esteem, patience, and energy. I was also rediscovering a passion for life.

I wouldn’t have achieved this healing without the support of this community and am deeply grateful to Kathleen, the group leaders, and the friends I’ve made on my journey. I love that the opportunities for learning, growth, and healing are endless with this program and I’m honored to have the opportunity to encourage others as they walk their path toward Radiance.