Lovely Janice
I'm looking forwards to more stories as well .

I just had a then and now experience. It might seem a bit frivolous but it is a huge thing for me

A big piece for me has been finding out about beta endorphin and how that works with me. I've always appeared really quite successful - whether in career or friends or family. But underneath the act there was no self confidence at all.

So a wedding, years ago. I wore an old dress because it was the only thing that fitted. I had been shopping and got upset in the changing rooms trying to find something new, but everything looked dreadful. I heard guests say about me, oh I wouldn't have recognised her she got so fat. At the friends photographs I was hiding. For the group photo, I couldn't escape so I hid right at the back, and the photographer tried to pull me forwards and I wouldn't go. Afterwards my friend told me she was upset I wasn't
on the photos and she could only see my hat . Well that suited me. The whole thing was an awful ordeal. I was tearful in the weeks before, overcome with emotion on the day and sad afterwards. Not that anyone would have known.

But my friend had wanted me there no matter what and wanted me recorded in the day, which didn't happen.. Sad, isn't it.

I went shopping the other week for a future wedding. (Its actually wonderful to know I will still fit in my dress on the day as I used to be very variable with clothes). I am really looking forwards to it. I went shopping and tried on eight outfits. Some of them looked awful, but that was ok because they weren't the right design for me. Some looked ok. Two looked amazing. So I bought both to treat myself. I will be just great at this wedding . No need to hide or feel less-than, I will look a million dollars, be present and involved and have a great time. And take those happy memories forwards with me. Such a difference.