Following the Rules


Hi folks, you know I sent out a letter asking for your input. One interesting thing came up. I got some inquiries from folks who said they have been doing everything *perfectly* and were disenchanted with the program because they hadn't lost weight. So I want to talk about this.

Sometimes I get a sense of people following the rules and doing it perfectly. Everything. But it doesn't include the listening to your body, the mucking around that makes the program become your own. You see there isn't a *perfectly* in this program. There is simply a committed, not a perfect way.

Committed means you show up when you are discouraged. You show up when you are still fat and you think you have tried everything. You show up with a beginner's mind and you say, what does my body say here? What needs to change? What have I tried? Why did it work for a while? What changed?

Committed means you ask the people you trust to help you see things you can't because you are in the middle of it. This is a big one. SS people are not team players. We think we know better. We know how to beat the diets. We ask for *advice*. But not for counsel. And then we ignore it.

Or we fail to ask the ultimate authority - our own body. We say, *Still fat!!! You slug....* and go off and do Atkins. I can't tell you how many letters I have gotten about knowing that Atkins will work and then I will be back.

So what *is* this program anyway? It is accepting on faith something that is so radical, so different from anything we have ever done. Trusting the voices of those who have done it longer. Not done it perfectly, not finished, not all fixed, but those who have hung in there, who are open and willing and are connected. Those who give back. Those who have learned that the heart of the program comes in service. Sitting with one more frightened tired newbie in despair. Or sitting with an old timer who crashed and burned and wants to bail with every molecule of who she is. Or being patient with the one in the middle who is bored and disenchanted.

Rules don't work for that. Heart does. Honesty and tenacity does.

Now here is the bottom line. For some folks the losing weight part is easy. It comes, it works and life is changed. For others, it is a bear. You will go through everything I have written and find you are not losing weight. And then, you decide whether you pitch it because *it* doesn't work or you stay in there as we find out. We don't have all the answers by a long shot. We are living the solutions. And the edge of our story is pushed out by those of you who are stubborn losers way more than by the success stories.

I don't know if this is making sense. Maybe I am just moved by all those letters you wrote me. But what I CAN tell you - Kathleen is in for the long haul. There are some things I do not know, actually LOTS of things I have not a clue about. I don't know why some of you get stuck. It may be that you haven't done the package, it may be that this package is not the one for your body. It may be that your leptin is inadequate or your delta 5 desaturase in under active. But I do know, if you stick with it, you will be able to hang in there and keep pluggin away and having fun along the way.

I am going to. So I hope you don't follow the rules, but you find the program.

(c) Kathleen DesMaisons 2006 All Rights Reserved